karenbear Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Ok so I just found out that my husbands cell phone record shows phone numbers he has been texting and calling that when looked up are linked to escort services. We also had a charge on a credit card months ago that he swears he did not do and I have tried looking up the company which is a cleaning service but can find nothing on the company. He doesn't seem to be too concerned with getting it taken care of if it is a bogus charge. He acts like things are fine between, we still have sex. The hard part is if he is and we get a divorce we have 2 kids and I am a stay at home mom.....have been for 14 years how am I going to support myself and my kids??? We've been married for 19 years now....we had issues years ago before kids and I thought things were good. We just bought our first house , we have always rented or lived on base (he's ex military)....I just don't know how to confront him and I know he is going to lie even if I sit there with the phone records . Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! I am lost! Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 First off, go get tested for Sexually Transmitted Diseases!!!! Second, go into investigative mode: You can get a voice-activated recorder and hide it in his car (where most private phone calls take place). Put a key-logger on the computer that will tell you how he is researching these escorts. Gather evidence before confronting again and - personally - I would refrain from sex until you have determined if anything is going on if you are healthy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 (edited) Privately see an attorney to find out what it would mean financially. When it's an agreement for one partner (of either gender) to stay home and take care of kids, then the working partner needs to help support the stay at home partner get on their feet in the event of divorce. Find out what the time limit is on reversing credit card charges. If it hasn't passed, they should figure out what that charge is about, if you say it's a false charge and you need it reversed. Even if it is too late, you can tell your husband that you are contacting the credit card company to say there is a false charge and you are going to get it reversed. His reaction to getting the cc company involved may say a lot. If he put the charge on there, it may force a revelation. I'd be concerned about venereal diseases too. Get checked out. Edit: You can tell your husband that you want to use condoms or as Carrie said, avoid sex entirely. Edited July 20, 2014 by lollipopspot 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MuscleCarFan Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 I definitely agree with the others, you need to be tested for STD's. Link to post Share on other sites
LovemySons Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I'm sorry you're going through this You definitely need to talk to him...even if he denies it, at least he'll know you're suspicious. And I would also encourage you not to give up on your marriage too quickly. Especially since all you have are suspicions right now. I think you should suggest to him that you go to marriage counseling. A trained therapist should be able to help the two of you work through any issues that you might have. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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