He broke up with me, why??? :(( now what.

[Lisa]

Well, I met this wonderful guy and we have been dating about two months now.He is 24 and I am 27. well, its over now because he ended things yesterday. Too make a long story short, I didn't trust him, and time and time again, that issue would come up, and he would get so angry at me for not trusting him. I told him I would work on trusting him and that I knew it was a flaw of mine. He never did anything to make me feel like I should distrust him, but I am just a very distrusting person of men in particular having had some very bad experiences.

 

Anyhow, the other night we went to a movie together. A girl we know from work (we work together) came in to see the movie and said hi to us, and sat down right in front of us. Well, the next thing I know, my boyfriend is throwing popcorn at her head, sort of flirting and trying to get her attention. I just blew up at him! I said that he was being disrespectful to me, childish, and was giving me more reason not to trust him. I said there was no reason to do that, and he was with me, not her. He claimed throwing popcorn at her was innocent and fun, and his intentions were innocent. He became very angry at me for what he said "flying off the handle", we had a fight about it, and he said I was being ridiculous, and completely over reacting for him throwing the popcorn. It just didn't make me feel good. He apologized, so we made up, and spent the rest of the night trying to have a good time.

 

So he calls me up Sunday, and out of the blue tells me we are way too different and expect different things out of a relationship. I told him all I expect is common courteousy when we are together, to call me on time and be a good boyfriend. He said he could not do those things and i was asking too much of him, gave him too many rules, and we aren't meant to be together! I told him that he can't call me up whenever he feels like seeing me to go out, he needs to set a time and follow through. He has been trying to work on it, but it just seems like too much of an effort for him. God, it shouldn't be that hard!!

 

Just three days ago, he was telling me how crazy he was about me, all the other wonderful things he loved about me. What did I do wrong?? He was the one who asked me to be his gilfriend in the first place. He was the one who chased and pursused me. Then he dumps me because he says "we are too different" What is wrong with thim?

 

Well, to make matters worse, I sent him an email today, asking for one more chance at "us" telling him he shouldn't be so quick to throw things away between us. What is even worse, is that we work together, and I have to now see him every day acting totally indifferent to me! I am so scared to see what he says when he reads my email. I am so hurt that he changed his mind on me so quickly, and could not go the extra mileand do the little things to make me happy in order to try make things work between us. I want him back, I care for him, I dont know why! What can I do now? I already sent him a pathetic email pratically begging for him back. If he says no, then I have to deal with the rejection every day at work, seeing him laughing with other girls, and not giving a ##### about me. God, I feel aweful. Is he a bastard or I am a fool? I thought he was special, why did he have to become such a jerk to me????? What do I do now??? Was I wrong for being angry at the pop corn incident? Please help.

[ashesmum]

I'm not gonna get too much into this, but I'm sure someone will... You guys should've thought about the consequences of dating each other knowing you work together. Blame yourself on that one. As for him saying you are both too different, obviously. You aren't gonna be completely secure with him and he has his own ideas of what is "innocent" and what isn't. There's no real way of knowing if he's flirting around a little too much. You don't really know each other cause you've been going out for a couple months. If he doesn't want a relationship, get over it and find someone else. It'll help take your mind off of working together too. Good luck.

Well, I met this wonderful guy and we have been dating about two months now.He is 24 and I am 27. well, its over now because he ended things yesterday. Too make a long story short, I didn't trust him, and time and time again, that issue would come up, and he would get so angry at me for not trusting him. I told him I would work on trusting him and that I knew it was a flaw of mine. He never did anything to make me feel like I should distrust him, but I am just a very distrusting person of men in particular having had some very bad experiences. Anyhow, the other night we went to a movie together. A girl we know from work (we work together) came in to see the movie and said hi to us, and sat down right in front of us. Well, the next thing I know, my boyfriend is throwing popcorn at her head, sort of flirting and trying to get her attention. I just blew up at him! I said that he was being disrespectful to me, childish, and was giving me more reason not to trust him. I said there was no reason to do that, and he was with me, not her. He claimed throwing popcorn at her was innocent and fun, and his intentions were innocent. He became very angry at me for what he said "flying off the handle", we had a fight about it, and he said I was being ridiculous, and completely over reacting for him throwing the popcorn. It just didn't make me feel good. He apologized, so we made up, and spent the rest of the night trying to have a good time.

 

So he calls me up Sunday, and out of the blue tells me we are way too different and expect different things out of a relationship. I told him all I expect is common courteousy when we are together, to call me on time and be a good boyfriend. He said he could not do those things and i was asking too much of him, gave him too many rules, and we aren't meant to be together! I told him that he can't call me up whenever he feels like seeing me to go out, he needs to set a time and follow through. He has been trying to work on it, but it just seems like too much of an effort for him. God, it shouldn't be that hard!! Just three days ago, he was telling me how crazy he was about me, all the other wonderful things he loved about me. What did I do wrong?? He was the one who asked me to be his gilfriend in the first place. He was the one who chased and pursused me. Then he dumps me because he says "we are too different" What is wrong with thim? Well, to make matters worse, I sent him an email today, asking for one more chance at "us" telling him he shouldn't be so quick to throw things away between us. What is even worse, is that we work together, and I have to now see him every day acting totally indifferent to me! I am so scared to see what he says when he reads my email. I am so hurt that he changed his mind on me so quickly, and could not go the extra mileand do the little things to make me happy in order to try make things work between us. I want him back, I care for him, I dont know why! What can I do now? I already sent him a pathetic email pratically begging for him back. If he says no, then I have to deal with the rejection every day at work, seeing him laughing with other girls, and not giving a ##### about me. God, I feel aweful. Is he a bastard or I am a fool? I thought he was special, why did he have to become such a jerk to me????? What do I do now??? Was I wrong for being angry at the pop corn incident? Please help.

 

[Laurynn]

You may not want to hear this, but I really don't think him jokingly tossing popcorn at the other girl was a big deal at all. Sounds like he was just trying to be the comedian. I'm sure if a guy really liked a girl, he wouldn't flirt with her by throwing buttery popcorn into her hair, know what I'm saying?

 

You really have to work on your 'trust issues'....because nothing turns a guy off faster than feeling like he's constantly being mistrusted. In fact, (though I don't think it's right) a lot of guys who are unjustly mistrusted, they'll actually END up doing something stupid.....heck, they're being accused of things that they're not doing so they might as well be doing it (that's how they think).

 

You'll never have a successful, fulfilling, mutually satisfying relationship until you learn to deal with your trust issues. Go to a good bookstore and go into the Self Help section.....there are books out there for people who have these issues, honestly. (sorry, don't know of any off hand....go to www.google.com and do a search for "Learning Trust" or something like that).

 

Even if your guy does decide to get back with you, give you a second chance, nothing is going to be any different...because you're just not able to trust him. Take some time away from him....have no further contact with him.......go talk to a counselor or therapist, even.......you need to work through all this, or you'll be forever miserable and hurting.

 

Take care,

 

Laurynn

[dirty_girl]

Well, I met this wonderful guy and we have been dating about two months now.He is 24 and I am 27. well, its over now because he ended things yesterday. Too make a long story short, I didn't trust him, and time and time again, that issue would come up, and he would get so angry at me for not trusting him. I told him I would work on trusting him and that I knew it was a flaw of mine. He never did anything to make me feel like I should distrust him, but I am just a very distrusting person of men in particular having had some very bad experiences. Anyhow, the other night we went to a movie together. A girl we know from work (we work together) came in to see the movie and said hi to us, and sat down right in front of us. Well, the next thing I know, my boyfriend is throwing popcorn at her head, sort of flirting and trying to get her attention. I just blew up at him! I said that he was being disrespectful to me, childish, and was giving me more reason not to trust him. I said there was no reason to do that, and he was with me, not her. He claimed throwing popcorn at her was innocent and fun, and his intentions were innocent. He became very angry at me for what he said "flying off the handle", we had a fight about it, and he said I was being ridiculous, and completely over reacting for him throwing the popcorn. It just didn't make me feel good. He apologized, so we made up, and spent the rest of the night trying to have a good time.

 

So he calls me up Sunday, and out of the blue tells me we are way too different and expect different things out of a relationship. I told him all I expect is common courteousy when we are together, to call me on time and be a g

 

i am in the same boat...guy is younger,we work together and he is a huge flirt, i on the other hand, am a mommy, who has been hurt very bad in the past and looking to get married. so problems arise...i have had my crying and throwing fits...sooo what i do is blind fate...if he is screwing around...i find out or he'll give me a sign... then he is out. because i want to make him happy i want to see him smile i love that and when i am screaming at him it doesn't make him happy or me, so as long as i feel his heart is still with me i chill