The journey continues...

[somedude81]

Well I went out to the club tonight, and had more fun than last week. The lessons weren't as jam packed as last time which was a plus. I also danced with a few girls this time which was nice. I also got to dance with a super hot girl who was also a pretty good dancer. I really enjoyed that.

 

Though one thing that's become apparent to me is that the odds of finding somebody to date at this club are slim to none. I just have no idea how to make any progress with a girl I meet there. Most of the people arrive at the club after the lessons, and it's impossible to have a conversation. Basically it's just one dance and good bye. While I'd have a little more time to talk to people who went to the lesson, there really aren't that many cute girls who go to the lessons, and I never seem them the next week. I'm not sure what to do.

 

So far the most fun I've had at that club was when I took my ex there. Those were amazing nights. I really wish I could get her to dance with me again.

[USMCHokie]

Though one thing that's become apparent to me is that the odds of finding somebody to date at this club are slim to none. I just have no idea how to make any progress with a girl I meet there. Most of the people arrive at the club after the lessons, and it's impossible to have a conversation. Basically it's just one dance and good bye. While I'd have a little more time to talk to people who went to the lesson, there really aren't that many cute girls who go to the lessons, and I never seem them the next week. I'm not sure what to do.

 

Forgive me if this has already been addressed, as I've been away for a while, but have you ever gone to other clubs or venues that have salsa nights without lessons? That is, just people going to places that have salsa-themed nights where you just go, meet people, and enjoy a shared interest?

 

 

You might have to expand your search window...

[somedude81]

Forgive me if this has already been addressed, as I've been away for a while, but have you ever gone to other clubs or venues that have salsa nights without lessons? That is, just people going to places that have salsa-themed nights where you just go, meet people, and enjoy a shared interest?

 

 

You might have to expand your search window...

 

Why would it matter if there wasn't a lesson?

 

The lessons run from 8-10, and then it's free dancing from then on. Many people get to the club at 10 or later and never do the lesson.

 

Besides, how am I actually supposed to meet people when the lesson is over? That's what I'm trying to figure out. It's basically impossible to talk to anybody because the music is very loud and I only get one dance with a girl. No conversation with her at all.

[somedude81]

haha Life ain't normal man. First girl I had sex with basically jumped me. Embrace all your experiences haha. It makes life a beauty dude.

 

You're so worried bout girls man, haha. Just let life flow through you. haha

 

Eh, my early sexual experiences were very far from normal and not something I'd tell anybody in person. My ex had absolutely no idea what my sexual past was other than I've done a few casual things and she was my first girlfriend.

 

Many girls would simply refuse to date me if they knew my true past.

[USMCHokie]

Why would it matter if there wasn't a lesson?

 

The lessons run from 8-10, and then it's free dancing from then on. Many people get to the club at 10 or later and never do the lesson.

 

Besides, how am I actually supposed to meet people when the lesson is over? That's what I'm trying to figure out. It's basically impossible to talk to anybody because the music is very loud and I only get one dance with a girl. No conversation with her at all.

 

Ah, I see. Disregard my last.

 

 

To answer your question, first you need to become a master of your craft. That is, get good at those various styles of dancing. Become so good that you can basically dance with any girl regardless of her skill level and lead the dance so expertly that she dances well without even knowing what she's doing. I truly think that's the secret. If you can show girls a good time by making the crappiest dancers feel like they're somewhat ok, you'll definitely garner their attention and conversation. After the dance, they'll be more likely to stick around and chat, maybe learn a little from you, or learn a little about you.

 

 

Just a thought...

[somedude81]

New month so I decided to do a weigh-in.

 

I'm down to 152 lbs. At the start of the year I was 169.

 

No idea what my goal is other than to get rid of my gut. Still a work in progress.

[hasaquestion]

New month so I decided to do a weigh-in.

 

I'm down to 152 lbs. At the start of the year I was 169.

 

No idea what my goal is other than to get rid of my gut. Still a work in progress.

 

Is losing your gut not plenty of a goal in itself?

 

Good work, especially if you started getting serious about this after the beginning of the year. 17 lbs is no joke.

[somedude81]

Is losing your gut not plenty of a goal in itself?

 

Good work, especially if you started getting serious about this after the beginning of the year. 17 lbs is no joke.

Thanks dude.

 

 

Definitely, losing my gut is plenty of a goal, but it's not measurable. Meaning I can't say that I'll lose my gut at 145 lbs. It'll just happen when it happens. The trick will be keeping up my muscle mass.

[Teknoe]

Many girls would simply refuse to date me if they knew my true past.

 

Sometimes I think we (you, me and everyone else really who struggles off and on with issues such as self-image, self-confidence and so forth) are really our own worst enemies.

 

A toxic/negative/doubtful spirit is much more crippling than not having a 6-pack, not knowing how to flirt/talk with girls or even not having the biggest wallet.

 

Sometimes, our negative thought life permeates so much that we're our own worst enemy.

[somedude81]

There is just no way I'm going to tell a future or present girlfriend that I've been to swinger clubs and did stuff like that.

 

I'm all about don't ask don't tell.

 

If she does ask, I'm not going to lie, but she will have to get pretty specific with her questions to get everything out of me.

 

Thankfully my ex didn't ask for the details and I just told her I did the casual thing for a bit and that she was my first GF. Hopefully the next girl won't ask to know anything more than that.

[Teknoe]

To SD especially but to everyone else reading this as well... it's not often that I watch a movie where the message hits me in the bones... the kind of message that sticks in your crawl, long after the credits roll.

 

Earlier tonight, I saw such a movie containing such a message. It was Samuel L. Jackson's The Samaritan. The quote of the film, repeated throughout, was this:

 

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll be what you've always been.

 

NOTHING CHANGES UNTIL YOU MAKE IT CHANGE."

 

If we apply this to our lives, imagine the power we'd gain. Instead of making up excuses, or playing the victim card time after time (which I admit I do FAR too much of), imagine if we embraced positive thinking more often, and make consistently smart decisions to get what we want.

 

Our lives would change. Maybe not overnight. Maybe not even after several months. But it would change. Because we would have made those changes happen, ourselves.

 

Nothing changes until you make it change.

 

Me, I'm going to get back to working out 4x a week. I'm also going to say YES to all social invites, rather than choosing to stay home in my safe haven. I'm going to make the change.

 

And I hope those of you who need to, do as well.