TAV Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 She replied with: "After we stopped the relationship, I said I was not ready to rekindle it before my vacation, and I stand by that. I, today, am still not convinced a steady relationship between you and me is what I need, despite how good we have it sometimes." But she did rekindle the relationship before her vacation. The days you spent together you acted like a couple. On that Wednesday that she was grouchy she even expected you to act like a boyfriend by expecting you to be all understanding about her work issues despite it being your bday. It is like she does not want to commit because she expects to do better than you in future or because she wants to have the freedom to sleep around on her holiday. She wants the instant bf/gf experience when you are around and then leaves you dangling after. I guess if she calls today with her charming accent you will be putty in her hands again. The fact that she has had bad experiences in the past is not an excuse; it should tell her how much it hurts to be treated this way and would make her not want to treat anyone in a similar way. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Agreed, it's more than fwb. That's what you are for her. Slightly more than a friend, because you give "benefits". In other words, she's using you for the sex when she has free time and no one else in sight or available. How you accept that is beyond me. I mean, you can use her too. But that way, you're missing out on other girls and potential relationships. Any time spent with her is useful time you take away from your real hopes, dreams, desires, etc. that can be turned into reality. Stick to what you told her now. Go NC and stop replying her texts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CalvinM Posted August 19, 2014 Author Share Posted August 19, 2014 I sent her this email this morning: "Her name, The reality is that we have rekindled our relationship. You admitted that this was more than fwb to you and given that fact, you were grouchy on my bday and I was completely understanding the way a boyfriend would be. We wash each other in the shower, we even touched ourselves together, which to me is an incredibly intimate thing. Being hurt before is no reason to shut someone out. You say you don't want to start things up again before your vacation which either points to you seeing someone else now, or the potential for you to see someone while you're in Europe. I can see no other explanation. You're free to see whoever you wish, but this is the last contact you will receive from me. Until you learn to treat me better and decide to treat me better I see no point for us to continue communication. Perhaps while you're away from things you will realize how well I fit in your life, perhaps not. x" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Very well. She will s---w whomever she feels like, then she might come back to you and rekindle the relationship. How to kill two birds with one stone. Do yourself a favor, do not reply any text/call/email/message from her for good. But I doubt you'll be able to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CalvinM Posted August 19, 2014 Author Share Posted August 19, 2014 I think it's truly over this time. Talking hasn't gotten us anywhere, neither has spending time together in person. I see no other option at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CalvinM Posted August 27, 2014 Author Share Posted August 27, 2014 (edited) Update three. She left Saturday afternoon for Portugal. She called me early in the afternoon. She made it clear that she was feeling emotionally drained and that she needed to decompress. I didn't beg her or ask her to change her mind. I simply told her that I was open to working through a solution when she gets back, but wasn't interested in friends with benefits. I'm not sure what the future holds, but it gives me some insight into things. I did see this and while it's a bit generic, it does partially explain things: "She can hurt the Leo man (me) with her changing moods due to which she may become less responsive to her Leo man at sometimes during their love-making. While the Leo man can become aloof and the Cancer (her) woman might think that he has become indifferent." I'm a very logical person, so while some on here might find this to be a waste of time, I think it's telling. I've started nc (immediately after we hung up). If she reaches out in the next month to resolve our differences and work on our relationship, I'll allow it, otherwise I'm moving on. Edited August 27, 2014 by CalvinM Link to post Share on other sites
Author CalvinM Posted August 28, 2014 Author Share Posted August 28, 2014 Update four She reached out after Nc for five days. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/491638-nc-day-5-she-reached-out Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts