What do you do when you have lost patience with single women?

[joystickd]

I am also having a bit of a problem understanding your situation... you have been successful at getting into various fwb and casual situations with married/taken women, but when you try and actually date someone it doesn't develop and after several months they fade? And it's always the woman who starts pulling away and ends it, right? And in these dating scenarios are you having sex or postponing it for months to try and establish a serious relationship first? Do you demonstrate sexual interest or keep it friendly and platonic at first?

 

So the thing that strikes me as odd is that you seem to have no problem in the sex appeal department since you can get women to go for casual arrangements, and you have no trouble getting women to date you for several months, yet you don't seem to be able to integrate the two in a meaningful way. It's entirely possible that you simply haven't met the right one, or perhaps as your friends suggest, that you're focusing on inappropriate types (not that I like labeling people as types).

 

Ive been out for a while today and did a lot of thinking I think I have an idea why. If I have to wait for sex I kind of shut down and I become hard to really get to know. If I meet a woman and it's a casual thing and I have sex I find its so much easier to do the whole emotional intimacy thing after the sex. It has to do with me being burned so many times. I know I know we all get burned.

 

I will give some background about me. I never dated until 25. I spent most of the time up until then trying constantly to talk to women of my same race. I'm Black by the way lol. Horrible rejections I remember spending middle school basically being seen as a weirdo by girls the same race as me. High school I tried and same thing. I went to an HBCU and it was the same but the rejections sometimes were to the point I had groups of people laughing at me. Friends and family questioned if I was gay. I graduated and started working at Wal-Mart. I really had time to sit and think and the only conclusion at that time was to change my situation stop talking to Black women. I think by that time I had dealt with so much that they are totally not attractive to me. I watch porn with Black women and don't even get hard. Hallie Berry does nothing for me. I feel nothing. I met a married woman (she was white) there and lost my virginity. I lied about being a virgin. She was a misandrist. Its a strong word but as of now she is a lesbian and has stated that for years she hated the feeling of a penis inside her. She talked about wanting me and wanting a future. I went along with it because hell I never had any woman show interest in me. I ended up taking being publicly humiliated and verbally abused. I left the job and decided to move on and met women one after the other but they never panned out. Then finally I met one and we talked for months and became exclusive no sex I might add. We did have an issue with the married woman that took my viginity talking to her but that blew over. It kept going well and I got to the point where I was considering marrying her. One day we were supposed to meet and she didn't show up. I asked and she said she had to be there for a friend. I got the feeling she was lying. She got drunk and called me so I asked her. She stated that she had been seeing a married man for a while. I hung up and she called me the next morning hung over. I cussed her out right after she said she had a headache and said it was over. It was a rough time I got laid off, she cheats on me and this married woman that took my virginity is still giving me crap. I avoided all of that and went back to be a nurse. I tried some counseling and they said I was burned out from dating. I stopped because bringing back up a lot of the things that happened brought so much anger to me. I didn't date or try to for 2 years. I started back in 2011. It ended up being trying to date while having casual flings with coworkers. Now i'm at this point.