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worried about girlfriends past...


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xxxDantexEmmelixxx

okay, so this will sound stupid, and I'll probs get tones of hate, but hey..

I have an amazing girlfriend... she seems relatively pure and innocent, the way she puts it... and I should propably believe... is that:

I will be her first (she's a virgin)

I'll be the first to see her naked

the first to touch her 'down there'

the first for her to touch 'down their'

the first to give/receive oral sex to/from her...

 

apparently, the only experiences she has, are her ex boyfriend groped her, on 5 occasions (when they were together) and he did it from the front.. the same every time so it got boring and annoying for her...

and she slept in the same bed as him a few times...

 

now, its proably me being paranoid, and my anxiety/trust issues again... but I can't be so sure... usually girls don't seem to get groped or sleep with another guy, without turning it onto more...

 

now, before jumping to conclusions, and sending loads of hate... it is NOT her having any experience that makes me worried, I accept my girlfriends, no matter what happened in the past, after all, past is past... and even though it may be less than desirable, it makes us into the people we are today... and I love her for who she is...

I have told her this so many times, that I wouldn't judge her past... and I'm not going to break up because of something that happened then, and not now...

 

but I can't be so sure... after all, we have eachothers facebook account logins, so we can stalk eachothers chats for fun... but on multiple occasions, she has deleted some of her chats... now, I'm nto sure if she told something to them she doesn't want me to see... or she is flirting... or even if she had cyber sex with them at one point (me and her have cyber sex regularly, and as far as I am aware, she has only done it once, with another guy a few months ago, who wasn't really good, exact quote: "turns you over and has sex with you while hugging u" yeah.....

 

but I'm worried, she hangs around with about 7 other guys, and only 1 other girl, every Thursday, they mostly flirt with her, and either she doesn't notice (she's quite vulnerable) or she doesn't mind... she knows how uncomfortable I feel about a couple of them in particular... but goes to the beach swimming with them... in just her bikini (they are quite perverted) and it worries me sick...

 

she's just hid so many things, and deleted facebook chats with her exes.... mainly, her last ex (the one who groped her and slept together)... she comes up with excuses like "I delete old messages cuz they're a waste of space" (even though they aren't, because you just don't look at them again... not like they slow your computer down or anything...)

and "I was hiding the breakup, because I seemed weak" (she broke up with him over facebook) but still.. that's no excuse to delete them,especially when she knows I have trust issues, and we have argued, and promised about deleting messages before...

 

I'm just not sure anymore how much I can trust her....

all the messages she deleted...

all the guys she hangs around with...

the way they actively flirt with her, even where I can see...

the fact she is always desperate, and will not let ANYTHING stop her from seeing those guys....

 

 

its all just pretty suspicious to me...

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xxxDantexEmmelixxx

oh, I should clarify: it's not exactly her past I'm worried about, as I said, everything happens for a reason... and it makes us who we are today...

 

its the fact I'm almost 100% sure she's hiding things... maybe because they embarrass her... maybe because they hurt me.... but nothing hurts me more than hiding and lying...

 

I just feel she doesn't trust me... even though she knows I would still accept her... it just feels unfair, I tell her EVERYTHING... and I am SURE she is hiding something more than just a little bit of groping, sleeping, and cyber sex....

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Is this the girl you haven't even met yet?

 

Did you get your hair done? I've been waiting to hear about it!

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xxxDantexEmmelixxx
Is this the girl you haven't even met yet?

 

Did you get your hair done? I've been waiting to hear about it!

 

yeah, that's the one ^^

 

and I shall upload pics soon when I get my camera fixed (dropped it off a castle wall on holiday 0_0)

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