Extreme Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 Help! My fiance has come home with glitter on his face and smelling like perfume before. I have seen unusual marks on him that appear to be burns on his face, the upper inner portion of his thigh, and even on his *****. When I asked him about the last one, he claimed he got it from friction inside of me, but that sounds too impossible to believe. I've been with him for a year and hadn't seen it before, even though he says it has happened to him before. He continually flirts with other women in front of me even though we're engaged, and when he's drinking he brags in front of other women how good he is in bed and even talks about our problems at his favorite bar. Yet, if he's having an affair, that is being kept secret. He says he craves other women but doesn't want to have sex with them, and he's way too much into porn. He likes to hang out in his favorite bar (almost everyday, while I sit at home and he calls to check on me every hour or two), and when I walk into the bar, he's either sitting or standing by a woman yet doesn't want me going to the bar by myself or sitting by other men. He denies cheating and looks me straight in the eye when he's drinking, but yesterday I asked him when he was sober, he looked to the left, blinked his eyes, and said "no" and then turned back to look at me. How can I trust him? Link to post Share on other sites
LittleMiss Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 Well, I'm not sure how or if you should even trust him. His behavior is horrible and frankly I don't know how you put up with it. I would ask him again and if he can't look you in the eye then I think he's a cheater. Why would you want to be engaged to a man who has such little respect for you? I mean he flirts in front of you and everything. I would kick him to the curb before it gets worse. You are only going to get hurt if you continue in this kind of relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
CaGirl1980 Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 How can I trust him? With that kind of behavior, you can't. I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but I'm afraid in this case it does not look good. If this is how he acts now, it's probably how he's always going act. Do you really want to be married to someone who treats you so horribly? Can you imagine sitting at home for the rest of your life while he's at the bar flirting and doing only god knows what with other women? It sounds like your not giving yourself enough credit. You are worth so much more than that kind of behavior and no one should have to put up with crap like that. I know it sounds really hard right now, but if I were you I'd know in my heart what he was doing, and I'd pack my stuff up TODAY and go. You can definitely find someone who will treat you better. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 You know what they say: "If it looks like fish and smells like fish... it's a fish." Link to post Share on other sites
Hund1976 Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 sounds like he's going to strip clubs and getting some vigorous dances. That would explain all the friction burns. Not sure what else he's up to. You can either break up with him, confront him (he'll probably deny anything is up) or follow him out a few nights to see what he's really up to. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 Extreme, I feel for you. It's the worst feeling in the entire world to think that your s/o may be cheating. I have to agree with everyone else here. You know, even if you don't catch him "red handed" doesn't mean that nothing is going on. I'd like to point out a few things to you before I continue . 1. If your s/o feels the need to have the attention of other women - he is not being true to your relationship. 2. If your s/o goes to the bar alone and prefers you NOT accompany him - he is not being true to your relationship. 3. When your s/o comes home with marks, sparkles & perfume on his body - he is not being true to your relationship. You are being fooled. This man obviously does not know what the true meaning of the word committment means - otherwise he wouldn't be doing ANY of the things that you told us he is doing! IMHO he is acting like he wants to be single. Why would you want to be the wife of the biggest pervert and flirt in the crowd......how humiliating would that be? Can you trust him? Does'nt sound it to me. bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
LittleMiss Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 I think bubbles said it perfectly! he will only cause you more pain and humiliation in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
WalkingTall Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 UNACCEPTABLE PERIOD. Doesn't sound like a fantasy man to me.... regardless of whether he "fully" cheated, he has no respect for you whatsoever! Link to post Share on other sites
Hep Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 THERE IS someone that will treat you like a queen out there, HE IS OBVIOUSLY NOT THE ONE!!!! I'd highly suggest leaving him... Do you want to have a life with a guy thats at the bar all the time?? Good Luck.. Link to post Share on other sites
k_lily Posted March 3, 2005 Share Posted March 3, 2005 Hon, you need to drop this guy right now, there is no time to lose. Now obviously none of us know everything that either of you are feeling, but from what you have said this is a no win situation. Clearly this man is having his cake in some form or another. It doesn't take catching him in the act to know that either way, he doesn't respect you!!! You two are engaged. This is supposed to be a very important time in your relationship, and if he isn't even there for you, then it's not worth it. Even so, it's still up to you what you do, but you can't just ignore this. Just remember, what ever decision you make, you have to stick by it because if you threaten to leave and then don't... he knows that he's got you. Link to post Share on other sites
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