Spira Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 I'm sure you guys are sick & tired of hearing me vent about this stuff, but it has been on my mind for the past week driving me nuts. I was just on another thread talking about something similar - your SO's emotional ties to someone else. I'm so bothered by this. I know that certain songs remind him of her. I know that he still calls her every now & then (never when I'm around). I know that in the past he cheated on his fiance with her *years* after they had broken up. I know that she's the one that got away, so to speak. I know that things he's said to me about her seem off, like when we were watching an Evanesence video one night and in one part they do some special effect thing on the singer's eyes - he said, "Her eyes used to do that when she got sick..." When he lost contact with her, he searched for her again. He keeps pictures of her in his photo album though he's thrown away all other pictures of his ex's. He says they're still friends, and I know this is true - they are just friends. And I also know that a few months before I met him, they tried to get back together & it supposedly just didn't work & didn't feel the same. So she moved back to Florida. But I can't help but believe that he still has deep feelings for her. There's another girl that worries me, too. He was infatuated with her before we started dating. They never dated, but he still continued to like her long after we were together. He downloaded pictures of her (one of them nude - god, I don't even know where he found that one), got her e-mail address & sent her a message (he *never* does that), "jokingly" asked his friend for her phone number in an email: ("...Can you e-mail me [girl]'s number, er, I mean directions to the party, LOL!..") all while we were together & supposedly happy. Then he confessed to me that when we had broken up for a week, he had gone to dinner with his friends & one of them invited her along to try & set them up (but nothing happened). We still see her every week when we go out... I almost left him, and all of this was a huge reason why. Things are going a lot better now, and I think he may have made progress in our time together to let go. But it still bothers me. My intuition tells me that he still hasn't gotten over girl #1, and my heart still hurts that he did those things dealing with girl #2 while he was with me. I'm really, really trying to let these things go in our attempt to start fresh, but I need to know once and for all the truth of how he feels. I don't want him to tell me what I want to hear just to make me happy. I know that he loves me & wants to be with me forever. Should that just be good enough? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Spira Posted February 22, 2005 Author Share Posted February 22, 2005 Bump? Link to post Share on other sites
glitter-gal Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 Sounds like your man is very emotional & has ties these ties to his 2 exes. This could be a good thing that he is in tune with is grief over loosing them. Just make sure he's not just using you to fill some void he has for someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
emopunk Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 He really does need to let go Spira. Read this one... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t33429/ . My post on that is exactly what I would say here too. I'll check back on you later! Link to post Share on other sites
emopunk Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 By the way, if we were really tired of you... we just wouldn't respond. That's why we're here on LS, to lend our ears to your thoughts and voice to other views... well at least that's why Im here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Spira Posted February 22, 2005 Author Share Posted February 22, 2005 Thanks, emopunk. You are always helpful. I feel a bit more calm now that I got all of that out. Link to post Share on other sites
emopunk Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 No problem at all. Constructive venting does wonders for the mind and the soul. Just vent to the right people... otherwise you might start a riot. Link to post Share on other sites
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