I feel so bad

[klve]

I have never forgot my first love, we were not in a relationship but we were together one and one night, and this was 1993. This was going on in about 4 years. But then he started in a relationship with a girl and married her and have children with her.

I have never forgot him and live in a small country so I see him sometimes and get news about him.

2 times I meet him coincidence down town at a club and I know ride away something was going to happen between us and we were kissing for hours. Both time he was married but I was married in the second time.

 

I meet my husband 12 years ago and have 3 children with him. I love him in my own way and have a good live with him, but can not forget the other one.

I wrote to my first love in Facebook and and we have been talking there and it started soon in getting sexual and we have been meeting 4 times. He works in a another country and when he is there we talk and plan our next meeting when he comes back home. But our meetings has not been going so well, he has always got orgasm very rapidly and for the first 2 times he said because he has been in the other country so long but we meet the 3 and 4 time two consecutive days and he said **** when it happened, and I have not talked to him since. And we meet at his home the 4 time, his wife was at another country. I dont know if this has something to to with this

 

Last Tuesday he went back to work and I wrote him in a email on Wednesday but nothing, so I wrote again in facebook and said hi but nothing and yesterday I said are you back in Norway and nothing so today I said. Hi I just wanted to know if you are working so hard or if you are not getting my message or if there are some other reasons I don´t get an answer from you.

None of the message in Facebook show that he has seen it, but I saw he shared some picture yesterday so he was at Facebook then.

I do not understand this, I would think he got the balls to tell me if he didn´t want to be doing this any more, it is so easy just to write it and not to telling me that in the face. Especially because we know the same people, my friend is married to his brother.

 

 

I see now he has read my post 20 minutes ago and no answer, what shall I do.

 

 

Sorry about my spelling, English is not my language.

[Shadowburn]

I have never forgot my first love, we were not in a relationship but we were together one and one night, and this was 1993. This was going on in about 4 years. But then he started in a relationship with a girl and married her and have children with her.

I have never forgot him and live in a small country so I see him sometimes and get news about him.

2 times I meet him coincidence down town at a club and I know ride away something was going to happen between us and we were kissing for hours. Both time he was married but I was married in the second time.

 

I meet my husband 12 years ago and have 3 children with him. I love him in my own way and have a good live with him, but can not forget the other one.

I wrote to my first love in Facebook and and we have been talking there and it started soon in getting sexual and we have been meeting 4 times. He works in a another country and when he is there we talk and plan our next meeting when he comes back home. But our meetings has not been going so well, he has always got orgasm very rapidly and for the first 2 times he said because he has been in the other country so long but we meet the 3 and 4 time two consecutive days and he said **** when it happened, and I have not talked to him since. And we meet at his home the 4 time, his wife was at another country. I dont know if this has something to to with this

 

Last Tuesday he went back to work and I wrote him in a email on Wednesday but nothing, so I wrote again in facebook and said hi but nothing and yesterday I said are you back in Norway and nothing so today I said. Hi I just wanted to know if you are working so hard or if you are not getting my message or if there are some other reasons I don´t get an answer from you.

None of the message in Facebook show that he has seen it, but I saw he shared some picture yesterday so he was at Facebook then.

I do not understand this, I would think he got the balls to tell me if he didn´t want to be doing this any more, it is so easy just to write it and not to telling me that in the face. Especially because we know the same people, my friend is married to his brother.

 

 

I see now he has read my post 20 minutes ago and no answer, what shall I do.

 

 

Sorry about my spelling, English is not my language.

 

It's really simple. Block him on Facebook, do not contact him via email or any other means, and don't respond if he finally decides to reach out. Concentrate on your own life, your husband and kids. Leave this shady man and his problematic orgasms to his wife. All the best!

[klve]

It's really simple. Block him on Facebook, do not contact him via email or any other means, and don't respond if he finally decides to reach out. Concentrate on your own life, your husband and kids. Leave this shady man and his problematic orgasms to his wife. All the best!

 

we are not friends in facebook so I thing I can not block him.

But I wrote to him in sms and he answered me in FB and said that he had not been avoiding me and that he has been with no internet. but he has had guilty conscience especially because we were at his home.

 

He has not been speaking to me first but has answered me when I have talk to him. But I can feel that he is not like he was before and something is wrong.

[OWAmy]

All that has happened is that he has come to his senses sooner than you have. And he now wants out of whatever it was you had going on.

 

But he won't say this of course. He wants to be the good guy and act in such a way that his lack of response will annoy you, so you say Oh I can't be bothered with this any more. I know because I tried this tactic - I also threw in the guilty conscience, which is another popular one!

 

Anyone who says otherwise doesn't have your best interests at heart.

 

Say Goodbye forever and block on phone etc.

[OWAmy]

He is not even good in bed. That is supposed to be THE only real perk of a physical affair!

[klve]

All that has happened is that he has come to his senses sooner than you have. And he now wants out of whatever it was you had going on.

 

But he won't say this of course. He wants to be the good guy and act in such a way that his lack of response will annoy you, so you say Oh I can't be bothered with this any more. I know because I tried this tactic - I also threw in the guilty conscience, which is another popular one!

 

Anyone who says otherwise doesn't have your best interests at heart.

 

Say Goodbye forever and block on phone etc.

 

I know everything you say is right, but after 21 years of obsession it is very difficult to go away. The last 6 years when I have gone down town at a club I have been looking around to see if I see him.

It is maybe now time to go to psychologist, because I´m not going to fix this myself.

I've often thought if I should go to a psychologist to hypnotize me, so I can forget him.

But 2 days ago I asked him to promise me something and that is that when the time comes that he want to to stop this, he would not ignore me, but tell me about it. He promised it.

I hope he will do that.

[OWAmy]

It may be difficult for you to get over him, but then again it might not. You could well be underestimating yourself. You just don't know until you try. Finding yourself on LoveShack is a good starting point so keep coming back, contributing to the boards and you'll find lots of help here.

 

One of the things that really helped me towards going no contact was separating 'fantasy' from 'reality'. It suddenly dawned on me I spent far too much time daydreaming and not living in the real world so whenever he came into my head I said "Go away" and paid close attention to what was actually happening in my life. Who in their right mind wants to waste a life in imaginary land?!

 

Hypnosis under a professional is an interesting idea and worth looking into as an option. But digging deep in therapy could help you in lots of areas because let's face it no one ever has just one issue that got them into an affair.

 

Please don't be satisfied with his promise. It doesn't mean anything. Don't find any comforter in it.

 

X

[Majormisstep]

Klve,

 

He's not responding because he got what he wanted and has retreated back to his MM life. Chances are he'll come a'calling again when the urge strikes or the coast is clear.

 

Block FB, don't cyber stalk and get counselling to find out WHY you let this liar and cheat back into your life. Your H and kids deserve all of your love and attention, not him.