number1 Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 hey how are u all?MY ex called me today after 1month of no cantact she broke up with me cause it was not the same and she was confused plus alot of problems in her life like mom havin cancer no job etx which i understod so i moved on with my life i am doing well hit the gym look and feel sexy about my self but will allways have a place for my ex so today she called me to tell me her mother past way i told her i was very busy than she said all she wanted was 2 min of my time i said ok to it and she said that she was havin a hard time in life and could us my friendship i hate the word friends comein from gf mouth lol...so i am a nice guy and said i am there for her and i will pray for her mom and she said thanks that means alot to her and ppl wat sould i do i love her and want to be there for her but not knowin if she will come back kills me if i have to talk to her thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Beth Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 If you really loved her, as you claim to, you wouldn't be thinking of yourself right at this moment. She just lost her mother! I don't know if you've ever suffered the death of a loved one, but it's not the time to be worrying about relationships or jobs or anything else. She needs the comfort that comes from people who love her -- even if they are just friends. If you don't understand, try reading some grief sites, like 'beyondindigo.com' (which was recommended to me & I found the information quite eye-opening and heart-opening) to try and gain some insight into the grief process. If she's been dealing with her mom having had cancer for a while, and a job crisis then she doesn't need to get embroiled in the demands of a relationship that has already soured. Your feelings do matter, but right now I think her emotional needs should come first. That's part 'being there' for someone. If you have to know right now if she will resume the relationship with you, then tell her that you are just not at a point in your life where you think you CAN be there for her. Honesty, even in a time of pain, is important. At least she'll know where she stands. PS: My husband and I are friends too and sometimes we need the friendship from each other more than the romantic part of the relationship. If you want to be supportive of her as a friend, do simple things to help her. Bring her a meal if she just wants to stay home. Offer to help with her job search---be it sending emails for her or stuffing envelopes and mailing resumes. Help her organize the paperwork for a job search or her personal paperwork. Restoring some kind of order in the home is helpful to those who are in mourning. It's DOING something that helps. I've sorted pens and pencils for hours--trying each pen to see if it worked and putting everything in neat boxes. It may seem silly, but it's all I had the strength to do at the time and it helped. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 Originally posted by number1 hey how are u all?MY ex called me today after 1month of no cantact she broke up with me cause it was not the same and she was confused plus alot of problems in her life so are u at her beck and call NUMBER1?? When she needs you around you will come running? But when she does not need you she'll discard u like a used kleenex? She left you a month ago without regards to your feelings. I think you should look at that closely. Link to post Share on other sites
Author number1 Posted February 24, 2005 Author Share Posted February 24, 2005 Beth thank you for your help it means a lot .I know she does not need a relationship at this point in her life and I am ok with that I am very open minded about that but I really love this girl we went out for 2 years and I am 20 and she is 19 years old I guess all I can do is pick up the phone when she calls and help her out but I will not do the calling if she needs me she know my number Do u think that sounds good? Link to post Share on other sites
Author number1 Posted February 24, 2005 Author Share Posted February 24, 2005 Alphamale I was thinking about what you said its 100% true but things happen for a good reason and the thing is what do I do when she comes running to me cause I talk to here 2 days ago but have not heard from her 2 days now sooo I don’t know.i guess what I can do is not call her and see when she calls. I don’t know what to do ppl thanks for all the help Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 Originally posted by number1 cause I talk to here 2 days ago but have not heard from her 2 days now sooo I don’t know.i guess what I can do is not call her and see when she calls. the above sounds like a good plan of action. help her out but don't go overboard. be courteous but a bit distant. let her contact you and don't go outta your way to contact her. Link to post Share on other sites
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