30yr with no dating experience - want to turn my life around and need some input!

[William]

In order to return ScorchedSouls thread to him, the off topic discussion of modern dating issues in general has been moved to it's own thread here>>>http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/517670-issues-modern-dating

We now return you to your regular scheduled program. ~Thank you

[Scorched Soul]

Thanks for the latest replies everyone. The offspring of this thread is also an interesting read, glad I could help in my own small way in the birth of that lively discussion!

 

Obtuseegde - Yes, I do often have a strong desire to be with a woman. I have been avoiding them out of some irrational fear of messing up and being judged as a freak by them. It sounds crazy but the feeling is so intense and unpleasant that i find it easier to just avoid it. But i have also developed close friendships with women who have been relationships already, i think because there is less fear of being judged in a sexual way, not sure if that makes sense. I also know im a pretty nice guy once i just effing relax so i can develop good friendships over time.

 

wb1988 - thanks for the advice, i will keep this in mind.

 

Candreas - i don't know what to say man, other than that i empathise with you. I'm really in no position to offer any advice other than you need to get out of that bitter and angry place. That is a path to destruction. You feel that way because you think you have already lost everything but the truth is you haven't. You still have 40-50 years left to live. SO MUCH to play for. Focus on what you can gain going forward, not on what you think you have missed out on, that will drive you deeper into depression.

[Scorched Soul]

I have a bit of an urgent question. As you can probably tell from the history of this thread, I am very uncomfortable in social situations such clubs and bars. One of the main reasons is that I am completely incapable of handling attention from women. I fall to pieces and act like an absolute muppet. I therefore avoid these situations. I have been invited to go to a party this weekend and think I may not be able to avoid going without doing some irreparable harm to a friendship.

 

Therefore, I was hoping for some advice on how to conduct myself.

 

I will be there with a group of people who I really can't afford to look silly in front of and just want to be able to get through the night without embarrassing myself. People there will know I'm single, so how can I avoid tricky situations? I feel it is safer to try to brush off advances from women than to try something and make potentially embarrassing mistakes.

 

What's the best way to do so without looking weird?