If you can pass as white should you ?

[Thegreatestthing]

Or would you? Since life seems to be easier.I'm mixed race black,German etc but most people think I'm Bulgarian or Romanian or something ,I don't really resemble my family and no one seems to realise.ive noticed on OLD the whole race thing is more relevant.

I read stories of people who pass like Bella da Costa Greene and her life was easier because of it,but I don't think it matters as much now.

 

If you have the option to pass as white,would you or should you?

[Tbisb74]

What the actual.....?

 

I'm dumbfounded as to why, in this day and age, anyone really feels the need to even ask the question?

Why the hell would you want to hide, or betray your roots?

[Haydn]

Are you really asking this question??????? You are? Why???

[notserene]

I don't think I could do that and maintain respect for myself.

[Haydn]

Why do have so little respect for who you are. I know plenty of Romanians and Bulgarians. They all look different.

[jay1983]

First thing they look at is your pic. They're not gonna look at your pic, say "he's kinda cute" then "oh what a minute, he's mixed with black, never mind"

 

Embrace your culture, both of em. I speak english with a southern accent and I speak arabic with a Lebanese accent. I also go by my first name so people have a better idea of my ethnicity, cause like you I get mistaken for something different.

[Emilia]

If you have the option to pass as white,would you or should you?

So is this for dating reasons? Where do you live?

[gaius]

I have a little French ancestry in me but pretend I don't. Almost everyone is such a mutt nowadays, say you are whatever you want to be. As long as people will believe it.

[Tbisb74]

Yes, keep it within the boundaries of reality. I wouldn't pass for a 6-foot truck driver. Not with my stature and figure. Or gender, come to think of it!

 

Shame that people feel the need to conceal who or what they are. I am such a melange of different roots, my 'British' passport is a misnomer. I'm proud of who I am and where, in my genealogy, I have "been".

[ltjg45]

In all honesty, I would. I can't stand my roots as a black male and I am sure my life is a lot harder just off the color of my skin and what I went through.

 

It really do feel like a curse and I can't get rid of it even if I tried.

[jay1983]

In all honesty, I would. I can't stand my roots as a black male and I am sure my life is a lot harder just off the color of my skin and what I went through.

 

It really do feel like a curse and I can't get rid of it even if I tried.

 

That's a fu*ked up attitude. You should wear your culture on your sleeve. You should be proud to be an educated, well mannered black male and set an example for younger black people. What about black history and the african american culture? I'm talking about the jazz and blues, soul food, MLK, rosa parks. All that is nothing?

 

I'm arab, do you know how much sh*t I've taken for heritage? Going to school being the little foreign kid that every love to fu*k with, had the big curl fro and the payless shoes with the straps instead of laces. Would I want to be anything else, NO.

[mammasita]

The most idiotic thing you could ever do is try to be something you are not. It screams lack of character, self esteem and maybe even sociopath.

[Tbisb74]

In all honesty, I would. I can't stand my roots as a black male and I am sure my life is a lot harder just off the color of my skin and what I went through.

 

It really do feel like a curse and I can't get rid of it even if I tried.

 

I just compared your own picture, in your profile, to those of jay1983's in his profile.

The difference in physical demeanour, attitude and presentation is quite an eye-opener.

 

 

That's a fu*ked up attitude. You should wear your culture on your sleeve. You should be proud to be an educated, well mannered black male and set an example for younger black people. What about black history and the african american culture? I'm talking about the jazz and blues, soul food, MLK, rosa parks. All that is nothing?

 

I'm arab, do you know how much sh*t I've taken for heritage? Going to school being the little foreign kid that every love to fu*k with, had the big curl fro and the payless shoes with the straps instead of laces. Would I want to be anything else, NO.

 

ltjg45, whatever you project is what people will pick up on. You project "I'm a poor god-forsaken black guy and everybody hates me" and you'll get what you've given out.

Seriously, dude, man up, stand straight and be proud.

[Dooda]

I'm going to be blunt and say that, as a white person, you CANNOT understand what it's like to be coloured in western society, the same way that, as a man, you cannot understand what it's like to be a woman in our society.

People DO view you differently. Coloured people are scrutinized/more easily judged than white people are.

 

@Tbisb74... the fact that you compared ltgj45 with another 'black' person is despicable and a good indication of why it's hard to be coloured in this society. Coloured people are scrutinized/judged more than white people are. I've witnessed it first hand.

People will always glance at me and give me a second look to make sure I'm "safe". When I'm walking at night, white people will cross the street when they see me. The sad thing is, I am guilty of it too. I've had the urge to cross the street when I see a black person at night but I control my urge because I know it's just a baseless fear engrained in my psyche thanks to the stupid media.

 

Here's an interesting article that might open your eyes:

 

Why I hate being a black man | Orville Lloyd Douglas | Comment is free | theguardian.com

 

^This is in Toronto, one of the most open-minded, cosmopolitan cities in the world. It only gets worse from there.

[Allumere]

Reality is we take two steps forward and 10 steps back. I agree, I don't have a clue about what it is like beyond saying it sucks and it is a reality. With that said, don't start off a relationship with a lie. Not only does it suck you feel you need to but I agree with a former poster it does send the wrong message on so many levels. Seriously would you want to date someone that liked you because you were something else but not who you are. Dude don't do it. People are attracted to what they are attracted to period. So far I tend to be attracted to plain ole white dudes. My loss as I have met some really hot guys that were far from white...just no attraction. So let me ask, do you care what color and more accurately ethnicity they are?

[jay1983]

@Tbisb74... the fact that you compared ltgj45 with another 'black' person is despicable and a good indication of why it's hard to be coloured in this society.

 

I'm not black.

 

I am guilty of it too. I've had the urge to cross the street when I see a black person at night but I control my urge because I know it's just a baseless fear engrained in my psyche thanks to the stupid media.

 

Did you see Andrew's pics? He's a clean cut guy, with a polo shirt tucked into his khakis. You get the urge the cross the street when you see him because of the color of his skin? He's not some thug with gold teeth in his mouth and his pants hanging off his as*.

[Tbisb74]

@Tbisb74... the fact that you compared ltgj45 with another 'black' person is despicable and a good indication of why it's hard to be coloured in this society..

 

I didn't.

I compared their " physical demeanour, attitude and presentation".

I never even brought the factor of colour into it, other than my comment at the end, which basically was in the same vein, and echos Itjg45's own comment about himself.

 

Originally Posted by Itjg45

I can't stand my roots as a black male and I am sure my life is a lot harder just off the color of my skin and what I went through.

 

It really do feel like a curse and I can't get rid of it even if I tried.

 

Originally Posted by Tbisb74

You project "I'm a poor god-forsaken black guy and everybody hates me" and you'll get what you've given out.

 

Get your facts right. You can't even spell his forum name correctly.

[camillalev]

Always be proud of who you are. Period.

 

However, unless you have your head in the sand, it's pretty hard to deny that that people who are white play life in 'easy mode'. Especially the dudes. It sucks and is unfair, but that's the world we live in.

 

What exactly is this in regards to? Dating? You don't want to date anyone who doesn't appreciate you for who you are.

[ltjg45]

That's a fu*ked up attitude. You should wear your culture on your sleeve. You should be proud to be an educated, well mannered black male and set an example for younger black people. What about black history and the african american culture? I'm talking about the jazz and blues, soul food, MLK, rosa parks. All that is nothing?

 

I'm arab, do you know how much sh*t I've taken for heritage? Going to school being the little foreign kid that every love to fu*k with, had the big curl fro and the payless shoes with the straps instead of laces. Would I want to be anything else, NO.

 

My culture is based off of being a slave. That doesn't sound like anything I want to represent.

 

Even then, and after all that MLK did, look at what the black people is doing. I keep meeting the most entitled, stubborn, lazy people that I can ever meet by a long shot and they happen to share the same skin color that I have.

 

Black people get freedom and this is what we do with it.

 

I am proud for myself. I am proud for making the changes necessary to live, at the best, a decent life.

 

I am NOT proud of my race, the Black American race. If anything could keep me from achieving my dreams, it is the assumptions made of my race that was automatically painted on me. After all I went through, I can, at the least, understand that.

 

I don't like it but I do understand it and I will refuse to ever go down that path, even if that means I have to treat my immediate family as outcasts.

Edited July 24, 2014 by ltjg45

[Tbisb74]

"What we hate and deplore in others, we embrace to our heart and soul, almost as if we loved it that much."

 

You need to rise above it. Your culture existed before slavery. The first Homo Sapiens to 'take shape' were people very much in your print: You are our origin, not our confined victim. Your heritage began long before shackles and chains were a factor.

It's sad but understandable, that you deplore certain stereotypical attributes of your fellow people. But you cannot assume that such traits will be attributed to you. Just as I know, certain white, middle-class, crass attitudes are not mine to share. Nobody can tell by merely looking at me, what thoughts i have, what opinions I harbour and what I am like. But you needn't wear your chip on your shoulder so evidently. Instead, you should be proud, hold your head up, and be a shining example to all and sundry of what you stand for. And won't stand for.

[Haydn]

I get it but people from Tiverton i just cannot abide. (Especially that balloon festival)

 

 

"What we hate and deplore in others, we embrace to our heart and soul, almost as if we loved it that much."

 

You need to rise above it. Your culture existed before slavery. The first Homo Sapiens to 'take shape' were people very much in your print: You are our origin, not our confined victim. Your heritage began long before shackles and chains were a factor.

It's sad but understandable, that you deplore certain stereotypical attributes of your fellow people. But you cannot assume that such traits will be attributed to you. Just as I know, certain white, middle-class, crass attitudes are not mine to share. Nobody can tell by merely looking at me, what thoughts i have, what opinions I harbour and what I am like. But you needn't wear your chip on your shoulder so evidently. Instead, you should be proud, hold your head up, and be a shining example to all and sundry of what you stand for. And won't stand for.

[Tbisb74]

Balloon festivals are just a load of hot air.

But I like jam and cream scones.....

[camillalev]

"What we hate and deplore in others, we embrace to our heart and soul, almost as if we loved it that much."

 

You need to rise above it. Your culture existed before slavery. The first Homo Sapiens to 'take shape' were people very much in your print: You are our origin, not our confined victim. Your heritage began long before shackles and chains were a factor.

It's sad but understandable, that you deplore certain stereotypical attributes of your fellow people. But you cannot assume that such traits will be attributed to you. Just as I know, certain white, middle-class, crass attitudes are not mine to share. Nobody can tell by merely looking at me, what thoughts i have, what opinions I harbour and what I am like. But you needn't wear your chip on your shoulder so evidently. Instead, you should be proud, hold your head up, and be a shining example to all and sundry of what you stand for. And won't stand for.

 

It's called prejudice, and it does exist.

[rewl]

I don't like it but I do understand it and I will refuse to ever go down that path, even if that means I have to treat my immediate family as outcasts.

The irony of course being that black guys are regularly stereotyped as treating their own family as outcasts. You're not helping yourself with that comment.

[ltjg45]

The irony of course being that black guys are regularly stereotyped as treating their own family as outcasts. You're not helping yourself with that comment.

 

Perhaps but many of the problems I have with those of color is clearly shown within my own family.

 

I didn't learn anything positive from them. My 3 other brothers is, as expected, already doomed. One has 2 kids and can't pay child support, one is a mama's boy with hardly any opinion of his own, and the last one is a very stubborn, entitled, down syndrome boy.

 

The same things that I have come to hate and that I see constantly among the black people. The very problems the black people ignore and the very things that created these negative stereotypes and keeps them strong.

 

Everything necessary that I learned, I learned by listening and thinking of my own terms. Neither of my parents taught me these things. I was merely thrown out into the world and learned them the hard way.

 

I have got to the point where I don't even speak about the issues I see because it will simply be ignored in which I ask myself, "Why did I even bother?"

 

Too many problems, no one cares about making a solution, and we are too proud and stubborn to give a damn. Yeah, that's the black people way.

 

No thanks. I am not interested in that. Apparently, I may be part of the rare 1% that wants better than this. Unfortunately, it takes more than 1% if these stereotypes can ever die.

 

I don't blame any decent black person, male or female, to break away from this. This is a problem too big to be fixed. All we can do is educate the few that do want to listen and help them the best we can.

 

As for the rest? Let the chips fall as they may.

Edited July 24, 2014 by ltjg45