The journey continues...

[somedude81]

This thread will primarily be my quest log of trying to date again. A public journal of sorts.

 

My ultimate goal is to get a girlfriend by the end of the year. It will be something that I'm going to put a lot of work into. Hopefully that work and effort will turn into results.

 

Right now I have a minor goal of losing as much weight and looking as good as I can before school starts in September. Of course I'll keep working on my appearance throughout the year.

 

With that thought, I had a spinach and fruit smoothie for breakfast today. I also went to the gym and had a decent upper body workout. Tomorrow I'm going to do some laps in the pool.

 

Trying to continue what I did in Cabo, I want to go out at least once a week and just be more sociable with women.

 

I went to the Salsa Club tonight and actually had a decent time. I'm definitely pushing myself to talk more to women. I actually had decent conversations with two women tonight. One girl was just wow. Super cute and very busty. She was also really friendly and I talked to her a few times and we danced a few times. I wish got to keep talking to her throughout the night but I didn't want to smother her.

 

This was her first time at the club and she was a total beginner. Almost right after we rotated and it was my turn to dance with her, she said she wanted to leave because she was feeling lost and didn't understand anything. Thankfully I was able to convince her to stay with me and I gave her a mini private lesson. I had her for 10 minutes to myself which was great and we talked about school, how she just finished pre-nursing and stuff like that. When the lesson was over I let her go. I ran into her again shortly after and we danced again, but she stopped shortly after saying that her leg was really hurting. I danced with some other girls. Then I found her once again but not wanting to smother her I asked her where her friends are and if any of them were good dancers. After I danced with her friend, I saw her dancing with a guy. I felt like I had enough fun so I took off at 10:30.

 

While I was talking to her she said that she wants to come again next week. I'll definitely be at the club next week as I want to be a regular. I'll be shocked and pleasantly surprised if she comes again. If she does come, I'm wondering if I should try to make a move on her. She's smart, super cute, and has big boobs; in my book that pretty much makes her perfect.

 

I don't know if I'll see her again so I'm trying to figure out if I should try to pick up girls I meet at the club and how to do it. Also while there is a bar, not many people seem to be having drinks; at least that's what I noticed when I was there.

[amaysngrace]

Maybe it's a drug bar. Were lots of people drinking water?

[somedude81]

Maybe it's a drug bar. Were lots of people drinking water?

 

Drug bar?

 

At the salsa club?

 

I saw people having mixed drinks, water and I had a $5 beer.

 

Just that not many people were actually having drinks. At the dance clubs I went to in Cabo almost everybody had a drink. That wasn't the case here.

[kolleamm]

This thread will primarily be my quest log of trying to date again. A public journal of sorts.

 

My ultimate goal is to get a girlfriend by the end of the year. It will be something that I'm going to put a lot of work into. Hopefully that work and effort will turn into results.

 

Right now I have a minor goal of losing as much weight and looking as good as I can before school starts in September. Of course I'll keep working on my appearance throughout the year.

 

With that thought, I had a spinach and fruit smoothie for breakfast today. I also went to the gym and had a decent upper body workout. Tomorrow I'm going to do some laps in the pool.

 

Trying to continue what I did in Cabo, I want to go out at least once a week and just be more sociable with women.

 

I went to the Salsa Club tonight and actually had a decent time. I'm definitely pushing myself to talk more to women. I actually had decent conversations with two women tonight. One girl was just wow. Super cute and very busty. She was also really friendly and I talked to her a few times and we danced a few times. I wish got to keep talking to her throughout the night but I didn't want to smother her.

 

This was her first time at the club and she was a total beginner. Almost right after we rotated and it was my turn to dance with her, she said she wanted to leave because she was feeling lost and didn't understand anything. Thankfully I was able to convince her to stay with me and I gave her a mini private lesson. I had her for 10 minutes to myself which was great and we talked about school, how she just finished pre-nursing and stuff like that. When the lesson was over I let her go. I ran into her again shortly after and we danced again, but she stopped shortly after saying that her leg was really hurting. I danced with some other girls. Then I found her once again but not wanting to smother her I asked her where her friends are and if any of them were good dancers. After I danced with her friend, I saw her dancing with a guy. I felt like I had enough fun so I took off at 10:30.

 

While I was talking to her she said that she wants to come again next week. I'll definitely be at the club next week as I want to be a regular. I'll be shocked and pleasantly surprised if she comes again. If she does come, I'm wondering if I should try to make a move on her. She's smart, super cute, and has big boobs; in my book that pretty much makes her perfect.

 

I don't know if I'll see her again so I'm trying to figure out if I should try to pick up girls I meet at the club and how to do it. Also while there is a bar, not many people seem to be having drinks; at least that's what I noticed when I was there.

 

Wow your exactly like me. I'm also working out like crazy for when my college classes start in September and hoping to get a girlfriend by the end of the year.

 

First one to get a girlfriend by the end of the year gets 100 imaginary love shack points, deal?

 

Wow you also live in SoCal like me, I'm starting to think I posted this.

[somedude81]

Wow your exactly like me. I'm also working out like crazy for when my college classes start in September and hoping to get a girlfriend by the end of the year.

 

First one to get a girlfriend by the end of the year gets 100 imaginary love shack points, deal?

 

Wow you also live in SoCal like me, I'm starting to think I posted this.

 

Hah hah! Maybe you were actually going to post this but I stole it from your brain first.

 

Those imaginary points are mine! Though the winner can only claim them if they are with the girl on New Years Eve.

 

Good luck on your quest as well.

[kolleamm]

Hah hah! Maybe you were actually going to post this but I stole it from your brain first.

 

Those imaginary points are mine! Though the winner can only claim them if they are with the girl on New Years Eve.

 

Good luck on your quest as well.

 

I think you really did! haha

 

Deal I accept. I think we've got a lot of work ahead of us. This should really be interesting.

 

Rocky IV training scene starts playing...

[amaysngrace]

Just that not many people were actually having drinks. At the dance clubs I went to in Cabo almost everybody had a drink. That wasn't the case here.

 

Yep. It's a drug bar. She's a druggie. That explains her great personality.

 

The guy she was dancing with? She probably went home with him and did him.

[Emilia]

The guy she was dancing with? She probably went home with him and did him.

Twice!

 

____________

[hasaquestion]

This thread will primarily be my quest log of trying to date again. A public journal of sorts.

 

My ultimate goal is to get a girlfriend by the end of the year. It will be something that I'm going to put a lot of work into. Hopefully that work and effort will turn into results.

 

Right now I have a minor goal of losing as much weight and looking as good as I can before school starts in September. Of course I'll keep working on my appearance throughout the year.

 

With that thought, I had a spinach and fruit smoothie for breakfast today. I also went to the gym and had a decent upper body workout. Tomorrow I'm going to do some laps in the pool.

 

Trying to continue what I did in Cabo, I want to go out at least once a week and just be more sociable with women.

 

I went to the Salsa Club tonight and actually had a decent time. I'm definitely pushing myself to talk more to women. I actually had decent conversations with two women tonight. One girl was just wow. Super cute and very busty. She was also really friendly and I talked to her a few times and we danced a few times. I wish got to keep talking to her throughout the night but I didn't want to smother her.

 

This was her first time at the club and she was a total beginner. Almost right after we rotated and it was my turn to dance with her, she said she wanted to leave because she was feeling lost and didn't understand anything. Thankfully I was able to convince her to stay with me and I gave her a mini private lesson. I had her for 10 minutes to myself which was great and we talked about school, how she just finished pre-nursing and stuff like that. When the lesson was over I let her go. I ran into her again shortly after and we danced again, but she stopped shortly after saying that her leg was really hurting. I danced with some other girls. Then I found her once again but not wanting to smother her I asked her where her friends are and if any of them were good dancers. After I danced with her friend, I saw her dancing with a guy. I felt like I had enough fun so I took off at 10:30.

 

While I was talking to her she said that she wants to come again next week. I'll definitely be at the club next week as I want to be a regular. I'll be shocked and pleasantly surprised if she comes again. If she does come, I'm wondering if I should try to make a move on her. She's smart, super cute, and has big boobs; in my book that pretty much makes her perfect.

 

I don't know if I'll see her again so I'm trying to figure out if I should try to pick up girls I meet at the club and how to do it. Also while there is a bar, not many people seem to be having drinks; at least that's what I noticed when I was there.

 

Read your story. Its awesome that you went. Sounds like you know what you're doing at salsa, which is goo. Too bad that she was trying to get rid of you (leg hurting? yeah right).

 

Honestly if you want to take a stranger home, you're best served worrying less about it being "that cute girl with the big boobs". Instead focus on looking for whichever one who will sleep with you.

 

I know that sounds sleazy (well, it is sleazy), but its part of the process. Reality is most girls/women don't go to to a dance club thinking "boy! I can't wait to go home with a random stranger tonight and f*** him!"

 

Look at it this way - there's 20 in the room and 1 who will sleep with you, best to try and have fun with all 20 and look for that 1, instead of picking one out you fancy and hoping she's the 1.

 

Guys who are into the ONS thing have a radar for which are the girls who are lonely/insecure/horny/there to get drunk and have sex and forget about stuff. And if that bothers you... well that's a ONS.

[somedude81]

Read your story. Its awesome that you went. Sounds like you know what you're doing at salsa, which is goo. Too bad that she was trying to get rid of you (leg hurting? yeah right).

I don't know if she was trying to get rid of me or not. She didn't have to accept the dance, but the leg thing sounded like a bad excuse. Though she did sit down for a while after.

Honestly if you want to take a stranger home, you're best served worrying less about it being "that cute girl with the big boobs". Instead focus on looking for whichever one who will sleep with you.

 

I know that sounds sleazy (well, it is sleazy), but its part of the process. Reality is most girls/women don't go to to a dance club thinking "boy! I can't wait to go home with a random stranger tonight and f*** him!"

 

Look at it this way - there's 20 in the room and 1 who will sleep with you, best to try and have fun with all 20 and look for that 1, instead of picking one out you fancy and hoping she's the 1.

 

Guys who are into the ONS thing have a radar for which are the girls who are lonely/insecure/horny/there to get drunk and have sex and forget about stuff. And if that bothers you... well that's a ONS.

I'm not trying to get a ONS. Why do you think that's what I want?

 

Would I would like is to get some numbers so I can go on dates.

 

This thread is all about me trying to find a girlfriend. I also really want a girlfriend that enjoys going out dancing.

Edited July 18, 2014 by somedude81

[hasaquestion]

I don't know if she was trying to get rid of me or not. She didn't have to accept the dance, but the leg thing sounded like a bad excuse. Though she did sit down for a while after.

 

I'm not trying to get a ONS. Why do you think that's what I want?

 

Would I would like is to get some numbers so I can go on dates.

 

Gotcha.

 

Next time ask for her number there and then. Sounds to me like the one you were crushing on wasn't interested (again, interested women go pretty far out of their way to drop hints/make themselves available), but hey the only way to find out is ask.

[Scales]

I don't know if she was trying to get rid of me or not. She didn't have to accept the dance, but the leg thing sounded like a bad excuse. Though she did sit down for a while after.

 

She did though. If the girl is interested she won't duck out like that. It's similar to them suddenly needing to go to the bathroom. It was her out. Her leg doesn't hurt that much she was dancing later on. I'd look for someone else.

 

Decent plan though. Like someone else mentioned get numbers while you're out there. I wouldn't worry about smothering anyone either. You might end up not showing enough interest in a very competitive type of environment and lose them to another guy.

[somedude81]

Gotcha.

 

Next time ask for her number there and then. Sounds to me like the one you were crushing on wasn't interested (again, interested women go pretty far out of their way to drop hints/make themselves available), but hey the only way to find out is ask.

 

She barely knows me, so I'm not sure why she would be interested.

 

Is it common to get numbers of girls you just meet?

[learning_slowly]

I used to know guys who would ask for numbers in the street. The worst that can happen is she says no.

[somedude81]

I used to know guys who would ask for numbers in the street. The worst that can happen is she says no.

 

Did those guys ever get numbers?

 

As for this girl:

 

Would there be a higher chance of her saying yes if I saw her next week after talking to her for a bit. Or would it not make a difference?

[hasaquestion]

She barely knows me, so I'm not sure why she would be interested.

 

Is it common to get numbers of girls you just meet?

 

Of course it is! When else would you get their number?

[hasaquestion]

Did those guys ever get numbers?

 

As for this girl:

 

Would there be a higher chance of her saying yes if I saw her next week after talking to her for a bit. Or would it not make a difference?

 

Well, this girl already tried to get rid of you by saying her leg hurts then went and danced with another guy. So forget about this girl.

 

In general... I don't think it makes a difference. From my experience, if she'll give you her number she will right away.

 

I get the sense that you see yourself as a "personality guy" (i.e. you believe that if someone were to want to be with you, it would be on account of your personality), and thus you are trying to approach girls in a way that allows you to convey your personality (a conversation based, over time way).

 

That's kind of a limiting way to be. First impressions are not just about your looks they're also about how your "personality looks"... and guys who aren't necessarily beautiful but still do well with women do so on account of first impressions just as much as the "hunky" ones. Someone doesn't need to be around you for a lot of time to be attracted you for your "personality".

[No Limit]

Right now I have a minor goal of losing as much weight and looking as good as I can before school starts in September. Of course I'll keep working on my appearance throughout the year.

 

Damn, I'm female and even I use my holidays for fitness. Good to see I'm not the only one. Except that loosing weight isn't my objective, being more active is enough for me.

 

Good luck on your quest.

[somedude81]

Well, this girl already tried to get rid of you by saying her leg hurts then went and danced with another guy. So forget about this girl.

I'm not going to write her off just yet. When I asked her where her friend was, I took of to find her and little did I know that she actually fallowed me and introduced me to her friend and recommended me.

 

In general... I don't think it makes a difference. From my experience, if she'll give you her number she will right away.

 

I get the sense that you see yourself as a "personality guy" (i.e. you believe that if someone were to want to be with you, it would be on account of your personality), and thus you are trying to approach girls in a way that allows you to convey your personality (a conversation based, over time way).

 

That's kind of a limiting way to be. First impressions are not just about your looks they're also about how your "personality looks"... and guys who aren't necessarily beautiful but still do well with women do so on account of first impressions just as much as the "hunky" ones. Someone doesn't need to be around you for a lot of time to be attracted you for your "personality".

 

Yes, I am a "personality guy." I have no foolish aspirations that women will fall for me because of my looks. That just ain't happening. Hell, my ex actually told me that my appearance was not what attracted her to me.

 

Girls need time to fall for me. That's why my main focus is on school where I get to talk to girls several times. Meeting girls and then trying to get their numbers right away is just not going to work for me.

[CrystalCastles]

Sounds like you're taking things easy and that's great!

 

Good luck out there! Hope everything works out.

[Imajerk17]

No advice to give somedude81. I just want to salute you for taking action and putting yourself out there!

 

Well actually a bit of advice. RE fitness, it's a marathon not a sprint. It's less important that you kill yourself in the gym, and more important that you just keep on going in the coming weeks and months and work out consistently. Even when you don't feel like going.

Edited July 18, 2014 by Imajerk17

[ThaWholigan]

Yep. It's a drug bar. She's a druggie. That explains her great personality.

 

The guy she was dancing with? She probably went home with him and did him.

 

Twice!

 

____________

 

You gals are terrible!

 

 

Serious:

 

Good to see you being proactive and actually making friends out there. Let this be just the beginning. Also, Grace and Emilia are probably right - drugs are probably quite regular in places like that, you'd be surprised. That's part of nightlife overall - having said that, you did leave quite early. I don't leave the clubs till early morning at least. Next time you go, watch your drink!

 

Keep it up, an focus on the moment - the process not the goal. Otherwise you'll feel sh*tty when things don't go well as quickly as you want.

[somedude81]

No advice to give somedude81. I just want to salute you for taking action and putting yourself out there!

 

Well actually a bit of advice. RE fitness, it's a marathon not a sprint. It's less important that you kill yourself in the gym, and more important that you just keep on going in the coming weeks and months and work out consistently. Even when you don't feel like going.

 

Yeah, I'm well aware of how important it is to be consistent in the gym and to not kill myself.

 

My original plan was to swimming today, then I realized that I'm still sore from yesterday and swimming would just suck.

 

Consistency has always been my main enemy. My goal is to hit the weights at least twice a week. It may not seem like a lot, but when I've been normally working out once a month, that's a huge change.

[somedude81]

You gals are terrible!

 

 

Serious:

 

Good to see you being proactive and actually making friends out there. Let this be just the beginning. Also, Grace and Emilia are probably right - drugs are probably quite regular in places like that, you'd be surprised. That's part of nightlife overall

OK, no more discussion about drugs please. I have no idea how it started but it's completely irrelevant to this thread.

 

- having said that, you did leave quite early. I don't leave the clubs till early morning at least. Next time you go, watch your drink!

 

I always watch my drink.

 

Yes I did leave early, that's mainly because I'm not a night person. With my insomnia I rarely get a good nights sleep so my head starts to really start hurting if I'm out late. Plus I got to the club at 8 pm for the Bachata lesson. 2.5 hours of dancing was enough for me. Though I'm sure I'll stay later next time.

 

Keep it up, an focus on the moment - the process not the goal. Otherwise you'll feel sh*tty when things don't go well as quickly as you want.

 

I completely agree with you. My goal is a long term one so I won't get burned out if I don't feel that things aren't working out. Right now I'm just being more sociable and flirty. I'm not expecting to make any progress at all with women until school starts in September. Right now I'm just keeping myself warmed up. Though if I can get a few days between now and then, that would be amazing.

 

I'm really hoping Jessica shows up again next week. If she doesn't, that's fine. But if she does, I really want to take a shot at her.

[veggirl]

I think it's awesome you're putting yourself out there SD Dancing is a great icebreaker and it's something you enjoy--win-win!