excluded from husband's group of friends

[devilish innocent]

Years ago, my husband started hosting a get together with me and a few of his friends. Every week we would get together to play games. I felt a little excluded from the rest of the group at first, but things got better once I got comfortable with everyone. After a while, one of the friend's started doing the hosting every other week. Her husband wanted to include a couple more people. So those people ended up becoming part of the regular group as well.

 

The problem is that ever since the new people joined, most of the group became really cliquey. They always teamed up together in games, made inside jokes, only ever talked about topics I couldn't participate in, etc. I don't think they ever purposefully set out to exclude me, but they also never seemed to care that I was being left out of everything. I was hoping once I got comfortable with the new people the situation would improve, as it had in the beginning. I stuck it out for a very long time for that reason, but things always remained the same.

 

Since then, I've bowed out of playing with them because I knew I'd only be unhappy if I continued. My husband still enjoys the games so he's still playing and hosting. A lot of the time I'm okay with them playing without me. But sometimes I have days like today. I can hear the laughter in the next room, and I'm having a hard time keeping it from bothering me.

 

My husband would do almost anything for me, so I know if I asked him to stop playing with these people, he would. I've just been telling him to continue because I don't want to stand in the way of him having fun. I'd like the opinion of others though. Would you do the same thing or ask your spouse/partner to find friends that didn't upset you?

[jackslife]

I think you should talk to your husband about it and let him know how you feel. As far as he is concerned you have told him that you aren't that interested, so he doesn't know how you are upset. I think he'd be horrified if he knew how much this was upsetting you.

 

Remember we men are pretty thick skinned and don't pick up hints and subtle feelings etc. Just talk it through with him and reach a compromise, if he's a decent chap it won't be an issue.