Girlfriend Just Showed Me Nude Pics of Her Male Neighbor

[Pirate40]

So I have been dating a great woman for the past 10 months, fairly serious for the past six. We are both in our mid-40s, both recently divorced, so we aren't kids and don't play games with each other. However something has come to light last night that has been bothering me.

 

She has a male neighbor that she occasionally hangs out with, she does not keep this a secret. I have never really thought much about it as I am not a jealous person and has given me no reason to think anything other than them being friends. Last night however she pulled up some texts on her phone that he had sent her yesterday while his out of state. He was at a nude park and sent photos of himself there. Upon further discussion she tells me he sends her pics like that sometimes, "but not often" were her words. She goes on to explain when she sees I'm not liking this that there is nothing going on between them. That she is just very open and easy to confide in and that he's comfortable with being open with her.

 

Mind you I have never met this neighbor. They only get together when I'm not around. She assures me he knows about me and how she feels about me and went so far as to pull up texts where he was asking about me and saying he looked forward to meeting me soon. She continued to scroll down text to show me there is nothing going on other than an occaisonal nude pic. I had no interest in reading any of it and told her it's none of my business reading her text. That she's a grown woman and can do what she wants.

 

This has been gnawing at me. She tells me I am overreacting. I don't feel I am though. I have plenty of female friends and I don't send them cock shots is what I told her.

 

Anyone else dealt with a similar situation? She did voluntarily bring this up. I didn't discover these pics myself. But still...

[thefooloftheyear]

And you are still with this woman???

 

Not only is she crapping on you, she has the nerve to not even be secretive about it....Like that justifies it??

 

Shocking....

 

 

TFY

Edited July 20, 2014 by thefooloftheyear

[Imported]

she's a grown woman and can do what she wants.

 

This has been gnawing at me. She tells me I am overreacting. I don't feel I am though. I have plenty of female friends and I don't send them cock shots is what I told her.

 

 

She is a grown woman. You are not overreacting. Your very basic beliefs are not a match. She should consider a "guy friend" sending her nude pics wrong as well. I wouldn't give a **** how she tries to rationalize it to be OK. It's not OK. Find a better woman.

[Art_Critic]

She continued to scroll down text to show me there is nothing going on other than an occaisonal nude pic.

 

That is a lot going on... I wonder if he has any of her...

 

I'm with the other posters above.. time to find someone who isn't so crappy to you..

[Tbisb74]

Well, from my considered PoV, she may have absolutely no hang-ups about male/female nudity. What's her opinion of going to a naturist park? How is she in bed? inhibited in some ways? Liberal? Adventurous? Does she ever walk around 'commando'?

You know, some women are very comfortable with nudity. A friend of mine is a gynaecologist. To say she's seen it all is an understatement.

She frequently attends water-births in which the husband joins the wife in the water, fully naked.

Naturally, the other posters may be right. Or your lady freind really may be completely blasé about things of this kind.

Only you can determine that.

And as I see it, from the mere B&W words on the screen, it's possible that the problem is with you, not her.

 

something has come to light last night that has been bothering me.

 

She has a male neighbor that she occasionally hangs out with, she does not keep this a secret. I have never really thought much about it as I am not a jealous person and has given me no reason to think anything other than them being friends. Last night however she pulled up some texts on her phone that he had sent her yesterday while his out of state. He was at a nude park and sent photos of himself there. Upon further discussion she tells me he sends her pics like that sometimes, "but not often" were her words. She goes on to explain when she sees I'm not liking this that there is nothing going on between them. That she is just very open and easy to confide in and that he's comfortable with being open with her.

 

Mind you I have never met this neighbor. They only get together when I'm not around. She assures me he knows about me and how she feels about me and went so far as to pull up texts where he was asking about me and saying he looked forward to meeting me soon. She continued to scroll down text to show me there is nothing going on other than an occaisonal nude pic. I had no interest in reading any of it and told her it's none of my business reading her text. That she's a grown woman and can do what she wants.

 

This has been gnawing at me. She tells me I am overreacting. I don't feel I am though. I have plenty of female friends and I don't send them cock shots is what I told her.

 

Anyone else dealt with a similar situation? She did voluntarily bring this up. I didn't discover these pics myself.

 

You're contradicting yourself, which exposes a discomfort with the situation you're not being honest about. So who here, is actually pulling the wool over the other's eyes? Her - or you?

[thefooloftheyear]

Well, from my considered PoV, she may have absolutely no hang-ups about male/female nudity. What's her opinion of going to a naturist park? How is she in bed? inhibited in some ways? Liberal? Adventurous? Does she ever walk around 'commando'?

You know, some women are very comfortable with nudity. A friend of mine is a gynaecologist. To say she's seen it all is an understatement.

She frequently attends water-births in which the husband joins the wife in the water, fully naked.

Naturally, the other posters may be right. Or your lady freind really may be completely blasé about things of this kind.

Only you can determine that.

And as I see it, from the mere B&W words on the screen, it's possible that the problem is with you, not her.

 

 

 

You're contradicting yourself, which exposes a discomfort with the situation you're not being honest about. So who here, is actually pulling the wool over the other's eyes? Her - or you?

 

 

Yeah,,,,,ok.....

 

TFY

[Tbisb74]

Right. Instead of just a pithy one-liner, what's wrong with my input?

[CarrieT]

Well, from my considered PoV, she may have absolutely no hang-ups about male/female nudity. What's her opinion of going to a naturist park? How is she in bed? inhibited in some ways? Liberal? Adventurous? Does she ever walk around 'commando'?

You know, some women are very comfortable with nudity. A friend of mine is a gynaecologist. To say she's seen it all is an understatement.

She frequently attends water-births in which the husband joins the wife in the water, fully naked.

Naturally, the other posters may be right. Or your lady freind really may be completely blasé about things of this kind.

Only you can determine that.

And as I see it, from the mere B&W words on the screen, it's possible that the problem is with you, not her.

 

 

 

You're contradicting yourself, which exposes a discomfort with the situation you're not being honest about. So who here, is actually pulling the wool over the other's eyes? Her - or you?

 

I'm in this camp...

 

I've been to nudist camps (not remotely sexual) and am blasé about nudity.

 

The question the OP should ask this woman is how would this guy's wife feel about the photos; THAT would be very telling about the situation. Maybe they are all nudists.

 

Those of us in middle age aren't as worked up about these things as people in their 30s or 20s.

[TigerLilly78]

I'm in this camp...

 

I've been to nudist camps (not remotely sexual) and am blasé about nudity.

 

The question the OP should ask this woman is how would this guy's wife feel about the photos; THAT would be very telling about the situation. Maybe they are all nudists.

 

Those of us in middle age aren't as worked up about these things as people in their 30s or 20s.

 

I think this nails it hes a nudest so sending pics of him doing everyday things could well be in the nude i could see the occasional one when hes on a vacation or something no different then sending a pic to a friend im guessing to them its just not a big deal but the OPs gf should be more respectful since now she knows it bothers him..

[Tbisb74]

I'm in this camp...

 

I've been to nudist camps (not remotely sexual) and am blasé about nudity.

 

The question the OP should ask this woman is how would this guy's wife feel about the photos; THAT would be very telling about the situation. Maybe they are all nudists.

 

Those of us in middle age aren't as worked up about these things as people in their 30s or 20s.

Couldn't have put it better myself.

I think those with an aversion show a hurdle in their own thinking. But then I guess I'm just being liberal in mine.

[thefooloftheyear]

99.99999999999999999% of the population would be bothered about this-either side of the gender fence.....It shows a lack of respect...

 

For the other .00000000001%....well...obviously they arent a match..because its pissing him off...

 

And I am not buying the theory...If she had this "fetish" I am sure she would have informed him of this way early on(she should have if that was the case)...Almost every guy isnt going to be down with it....Especially because the guy is a neighbor and she interacts with him...Its not like a random photo she found off the net...

 

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

I think this nails it hes a nudest so sending pics of him doing everyday things could well be in the nude i could see the occasional one when hes on a vacation or something no different then sending a pic to a friend im guessing to them its just not a big deal but the OPs gf should be more respectful since now she knows it bothers him..

 

 

He's a moron....

 

Any dope knows you dont send pics of your junk to some woman you know when she is in a relationship....unless there is some other motive at hand..

 

TFY

[Tbisb74]

The word 'fetish' is yours, but not one I'd use.

Why do people consider anything THEY do not see as normal, to be a "fetish"?(Notwithstanding the fact you enclosed yours in speech-marks....)

Simply because people have different parameters and boundaries doesn't make them peculiar, it merely makes them different. Too different for the OP, that's obvious.

Well, he and this woman either have something which needs discussing, or he has to decide how important this is to him, vis-a-vis continuing the relationship.

[thefooloftheyear]

The word 'fetish' is yours, but not one I'd use.

Why do people consider anything THEY do not see as normal, to be a "fetish"?(Notwithstanding the fact you enclosed yours in speech-marks....)

Simply because people have different parameters and boundaries doesn't make them peculiar, it merely makes them different. Too different for the OP, that's obvious.

Well, he and this woman either have something which needs discussing, or he has to decide how important this is to him, vis-a-vis continuing the relationship.

 

 

OK fine....Some people like to fck farm animals, too...But unless you met that person at the annual farm animal fcking convention, that is stuff you better put out front so that there is no confusion-when you bring someone else into your life...Its NOT the norm...

 

TFY

Edited July 20, 2014 by thefooloftheyear

[CarrieT]

Its NOT the norm...

Define "the norm."

 

When I was in my 20s, I lived in a VERY large pagan community where thousands of us would gather on weekends and all wander around naked.

 

THAT was my norm. Even as a child, I had parents who were not ashamed of nudity and I was raised in a household where no one wore clothes to bed. Ever. At 5, 10, 15, etc. I saw all of my family members in the buff heading to the bathroom. This was 40+ years ago.

 

Everyone reacts differently to such things and living in San Francisco, I can head to certain neighborhoods RIGHT NOW where there are naked people walking around. It is no big deal.

 

Again, the question that needs to be asked is if the neighbor's wife is aware of his actions. Only then can the situation be adequately assessed.

[Imported]

..Especially because the guy is a neighbor and she interacts with him...Its not like a random photo she found off the net...

 

 

TFY

 

Hey, it's OK. She only interacts with the neighbor when the boyfriend is not there.

[Haydn]

Well i am no prude an ardent liberal but.....

 

If my `flame`, whipped out a few choice snaps of her male mates `happy sacs`. I would be just a tad concerned that the course of our RS was not quite what i had in mind. If it later transpired, (although not likely), that she was an enthusiast of `birthday`suit occasions i would politely decline any further engagement on the basis that our `fetishes`are not quite the same and no amount of work would put it right. That done i would offer to show her my rather racy snaps of a rather passionate afternoon in aisle 8 of my local builders merchants.

[Tbisb74]

OK fine....Some people like to fck farm animals, too...But unless you met that person at the annual farm animal fcking convention, that is stuff you better put out front so that there is no confusion-when you bring someone else into your life...Its NOT the norm...

 

TFY

 

... and if you find pictures of some poor animal suspended in mid-air because some arse-whole* of an owner has seriously overloaded the cart the poor creature is pulling, then that's your bag.

you find that funny? I don't. Having worked at a donkey sanctuary, the state of some of the poor animals was pitiful, and had to be seen to be believed.

That poor animal is probably scared, distressed and in some pain.

 

But hey, if that humour tickles your funny-bone, then so be it. You find it amusing. I don't. Does that make you 'abnormal'? No of course not. it just makes what makes you laugh, different.

 

But it's not something that would be immediately obvious to somebody coming into your life. A woman may only find out your humour is off-the-wall (to her) some time down the line. And it could be a deal-breaker, or not, depending on how you manage to discuss it and work things out.

 

(*misspelling deliberate).

[veggirl]

What. the. fk. You can be comfortable with nudity and view it as NBD but that still doesn't make it okay to be exchanging nudes with someone who isn't your partner!! So he feels comfortable being open with her...wtf does that have to do with ANYTHING? I feel comfortable being open with my best friend, I don't send her nudes because of it!! WTF.

[Tbisb74]

Steady with the WTF's dearest...

 

Like I said, this is an issue that is obviously bothering the OP. To her, it may seem normal (again, that word... still awaiting clear definition) but the OP obviously feels uncomfortable. As CarrieT pointed out - if the neighbour's wife/partner knows about this or not, is more important than whether this behaviour is "normal" or not.

One never knows. They may all actually belong to a coven, or group of nudists.

[TXGuy]

If the GF thinks this is no big deal, who knows what else she considers no big deal? I won't list the possibilities, you can let your imagination run wild. If it were me, this would certainly take her off my "potentially serious" list.

[whichwayisup]

They were and maybe still are friends (neighbours) with benefits.

 

I have male friends and NONE of them has ever sent me a picture like that.

[Quiet Storm]

What. the. fk. You can be comfortable with nudity and view it as NBD but that still doesn't make it okay to be exchanging nudes with someone who isn't your partner!! So he feels comfortable being open with her...wtf does that have to do with ANYTHING? I feel comfortable being open with my best friend, I don't send her nudes because of it!! WTF.

 

I know. My guess is that they are FWB or have hooked up at some point.

 

If it bothers you that she finds this acceptable, then you just aren't compatible with her.

[Tbisb74]

No mention is made anywhere of this neighbour actually being married or having a partner.

Read into that what you will....

[beach]

The only guys that have ever sent me that kind of picture - are men that know I've already seen their stuff.

 

Your GF has a much more loose boundary than you do.

 

Do you think it would be all cool to have gals sending you crotch shots? I doubt she's like that much.

 

The fact that she's not put off by it means she is ok with being that personal with him.

 

I wonder why you haven't met the man who thinks it's ok to send your GF penis pics? Why not? Are you prepared to tell him he's crossed the line and it's completely inappropriate? Are you willing to tell her too?

 

I mean, seriously, that is just not right - unless you've already had sex, then it's only normal after you know each other well.