He hit me once, should I report it to police?

[ChamomileWind]

We had the same discussions, we had the same boundaries.

 

It still happened.

 

The older you get the more you realize that you can only control your reactions in life, and sometimes not even that.

I'm already in my late 20's and began establishing this rule within myself from my early teens.

 

Sometimes I get the feeling that some of us can only get lucky because it seems there are more men that/would hit a woman than those that don't/wouldn't and never have. It scares me every time I read a story of a woman that has been married for years and then suddenly one day her husband slaps her during an argument and she claims it's the first time ever after 5+ yrs of marriage and the guy is shocked over what he did. This is scary. It's like there is that aggressive gene that can appear either right away or on specific triggers (ex: what's said during an argument) even after years of knowing him.

 

Even a female friend is leery of some guys and once told me ''I would never argue with a man, you never know if he might then hit you and hurt you''.

 

That story I read about that married woman was just like that; the husband got physical over a bad argument.

Edited August 2, 2014 by ChamomileWind

[beyondcrushed]

That's exactly what happened to me. My exbf seemed totally normal, mild tempered,has himself together....but when a fight escalates and it becomes a struggle of control, he is pushed to edge and acts out in violence. same as my exh. But zero history prior to that, no hitting me or any women before. When I feel strongly about something I tend to not let go. I pushed and pushed. Then these men reacted with no self control.

 

But there were plenty red flags n warning signs. Exh had started fist fights w guys before, even fighting his dad. He also used control n aggression in other forms when upset w me.

 

With the exbf.... I had seen him lose his temper -- yell n throw things but anger was not directed at me. He had started a fist fight w another guy. He had yelled, screamed n was aggressive w his exw, but no hitting. He even told me he believed he us capable if hitting me if an argument got too intense. He said he was afraid of himself hurting me.

 

Of course, when ur emotionally involved u want to believe that's in the past n he won't hurt me. Stupid thinking. It means, those are the warnings n u should flee asap!!

[beyondcrushed]

So I didn't report it to police and he's since emailed me apologizing. Loser.

 

I didn't and won't talk to him.

 

I found out today that he assaulted a coworker of ours on work property. Coworker is a male and didn't press charges or go to HR . He didn't want to fight it out n cause him to lose work.

 

Now I think I should be told the police.

He is sick and needs help.

[d0nnivain]

Now, all these months later your complaint isn't as credible because it's not a fresh complaint unless you took pictures of your injuries. It just looks like you are piling on after the other guy was assaulted but then again it is some evidence of pattern

[beyondcrushed]

I have photos.

 

The coworker filed a report with the police but didn't press charges.

 

Yes, the fact I waited to report it doesn't look good. But I went to the police anyway and told them what happened to me but didn't ask them to investigate. I just asked them to add it to my coworker's report so that it shows a pattern with him (as you've mentioned), in case something comes up with him again.

[TroyNJ]

My question is why would you provoke anyone? When he asked you to leave his house that's exactly what you should have done...I'm in no way defending what this or your previous ex did but you sound like you could also use some anger management.