Is he trying to make me jealous?

[Ashley S]

Hi! I have this friend who is a guy, and well we were really close but he would flip flop with me. I am forcing myself to cut him out of my life, I don't want to do it, but I know I have to. I don't like how he doesn't contact me for months..then he'll see me and act like everything's fine, and we are best buds, when he can't even call or text me in those months he is not around me, so I just think it's best to cut all contact.

 

Out of the blue, he contacts my father to ask him if he has a job for him to do for his day off, and my dad says to him "Ashley is with me, let me call you back cause she has to drive me to pick up material" So then my dad calls him back an hour later and they are just chatting, and then he says "Yeah I sent Ryan (my brother) a pic of this hot girl I am going out with yeah she's real hot!" He is not even close with my brother, he is more close to me, so why would he send my brother a pic of the girl? And tell my dad about it? Is he trying to make jealous? If so for what reason would it most likely be? I just don't get it.

[todreaminblue]

dont hold on to a guy who plays games.......dont hold onto a guy who doesnt bother to contact you unless he wants something from you and ignores you every other time.....they are not mature and childish games are not for a woman to play......be the woman....and walk away...

 

 

 

if he stops the games and treats you how a woman should be treated then forgive him and reconnect, see where it goes and dont hold onto the past if he seems to have changed his ways, otherwise let him go....its not easy when you have feelings ...but sometimes what is necessary hurts...you are wasting time when you could be fidnign soemone who doesnt play games and treats you right ....and time is a gift we have dont waste it or let him take it from you......take back control.......deb

[ExpatInItaly]

He's a weirdo with zero social skills. Stay away. And ask your brother and dad not to give you updates on his weirdness.

[Ashley S]

Hi! I have this friend who is a guy, and well we were really close but he would flip flop with me. I am forcing myself to cut him out of my life, I don't want to do it, but I know I have to. I don't like how he doesn't contact me for months..then he'll see me and act like everything's fine, and we are best buds, when he can't even call or text me in those months he is not around me, so I just think it's best to cut all contact.

 

Out of the blue, he contacts my father to ask him if he has a job for him to do for his day off, and my dad says to him "Ashley is with me, let me call you back cause she has to drive me to pick up material" So then my dad calls him back an hour later and they are just chatting, and then he says "Yeah I sent Ryan (my brother) a pic of this hot girl I am going out with yeah she's real hot!" I noticed he said that on the second call, when he knew my dad was with me. He is not even close with my brother, he is more close to me, so why would he send my brother a pic of the girl? And tell my dad about it? Also he works full time and gets a good pay, I don't understand on his day off why he would want to work more? He doesn't have major expenses and he gets a great pay with the other job lol. Is he trying to make me jealous? If so for what reason would it most likely be? I am not considering this cute or funny, and I am actually despising him more for doing this. I want to know more reasons why someone would act this way and do this? And what are they aiming for? If someone could give me the possible reasons why that would be great! But what do you think? Do you think he is trying to make me jealous? Thanks in an advance.

[Ashley S]

dont hold on to a guy who plays games.......dont hold onto a guy who doesnt bother to contact you unless he wants something from you and ignores you every other time.....they are not mature and childish games are not for a woman to play......be the woman....and walk away...

 

 

 

if he stops the games and treats you how a woman should be treated then forgive him and reconnect, see where it goes and dont hold onto the past if he seems to have changed his ways, otherwise let him go....its not easy when you have feelings ...but sometimes what is necessary hurts...you are wasting time when you could be fidnign soemone who doesnt play games and treats you right ....and time is a gift we have dont waste it or let him take it from you......take back control.......deb

 

I am letting him go....it's not what I want but I know that's what I have to do. I just don't understand when he works full time and has a good pay that on his day off he would want to work for my father or do landscaping around the house? Lol, I work full time and I cherish the days off so that is hard for my head to wrap around. Then he messages my brother whom he knows but I was closer to him than my brother and sends him pics of this girl, it's like what are you trying to prove? I am more curious about the behavior than him. I am despising him more actually cause of this. I just don't understand why guys do this, and I am using my situation as an example. I don't get why he would try and make me jealous, or maybe not. Who knows. I appreciate your words of wisdom, you made a lot fo good points, friend But honestly, I am just more interested in the reason why guys do this more than him. I am actually really mad lol. Thank you.

[Ashley S]

He's a weirdo with zero social skills. Stay away. And ask your brother and dad not to give you updates on his weirdness.

 

Yes! Agreed.

[Assasda]

Sounds like youre even more attracted to him thatn you were before.

 

With all the months that he hasnt contacted you, why havent you contacted him?

[Zeurich]

you could also call and see how he was doing, and for sure he become a popular with your family member sometime it happen.

[Ashley S]

Sounds like youre even more attracted to him thatn you were before.

 

With all the months that he hasnt contacted you, why havent you contacted him?

 

Because I have before and he would respond to me but act very disinterested, and then months pass and he's blowing up my phone non stop and wanting to hang out with me. I was sick of it. I am not liking him, I am despising him more, but I am just using this as an example, I just really don't know why a guy would do that? Is it to try and make me mad? Peak my interest? I am more curious about that. Thanks.

[HappyLove]

He's just your typical immature jerk. Not worth thinking twice about really.

[Ashley S]

He's just your typical immature jerk. Not worth thinking twice about really.

 

I understand. I just want to know opinions on what he was trying to prove? I know he's a jerk, but I am more curious about the behavior than him. Thank you.

[smackie9]

I'm guessing you have friend zoned him right? You have no romantic feelings for him, just an emotional attachment? Girls like you are so oblivious. When a guy is your "best bud" he actually wants you bad. He's not an immature jerk, your friend is a spineless twit, trying jealousy tactics, push and the pull away hoping you will fall head over heels for him. He has no ballzzzzz to ask you out on a date, or express that he would like a romantic relationship with you.

 

If you are an attractive girl, that is the only reason guys are friends with you....to get closer to you, they have a sexual/romantic motivation.

 

Once they can't handle it anymore, and their feelings for you are ready to explode they get more desperate and start acting all weird.

[smackie9]

To add even if you turn them down, they pretend they don't care but deep down they keep hope and start obsessing over you even more. They spin ideas in their head on what would be the best way to turn that around. The boards are full of lonesome losers with stories like these.

 

It's best to cut this guy loose if you have no romantic interest in him.

[Ashley S]

I'm guessing you have friend zoned him right? You have no romantic feelings for him, just an emotional attachment? Girls like you are so oblivious. When a guy is your "best bud" he actually wants you bad. He's not an immature jerk, your friend is a spineless twit, trying jealousy tactics, push and the pull away hoping you will fall head over heels for him. He has no ballzzzzz to ask you out on a date, or express that he would like a romantic relationship with you.

 

If you are an attractive girl, that is the only reason guys are friends with you....to get closer to you, they have a sexual/romantic motivation.

 

Once they can't handle it anymore, and their feelings for you are ready to explode they get more desperate and start acting all weird.

 

According to him I friendzoned him. So I guess I did. I am not oblivious to him and his emotions and feelings towards me, I just never took it seriously cause he is not the serious type I just thought he always thought "Well I'll try with her but oh well if nothing happens" Do you know what I mean? I just thought it wasn't serious. Also If you re-read my post I said I did cut him out, and I am sticking to my guns, but like I said, I am more curious about the behavior and the possible reasons why than him. I despise him more if anything. You are right on a lot of things, and I appreciate you commenting, but I think it's harsh to say "The boards are full of lonesome losers with stories like these" I am not lonesome, my friend, I am merely curious. I don't want him in my life, and I am not desperate to have him in my life. Thank you! You did make some good points, but kinda harsh on the other ones lol.

[Ashley S]

Hello everyone! I just want to make things clear. I did have feelings for him and I still do that is a fact. I am forcing myself to let go, even though I don't want to, but I know I have to. I am despising him more, because it is childish. I am curious about the behavior and the possible reasons why he or any guy would do this. Like what are they trying to accomplish? What are they aiming for when they (or my guy for an example) is doing this? I just want a discussion and some opinions on why guys do this jealousy act on girls or if it even sounds like he's jealous?. I know he is no good, I know to cut him out, and I am sticking to my guns. But nobody is really telling me what guys aim for or what they try to accomplish, or if it does sound like he's jealous......any opinions? We all know he's a jerk lol! Thank you!

[CharlieFox]

Hello everyone! I just want to make things clear. I did have feelings for him and I still do that is a fact.

 

Haha... When I read your previous posts seeing how often you repeat that you don't actually care for him and just want to know why this and that in guys, I was thinking more and more that you, after all, did have feelings for him.

 

Are you sure you're not also trying to get him back in your life, despite saying you don't want him?

 

I'm not saying you should of course, but you need to make it clear what exactly is you're trying to do. Apart from getting more knowledgeable about guys being jerks and what they try to accomplish with this kind of behavior.

[JDPT]

Kids

(ten characters)

[Ashley S]

Haha... When I read your previous posts seeing how often you repeat that you don't actually care for him and just want to know why this and that in guys, I was thinking more and more that you, after all, did have feelings for him.

 

Are you sure you're not also trying to get him back in your life, despite saying you don't want him?

 

I'm not saying you should of course, but you need to make it clear what exactly is you're trying to do. Apart from getting more knowledgeable about guys being jerks and what they try to accomplish with this kind of behavior.

 

What previous posts? I only made one post before this one. And I do have feelings for him....yes..but I know what I have to do. I am just merely curious of the behavior. Just like how one could be curious about serial killers and rapists and how their mindset is etc. You don't like serial killers but you are interested in the Psychology of it. Same scenario with me. I am interested in the behavior of jealousy and why one does it to a girl etc etc. I am just using my story as an example of someone who is trying to make me jealous or at least that is how I perceive it. I guess you can't have multiple opinions on why some guys will do this, cause everyone goes off topic and says something irrelevant to the post. We all know h's a jerk, ok. But I am more interested in the jealousy. Geez. How any more times do I have to say it? It's getting to be frustrating!

[CharlieFox]

What previous posts? I only made one post before this one. And I do have feelings for him....yes..but I know what I have to do. I am just merely curious of the behavior. Just like how one could be curious about serial killers and rapists and how their mindset is etc. You don't like serial killers but you are interested in the Psychology of it. Same scenario with me. I am interested in the behavior of jealousy and why one does it to a girl etc etc. I am just using my story as an example of someone who is trying to make me jealous or at least that is how I perceive it. I guess you can't have multiple opinions on why some guys will do this, cause everyone goes off topic and says something irrelevant to the post. We all know h's a jerk, ok. But I am more interested in the jealousy. Geez. How any more times do I have to say it? It's getting to be frustrating!

 

If you're truly curious and interested in jealousy, why don't you find and read specialized literature from people who actually study professionally this area, instead of going to a dating forum?

 

People already stated their opinion on what happened most likely, and it's really simple - you friendzoned him, he got hurt, now he wants to make you jealous. Haven't you seen or heard that happen before anywhere? It's really common. There's nothing more to it that anyone can say without knowing the guy and the actual reason why he's doing it. And by the looks of it, it seems he succeeded in making you jealous.

[smackie9]

According to him I friendzoned him. So I guess I did. I am not oblivious to him and his emotions and feelings towards me, I just never took it seriously cause he is not the serious type I just thought he always thought "Well I'll try with her but oh well if nothing happens" Do you know what I mean? I just thought it wasn't serious. Also If you re-read my post I said I did cut him out, and I am sticking to my guns, but like I said, I am more curious about the behavior and the possible reasons why than him. I despise him more if anything. You are right on a lot of things, and I appreciate you commenting, but I think it's harsh to say "The boards are full of lonesome losers with stories like these" I am not lonesome, my friend, I am merely curious. I don't want him in my life, and I am not desperate to have him in my life. Thank you! You did make some good points, but kinda harsh on the other ones lol.

 

The lonesome losers I was referring to are, THE GUYS that are friend zoned and refuse to let go. I meant him being desperate NOT YOU. Oblivious to the nature of a guys feelings yes. Tip:guys don't invest so much of their time in a girl unless he has a strong romantic interest. All those times he stopped talking to you was him trying to forget about you, get you out of his mind. But weak as these guys can get they come back and try again or see if there is any change in you. That's why he came back blowin up the phone, or trying to get you jealous, it's to see if you have feelings for him.

 

He's just gonna go around thinking you played him, that you led him on. Been in your shoes. I wish I knew then what I know now.

[Ashley S]

If you're truly curious and interested in jealousy, why don't you find and read specialized literature from people who actually study professionally this area, instead of going to a dating forum?

 

People already stated their opinion on what happened most likely, and it's really simple - you friendzoned him, he got hurt, now he wants to make you jealous. Haven't you seen or heard that happen before anywhere? It's really common. There's nothing more to it that anyone can say without knowing the guy and the actual reason why he's doing it. And by the looks of it, it seems he succeeded in making you jealous.

 

Right! Understandable! What forums should I go to then? Cause all that seemed to pop up was love advice forums, so I didn't know really where to post. Thank you.

[Ashley S]

The lonesome losers I was referring to are, THE GUYS that are friend zoned and refuse to let go. I meant him being desperate NOT YOU. Oblivious to the nature of a guys feelings yes. Tip:guys don't invest so much of their time in a girl unless he has a strong romantic interest. All those times he stopped talking to you was him trying to forget about you, get you out of his mind. But weak as these guys can get they come back and try again or see if there is any change in you. That's why he came back blowin up the phone, or trying to get you jealous, it's to see if you have feelings for him.

 

He's just gonna go around thinking you played him, that you led him on. Been in your shoes. I wish I knew then what I know now.

 

Sorry for the misunderstanding smackie9. You have really good points! I agree with you! I see what you mean, and you are so right! You seemed to be very smart and aware of guys and their behaviors, that is a very good quality to have! Thank you!

[ExpatInItaly]

I am letting him go....it's not what I want but I know that's what I have to do. I just don't understand when he works full time and has a good pay that on his day off he would want to work for my father or do landscaping around the house? Lol, I work full time and I cherish the days off so that is hard for my head to wrap around. Then he messages my brother whom he knows but I was closer to him than my brother and sends him pics of this girl, it's like what are you trying to prove? I am more curious about the behavior than him. I am despising him more actually cause of this. I just don't understand why guys do this, and I am using my situation as an example. I don't get why he would try and make me jealous, or maybe not. Who knows. I appreciate your words of wisdom, you made a lot fo good points, friend But honestly, I am just more interested in the reason why guys do this more than him. I am actually really mad lol. Thank you.

 

You're wasting your energy trying to understand. You're wasting your emotions being angry. Sounds as though you have a soft spot for him and hope his behaviour indicates that he's trying to make you jealous because he's into you - but girl, guys that are seriously interested don't behave this way. Guys who are immature and like an ego boost do. You don't want the latter. Waste of your time.

[smackie9]

Sorry for the misunderstanding smackie9. You have really good points! I agree with you! I see what you mean, and you are so right! You seemed to be very smart and aware of guys and their behaviors, that is a very good quality to have! Thank you!

 

TY! They may blame us for them falling for us, but it's all them, so don't let the guy get away with their jerk behavior. You did the right thing by cutting him off. His loss. Best of luck Ashley, I hope you won't have to deal with someone like him again.

[anika99]

I am confused. You say he is a guy you are friends with, but is he a friend or is he a romantic interest? If he is a romantic interest then you should know that he isn't into you just by the mere fact that he can go months without any contact with you. If you are hoping for something more with this guy then you are wasting your time.

 

 

If he is simply a friend then I don't know what you are upset about. I have friends that I sometimes can go weeks or even a couple of months without contact but our friendship is never in question. Also If you consider him just a friend and he considers you just a friend, then I don't think sending your brother a message about a hot girl was an attempt to make you jealous, it was just guy talk. If you are seriously friends then why would you be angry about that? You have given him the impression that you two are buds and now you despise him because he's talking about hot chicks with your brother. That doesn't sound reasonable.