Damionm Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 My girlfriend and I have been together for a year and a half now. Just recently I caught her looking at the "women seeking men" section in Craigslist. She told me she clicked it by accident which is understandable, but once you click on that it leads you to another page which asks you for conformation of clicking that section. That to was also selected. When it is clicked on it changes a different color. We do love each other very much and have had our ups and downs as does any relationship. But the catch here is that we're both moving to a new city and that cities name was the one she clicked on Craigslist to look at "women seeking men". I did see this same scenario about a month before, but never questioned her about it. Now I see it a second time and my suspicions are growing greater. I love her with all my life and we plan to get married one day. I have had ex girlfriends do this crap in the past to me, so it really makes me nervous seeing her do it now. Should I wait to see what she does next or just let this all fade behind me? Please help me. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 I would wait and watch. Sometimes people get curious and they look to see what kind of people would be posting in there. Doesn't mean they're going to do anything. It could be a means to satisfy a curiosity. So, keep and eye out and look for an red flags. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Candy_Pants Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 I'd be suspicious at the very least and put a keylogger on her computer/phone. Ignoring it all together seems incredibly foolish. And potentially dangerous since STDs are a real problem. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Apparently YOU are the only one who wants to get married someday. She did it once, and now twice? Yeah. That was NOT a mistake. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 She told me she clicked it by accident which is understandable, Really? Understandable? I go on Craigslist sometimes to look for antiques and there's a separate section that says "Personals". There's no way you accidentally scroll through the forums on Personals, then click Women Interested in Men and then confirm you're above 18 to get in. So, three "accidental" steps? Second time she's doing it. Too much curiosity. And no, you don't play stupid and pretend nothing is happening when something is happening. Put a keylogger on that computer. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Damionm Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 That's what I thought as well. What if I can't put a key logger on her computer? What steps do you think I should take next? Thanks for your response Link to post Share on other sites
Author Damionm Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 She does mostly go on her iPad to do it so it seemed understandable to me if she accidentally clicked it is what I meant. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Ive looked thu there out of curiosity before you can actually get a good laugh at some of the posts but in no way do I think one could land in there on accident there's to many clicks even for an iPad I think you should be weary im sorry.. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Damionm Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 Thanks for the response. I hate this because I'm moving to the city with her, but won't be living in the apartment with for a while. So now I'm scared because I won't know what will be going on because she will be there all alone. I do trust her, but this is something I told her that I don't feel comfortable with. She told me that if she would cheat on me that she would tell me before hand. I call BS on that because I've never seen a woman keep that promise before. I'm thinking about just to keep looking at her iPad when she is away from it and see if she is still looking at that stuff. Does anyone know of what signs I should look for if she is cheating on me? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 She told me that if she would cheat on me that she would tell me before hand. I call BS on that because I've never seen a woman keep that promise before. I've been with two cheaters. This is a normal response. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Damionm Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 Damn. I'm at a loss here everyone. Thank you for all your responses. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who has been through this. Should I talk with her more about this or just let it be for awhile and see what she does? What did you do Zahara? Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 I am very addicted to reading the insanly crazy desperate ads on criaglist I never reply to them everyone on Craigslist is looking for sex but sometimes the ads are just hilariously desperate and sick I love going to read them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Damn. I'm at a loss here everyone. Thank you for all your responses. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who has been through this. Should I talk with her more about this or just let it be for awhile and see what she does? What did you do Zahara? The signs I got from my experiences were irritation, detachment, moodiness, being secretive, gaslighting. I didn't know at the time that it could be based on him cheating. Sometimes he would get more affectionate and loving to throw me off the scent. I didn't have proof but I knew something was up as it just seemed odd. The first cheater I forgave and when he came back the second time and I caught him again, he denied and said, "If I were going to cheat on you, I'd tell you." He got the boot. Second cheater said the same thing when I caught him talking to a girl and exchanging phone numbers and he got the boot. I think when the signs are there, it's there for a reason. Imagine a good relationship -- I can think of my first. There were never any doubts, no sneaking around, no distractions -- the thought of cheating never even crossed an inch of my mind. The ones where I was being cheated on, there were signs, doubts, bells ringing, instincts going off, uneasiness, questions, etc. It's there for a reason. Accidentally -- once, ok. This is twice. Sit back and see what she does. Don't say anything yet because if you do, she'll hide her tracks with even more care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Damionm Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 Thank you so much for advice! I really do appreciate it. I'm sorry to hear this has happened to you as well. I'll take your advice and see what happens. I never think about cheating on her, not once. It hurts to know that she may be thinking about cheating on me. I'm quitting my job just for her so we can start a life together. I asked her to not look at that stuff anymore. Hopefully she respects my request. She does have a laptop, though. Should I look on there as well if she is doing it on there as well? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Thank you so much for advice! I really do appreciate it. I'm sorry to hear this has happened to you as well. I'll take your advice and see what happens. I never think about cheating on her, not once. It hurts to know that she may be thinking about cheating on me. I'm quitting my job just for her so we can start a life together. I asked her to not look at that stuff anymore. Hopefully she respects my request. She does have a laptop, though. Should I look on there as well if she is doing it on there as well? Yes, if I were you, I'd look and see if there is any activity, especially since you've requested that she stop. It's one thing to snoop when you have no reason to do so but when you have proof that something is not right, by all means, check and double check. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Damionm Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 Ok, I will do that. I hope I don't find anything. Wish me luck. If I do find something and she is still on Craigslist what should I do? Should I confront her or still wait and see if she actually meets the guy when we move so I can catch her in the act? She does buy things off of Craigslist from people around my town which I told her it worries me because there are crazy people out there who could easily take advantage of her. I'm just scared and worried. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Ok, I will do that. I hope I don't find anything. Wish me luck. If I do find something and she is still on Craigslist what should I do? Should I confront her or still wait and see if she actually meets the guy when we move so I can catch her in the act? She does buy things off of Craigslist from people around my town which I told her it worries me because there are crazy people out there who could easily take advantage of her. I'm just scared and worried. I think if you do find her on there again, then that would mean that she went against her word to you when she said she wouldn't. That would be a red flag for me because when in a relationship you want to secure it, not sabotage it. Just wait and see for now and keep your feelers up. You'll cross that bridge when you get there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Damionm Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 Thank you. I'll keep you all updated on what she does. Subscribe to my thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Thank you. I'll keep you all updated on what she does. Subscribe to my thread. Good luck Damion. I'll keep my fingers crossed. I'll subscribe Link to post Share on other sites
Author Damionm Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 Hey everyone, I'd like to go give you an update on what's been going on. I talked to her yesterday and she said that she will never cheat on me and is afraid of loosing me to this assumption. She says she loves me so much and that I'm the only man she wants in her life. I felt better about that, but I didn't bring up the Craigslist situation which has been bothering me the most. Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I am very addicted to reading the insanly crazy desperate ads on criaglist I never reply to them everyone on Craigslist is looking for sex but sometimes the ads are just hilariously desperate and sick I love going to read them. ME TOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought I was strange for sitting there scrolling and laughing! some of them are really obvious that these people are sick Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Hey everyone, I'd like to go give you an update on what's been going on. I talked to her yesterday and she said that she will never cheat on me and is afraid of loosing me to this assumption. She says she loves me so much and that I'm the only man she wants in her life. I felt better about that, but I didn't bring up the Craigslist situation which has been bothering me the most. Well, if you see her repeating it, then it would be time to confront. If going on Craigslist and roaming the personals is breaking a boundary in the relationship, then when it happens again, you confront her and if she respects you and the relationship as she stated, she won't do it again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Damionm Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 Thanks for your help Zahara 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Listen... The problem is not What she did (visiting the dating area), but the fact that she wasn't honest with you. It looks unreasonable for me to assume that she is practically looking for men, now at present, in the other city. But she's curious and if it was innocent she wouldn't hide it from you and lie to you. That's what you should talk to her about. the little lies. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 She says she loves me so much and that I'm the only man she wants in her life. And why was she looking into Craigslist then? Just be on your guard. Words mean nothing. I could write you a testimony of my undying love to you as well and it wouldn't mean a thing. Link to post Share on other sites
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