Boyfriend going on vacation without me..need advice!

[bluebunny]

Hi, I have a question I would like some advice on and I'll try to make it short. My boyfriend's friend asked him to go on vacation with him and his family to Mexico and the reason I am upset about it is because we have never been on a vacation together at all. We are both 29 and we've been dating about a year and a half and we are engaged. When I told him why I was upset about this he told me that he will go on a vacation with me wherever I want to go. So I guess that part is good, but I am mad that he agreed to go somewhere (especially Mexico no less!) with his friend first rather than telling him no and planning a vacation with me. Is that being selfish? He is a great guy and everything is great in our relationship, but this bugs me. It bugs me because if it was me and my friend asked me to go on vacation with her I wouldn't do it until I planned a trip with my boyfriend and we got to go do something fun together. That would be my first priority. Anyway, I tend to be a very jealous person even though there usually is no reason to be, but Mexico is a party town. Even though he's with his friend's family I'm sure he'll be going out to the clubs and plus I'm just jealous that he's sharing this experience with his friend and not me! So basically my question is just if I am over reacting or if other people would be bugged by this too. Sorry, I've never posted on one of these before so sorry if this is a dumb question!

[LucreziaBorgia]

I can understand that you are hurt and jealous, but you are over-reacting in this case. He didn't plan a vacation behind your back - his friend and his friend's family invited him, and he said 'yes'. He didn't choose a vacation with them at the expense of a vacation with you - he just simply accepted what was offered.

 

If he were jetting off with some girl "friend", it would be different. This is his friend and his friend's family and I'm sure he knows that once you two are married there really isn't a snowball's chance in Hades that he will ever be able to go on vacations with his friends alone anymore. Give him his chance to go and have some fun, and try not to do or say things to make him feel guilty for going.

[glitter-gal]

I concur... (ha ha from Catch Me If You Can)

 

No kidding plan a Vacation for you two a few months from now or something but for Heaven's Sake let him go parade around Mexico with his friend & friend's family. Give him your absolute trust and see what he does with it.

 

The greatest thing in the world is to completely trust and love another human being... this is your chance are you so quick to let it go???

[bluebunny]

Thank you both very much for responding! I think you are right and I should just let him go and have fun. Like I said, I do trust him I'm just a jealous person. I'm trying to work on that though. After all, nothing good ever came from being jealous! We'll just plan on own vacation after he gets back. It just bugs me because I would like to be there to share the fun with him, but we'll have other times for that. Thanks again for your opinions, I appreciate it

[Debster]

My husband went on a trip to Mexico to an adults-only, party place a month after we met.

I, of course, was concerned at first because we were just starting a relationship

Turns out, the whole time he was there he was thinking about me and missing me!

The first thing he did when he got back into town was call me and later on I found out that on that trip he realized that he had 'fallen' for me.

Sometimes a little absence can do wonders....