IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 I know, I'm a bad person. I just became friends with this girl about 2 weeks ago and we instantly clicked. then i met her "boyfriend"........(I put that in quotes cause there not actually labeled) Me and him are perfect for each other. We flirt, laugh and joke. She's to boring for him. I know he likes me too. He tells me that he wants me and not her. Me and him kissed last night. To much to drink, it happens. What do i do? I mean there not a labeled couple. He can hook up with anyone he wants. But WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE HER HOOK-UP?!?!?!? O'well, what are ya gonna do? That's the way the cookie crumbles. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 You are not a bad person. Maybe you are telling yourself that, to excuse what might happen further down the line. You are in a complex situation. It's easy to cast stones, but hard to make sense of the situation, and act upon a course of action. Even though they have no official label, they are somehow together. Because they don't have a label it does not mean they are not together. Just as there are a lot of people who think they have a relationship, because they share sexual intimacy. So be careful of how much of a relationship you consider this to be. You can give tons of reasons why you would be a better partner than the woman you became friends with. But these are only rationalizations for yourself. They don't reflect his view of the situation necessarily. She might have other qualities he values highly, which you are lacking. Does that make you a terrible woman? No, of course not. Would your 'defects' mean nothing to him? Of course they would mean something. Probably negative, but we cannot know what goes on in his mind. Either way, his behavior seems odd. On the one hand he has the girl whom you befriended two weeks ago, with which he has this unlabeled relationship. On the other hand, he did not mind kissing you. Do you know she did not mind him kissing you? Or other girls if he desired? Or is it what he told you? It could have been just for fun, as he seems to be allowed to hook up with other people. It is impossible to get an accurate view of this bf, and as you don't know him too long, I would advise you to get to know this bf a little bit more, before even contemplating a move. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 Hook up with him, lose the 2 week friend. Just don't be surprised when he 'returns the favor' in your two's relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted February 22, 2005 Author Share Posted February 22, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Hook up with him, lose the 2 week friend. Just don't be surprised when he 'returns the favor' in your two's relationship. See that all i want to do is hook up with him.i don't want a relationship with him.......obviously he's a player if he wants both of us. I just want to have nasty sex with him!!! D, You give me some great in site to the situation. I'm not a bad person. I cant help that way i feel. But, I don't think she would like the fact that he hook up with other girls, not just be, but any. O'well, we'll see where it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 IHNFC, I can understand your desire to have sex with him. If you are confident with the idea of using a player, you can do that. But you are aware of the risks of getting involved with a player, even if it is only about the lust for you. But consider the position of your friend of 2 weeks also. I feel like he presents everything as if it were a sort of open relationship. His unlabeled girlfriend may not agree, and probably will not agree. Unless she is acting the same way, and brings over the occasional guy for a bang. Your desire to have sex with this player, will undermine your friendship with her. If you act upon your desire, and she finds out, you will have lost her. You know that. Unless she were bi-sexual and is comfortable with the idea of a threesome. If not you must think of what you'd like more. A few times sex with this player + a lot of drama + the both of them out of your life or friendship with this girl + acquantaince / friendship with this guy. But if she is however in a relationship in which she would mind very much that he would have sex with other girls, try not to make her an unknowing victim of your sexual desires. Does she know he is a player? Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted February 22, 2005 Author Share Posted February 22, 2005 Originally posted by d'Arthez Does she know he is a player? She knows he doesnt want a girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 Mhmm ... the situation does not become easier. Probably she feels she can convince him to enter a relationship with her, by having sex with him and showing how dedicated she is to him. She is deluding herself then. While he just wants to have sex with different women. Does not he want to grow the balls or something to be at least honest with her? And how can you be certain he and you want the same? He even might say he just wants sex with you and nothing more. He does not mind having a double agenda. So even engaging in 'just sex' could create more drama than you imagine at first. His lack of honesty and openness leaves you and her in a very vulnerable position. Either you miss out on the sex, or you going to have sex with him, and be the reason she breaks everything off, assuming she finds out. She will hate your guts, so don't waste the time of forming a deeper friendship with her. It will make her hate you even more. And the player, even though he has lost the both of you, seems innocent. Link to post Share on other sites
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