Need advice Posted February 13, 2001 Share Posted February 13, 2001 I need to know what people think about love at first sight. Everyone who is with someone that they love, was it love at first sight or did the feeling of love come while getting to know the person you were spending time with? A friend of mine was dating a very nice girl who he got along with great, but he walked away from her because he said that his heart didn't "stop" when he looked in her eyes. When they first got together he called her everyday and seen her almost everyday so I tend to think that there was some kind of flutter in his heart when he would see or talk to her. She cared very much about him and I think he became afraid that she would be expecting a commitment. Could it be possible that's what happened? I know there are some lucky people who meet someone and it is love at first sight but I think that is the exception and not the rule. Any advice on this subject would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
katie Posted February 13, 2001 Share Posted February 13, 2001 Love at first sight is just a term. What you experienced is called attraction or chemistry, it may turn into love once you get to know each other or it can fizzle if there's no chemistry. Love grows slowly, if it's real you know it cause you will accept each other the way you are. Don't forget that includes mutual respect. Link to post Share on other sites
Need advice Posted February 13, 2001 Share Posted February 13, 2001 Does that mean that my friend could have actually been with someone that could have turned out to be his soul mate if he would have gotten to know her better? Like I said, they got along great and had the same sense of humor and everything. Everyone thought they were a match made in heaven but my friend just pulled away because that "flutter" in his heart was not there. I've tried to tell him that he should have given it more time but he disagrees. I told him that true love comes in time. Infatuation is something that happens immediately but if two people enjoy spending time with each other then that is the start of a real relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 13, 2001 Share Posted February 13, 2001 I used to believe in love at first sight...but after a while I realized it was lust. I mean, I could go to the mall...still do sometimes...and fall in love dozens of times. But I finally figured out it was lust. Love is such an all-encompassing emotion that requires a lot of time to develop in a lasting fashion. Truly loving somebody is loving them for their behavior, loving them for how they make us feel and wanting the best for them. I loved the girls I saw at the mall, and at the beach...and other places...for the way they made me feel alright...just plain horney. But it takes a lot more than that to make true love. So what you feel at first sight is infatuation and lust. Real love comes after a bit of time...if it's going to present itself at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted February 13, 2001 Share Posted February 13, 2001 This is just my opinion :-)........... I think that those who feel they fell in love at first sight, are confusing true love with infatuation or lust. Real love, IMO, is the result of really knowing someone......their values, beliefs, goals, their convictions, how they treat others, their sense of confidence, their personality, how they deal with problems in their life, how they treat others, etc. Getting to really know someone takes time. You can't spend 30 minutes with someone and truly know them....so that being said, if you don't truly know them, you really can't love them. I've dated guys who I fell in love with after only a few weeks.....others, it took a couple months. For me, my ability to fall in love with someone depends solely on how 'connected' I feel to them...physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. But hey, that's just me. Lots of times when you hear about someone falling in love at first sight, it was mostly that they found that person extremely physically attractive. While that's great, outside beauty doesn't necessarily guarantee inner beauty......and for me, it's inner beauty that just HAS to be there. I've known many gorgeous in my days, but the majority of them had the personality of a mudflap. Just my opinion... Laurynn Link to post Share on other sites
Need advice Posted February 13, 2001 Share Posted February 13, 2001 In addition to getting to know that someone and their beliefs, ideals, standards and all, doesn't a person have to be totally open to meeting and getting that deeply involved? I know when I am not totally open to something I miss out on things at times. Why is it so difficult to get people to understand that when they have a good thing they should cherish it and try to make their love grow? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 13, 2001 Share Posted February 13, 2001 When the time is right, when a person is ready...and when the time is right for the other person...and the other person is ready, it all comes together. No sooner than that. Over and out!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Fishbulb Posted February 13, 2001 Share Posted February 13, 2001 This is just my opinion :-)........... I think that those who feel they fell in love at first sight, are confusing true love with infatuation or lust. Real love, IMO, is the result of really knowing someone......their values, beliefs, goals, their convictions, how they treat others, their sense of confidence, their personality, how they deal with problems in their life, how they treat others, etc. Getting to really know someone takes time. You can't spend 30 minutes with someone and truly know them....so that being said, if you don't truly know them, you really can't love them. I've dated guys who I fell in love with after only a few weeks.....others, it took a couple months. For me, my ability to fall in love with someone depends solely on how 'connected' I feel to them...physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. But hey, that's just me. Lots of times when you hear about someone falling in love at first sight, it was mostly that they found that person extremely physically attractive. While that's great, outside beauty doesn't necessarily guarantee inner beauty......and for me, it's inner beauty that just HAS to be there. I've known many gorgeous in my days, but the majority of them had the personality of a mudflap. Just my opinion... Laurynn I pretty much agree with Laurynn, except that I would add chemistry to that list. You may despise them as a person, but sometimes it doesn't stop you from doing their brains out...if that combines with shared interests, views, spirituality, etc., that could certainly appear to have all the trappings of love, and even the POTENTIAL of love, but, no, plants only thrive when nurtured and cared for. Nothing blooms completely on the spot, and why would we want it to? Just my opinion as well... Fishbulb Link to post Share on other sites
rook Posted February 13, 2001 Share Posted February 13, 2001 of course it does most of the time i do believe it is merely infatuation but if you think with your heart and explore all the things that you feel instead of listening to the dumb stick then I think it does happen of course physical atraction is a big part of it but if you follow your heart you'll never go wrong there is of course the possibility of getting hurt but true love does exist and love at first sight is real it has to be as ally mcbeal said (sort of) i believe it i have to believe it even if i go to bed alone because that's what keeps me going I need to know what people think about love at first sight. Everyone who is with someone that they love, was it love at first sight or did the feeling of love come while getting to know the person you were spending time with? A friend of mine was dating a very nice girl who he got along with great, but he walked away from her because he said that his heart didn't "stop" when he looked in her eyes. When they first got together he called her everyday and seen her almost everyday so I tend to think that there was some kind of flutter in his heart when he would see or talk to her. She cared very much about him and I think he became afraid that she would be expecting a commitment. Could it be possible that's what happened? I know there are some lucky people who meet someone and it is love at first sight but I think that is the exception and not the rule. Any advice on this subject would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
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