Thegreatestthing Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 I've had this problem before,but this guy gets home at 11:30pm or so and will talk to me for awhile then say I'm going yo bed,I thought if he's really interested he,ll stay up for at least an hour ,but then maybe he's tired from work ,when he gets home it's the only time to talk due to time zones even if it's 11:30pm. Anyway I told him off about it last night and he said "We are past the stay up late stage in our relationship" what does that mean,I think it means I'm just not that into you. Link to post Share on other sites
rewl Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 He's clearly not that into you. He comes home at midnight very tired from working all day and he refuses to spend at least an hour fighting his sleep to talk to the benevolent, perfect and praiseworthy princess, for whom sleep must always be missed. 16 Link to post Share on other sites
R3d Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Are you serious? This shouldn't even be a question. If you come hom from work at midnight, you are going to be sleepy as ****. Yes occasionally, you would be willing to fight through the sleepiness to talk to him, but once you two are used to each other and out of the honeymoon phase, would you still continue to do the same? I doubt it. I speculate that you would probably want to make arrangements to see if you can talk to him some other time when you aren't as sleepy. Essentially, what he's telling you is this isn't the honeymoon phase anymore. It's no longer infatuation where you are always like, "OMG, I won't sleep for a minute so I can talk to him/her." Give him a break woman. I doubt you would want to stay up not occasionally but on a regular basis sleepy as **** just because you HAVE to talk to him like it's a chore of some sort. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Eivuwan Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 I've had this problem before,but this guy gets home at 11:30pm or so and will talk to me for awhile then say I'm going yo bed,I thought if he's really interested he,ll stay up for at least an hour ,but then maybe he's tired from work ,when he gets home it's the only time to talk due to time zones even if it's 11:30pm. Anyway I told him off about it last night and he said "We are past the stay up late stage in our relationship" what does that mean,I think it means I'm just not that into you. Just let this one go. It's pretty hard to work things out when the schedules are that different. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thegreatestthing Posted July 25, 2014 Author Share Posted July 25, 2014 He shows he's very interested and understanding in every way but this staying up thing.i don't know if I'd stay up after work probably to talk to him I would. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 I had an 8 hr time difference with my ex. He'd wake up half an hour earlier than normally and I'd go to bed half an hour later. We didn't need to talk for hours during the week. Just to touch base and hear the sound of each others voice. Tell him you'd just like to hear his voice for a minute and wish him goodnight every other night at least. Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Why can't you talk during healthy hours? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CharlieFox Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 He shows he's very interested and understanding in every way... Then what's the problem?.. i don't know if I'd stay up after work probably to talk to him I would. It seems to me you're making a big deal out of nothing. Sleep is important, besides, if he's sleepy, he might not be a good chatting company as you'd like to believe. He's understanding in every way you say, well then you should try and respond with the same and be understanding towards him as well. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Come on, OP. Really? He's tired and you expect him to stay awake and chat with you? You're being too demanding and unreasonable. If he's great in other ways, learn to appreciate it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
iiiii Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Can't you wake up super early to chat with him before he goes to work? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lernaean_Hydra Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 (edited) I work very odd, very late hours so my sleep is very important to me, therefore I don't care how much I like the guy, I'm not losing an hour of it just so I sit on the phone and talk about pointless BS. Sorry OP but you're in the wrong here and your BF is right. You're past the point where one might feel they must sacrifice however many hours of rest or down time in order to talk to someone they like. It doesn't necessarily mean he likes you any less. It just means he's got his head on straight. Quite frankly, I'd be put off by a guy who worked till midnight and then, despite his lack of sleep forced himself to stay awake for me. Trust me, I have quite a high opinion of myself and I still don't think I'm so great/beautiful/good in bed/etc that someone should risk being less productive at work the next day just to have a chat with me in the middle of the night because I'm bored. Edited July 25, 2014 by Lernaean_Hydra 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CharlieFox Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Sleep is a very important matter for me, and I think nowadays a lot of people really disregard the importance of it. Even though I am very serious about getting enough sleep because I'm into the healthy lifestyle, I too am guilty sometimes of staying up late and doing pointless stuff when I should really be getting more sleep. Not to say talking to your loved one is pointless of course, but for some people even the smallest thing can take away a significant portion of their sleeping time. So if anything, I wouldn't need more reasons to stay up late, and if he's a busy man, I totally understand him. Link to post Share on other sites
aprilisi Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 You must have never worked long or late hours. Somedays I don't get home til after 8pm and I'm exhausted. The man I'm talking to is up past midnigt and will sometimes message me. He doesn't expect me to stay up for him. He shows interest in wanting to speak to you. If he wasn't interested he woulldn't bother. I know I, and most other women hate hearing this, but calm down. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thegreatestthing Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 I think I understand a bit better that he is just exhausted he is working two jobs till 11pm -12pm every night to pay for a year in Europe, when he gets home he is exhausted ,tonight he said hello talked a bit then said miss you that was it. In a few weeks time he will not be working should I hold out till them to see if he changes,or really is it "we make time for those we care about" even when working non stop till 12pm every day of the week. He says he misses me so it's not like he doesn't want to talk to me. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 How often do you seem him in person? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thegreatestthing Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 I don't it's long distance Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 I don't it's long distance Have you ever met him...? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 Eh this issue speaks more about your feelings toward him than his feelings toward you... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 I don't it's long distance Somehow I missed that point. You should have posted this thread in the Long Distance section or clearly mentioned that it was long distance in title or opening. Either way, you're in a LDR with a guy you can never talk to. Why are you still with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 If youre like this now, this guy is in for some super nagging when you guys get together. Please, break it off so this guy can dodge the bullet 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 I In a few weeks time he will not be working should I hold out till them to see if he changes,or really is it "we make time for those we care about" even when working non stop till 12pm every day of the week. He is already making time for you if he's calling you when he gets back at 11.30pm everyday. That is a huge deal, and you're being quite selfish expecting him to sacrifice 30 minutes of sleep everyday to prove that he's 'into you'. If this isn't working for you, then by all means leave, but don't pin the blame solely on him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thegreatestthing Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 Yes he said today we need to talk earlier in the day but I would need to get up earlier, but if I won't get up at 1am 2am to talk I can't expect him to stay up past 12 I suppose . Link to post Share on other sites
Tbisb74 Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Your sense of entitlement is nothing short of breath-taking..... Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 This thread is next level bonkers. "So this guy decides he wants to do a basic and fundamental function of life after working two jobs, so, he must be a jerk because he won't delay that to talk to me, right?" OP, get it together. The more you nag him, the more he'll shift his playing field into other women's direction. Let a man breathe. Link to post Share on other sites
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