ChamomileWind Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 (edited) isn't aggressive/violent streaks seen as a negative trait in a man to most women? I don't see many men accepting women with a very high sexual past (some even have that as a total dealbreaker) but yet, I see women excusing a man's violent streak and/or violence towards her as if that was naturally expected in a man sooner or later. IMO a man getting disgusted if he were to find out his wife actually used to work as a prostitue seems just as disgusting as the shock in a wife's face when her man hits her during an argument for the first time and now she can't feel safe anymore. However, while the man in that case scenerio will most likely file for divorce the woman still wants to solve what just happened or even questions if she might have provoked him during the argument. Only few like me and certain others would have actually not only file for divorce but file assault charges against him. Both scenerios are slightly similar in that way that you now don't even know why you've been married to nor who they are anymore and you have been misled. Edited July 29, 2014 by ChamomileWind Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Each individual determines what is a deal breaker in his or her eyes. Anyone who knows someone's past and starts/continues to have a relationship with that person has made their choice. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Any woman who excuses a mans violent streak and/or violence towards her is an idiot. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChamomileWind Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 (edited) Each individual determines what is a deal breaker in his or her eyes. Anyone who knows someone's past and starts/continues to have a relationship with that person has made their choice.I understand that but I've noticed more men getting excused and even forgiven for their transgressions towards violence than women for their sexual past or other lesser transgressions. Edited July 29, 2014 by ChamomileWind Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChamomileWind Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 Any woman who excuses a mans violent streak and/or violence towards her is an idiot.This exactly. It really shocks me every time I read stories of another woman trying to even work it out with him afterwards. It really makes me want to throw a bucket of cold water at her and say something like this: Girl that man just hit you, that's about one of the worst thing he can do to a gf/wife he claims to love and care for. He's suppose to care about your well being and you not getting hurt. In what way did he protected you by hitting you? Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 What is your inquiry with the group here? Not sure I am understanding your cause. Care to expand and give light? What are you struggling with ? The generalization that all men are given a free pass for violence doesn't seem fair or objective....and comparing it to promiscuity are separate behaviors issues entirely. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 What is your inquiry with the group here? Not sure I am understanding your cause. Care to expand and give light? What are you struggling with ? The generalization that all men are given a free pass for violence doesn't seem fair or objective....and comparing it to promiscuity are separate behaviors issues entirely. This is kinda what I was thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChamomileWind Posted July 30, 2014 Author Share Posted July 30, 2014 (edited) What is your inquiry with the group here? Not sure I am understanding your cause. Care to expand and give light? What are you struggling with ? The generalization that all men are given a free pass for violence doesn't seem fair or objective....and comparing it to promiscuity are separate behaviors issues entirely.I'm trying to understand why some men can still get away with being violent and the woman aren't that shock enough to report that, walk away and find that so abnormal (I don't care how much love there is but isn't not hitting your gf or wife an important trait and her feeling safe??.... it is to me) the very first time it happens or even if he were just threatening violence. It's like to them hitting or getting threatened isn't classified as one of the worst unacceptable behavior. Many men on the other hand would walk away from a woman with a high sexual past or for much lesser things they tend find as unacceptable. I'm guessing this somehow attracts them: Understanding the Dark Triad ? A General Overview | Illimitable Men Edited July 30, 2014 by ChamomileWind Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 I'm trying to understand why some men can still get away with being violent and the woman aren't that shock enough to report that, walk away and find that so abnormal (I don't care how much love there is but isn't not hitting your gf or wife an important trait and her feeling safe??.... it is to me) the very first time it happens or even if he were just threatening violence. It's like to them hitting or getting threatened isn't classified as one of the worst unacceptable behavior. Many men on the other hand would walk away from a woman with a high sexual past or for much lesser things they tend find as unacceptable. I'm guessing this somehow attracts them: Understanding the Dark Triad ? A General Overview | Illimitable Men I honestly don't know how you can compare the two. Are you here to start gender wars? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChamomileWind Posted July 30, 2014 Author Share Posted July 30, 2014 (edited) I honestly don't know how you can compare the two. Are you here to start gender wars?Both aren't positive qualities. Secondly, I didn't write the article. Lastly, there might be some truth in the article that associates why those particular women would stay with an abuser. It just seems that it's the guy that gets more excused for misdeeds and transgressions in a relationship or marriage (violence is one of them). Well this is the impression I get online, hopefully in real life less accepts unwanted behaviors. Edited July 30, 2014 by ChamomileWind 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lernaean_Hydra Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Both aren't positive qualities. Secondly, I didn't write the article. It just seems that it's the guy that gets more excused for misdeeds and transgressions in a relationship or marriage (violence is one of them). Well this is the impression I get online, hopefully in real life less accepts unwanted behaviors. Somehow I feel like there are far more men in relationships with women who've had a somewhat 'active' sex life in the past than there are women sticking with men who beat their asses on a regular basis in the present. But, I could be wrong I guess . Not only is your OP false and riddled with logical flaws, it reads like a complex math problem. Like asking why do women receive lighter prison sentences but men are allowed to go topless at the beach calculate the distance of the sun. I mean.what? The two are wholly unrelated. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Both aren't positive qualities. Secondly, I didn't write the article. Lastly, there might be some truth in the article that associates why those particular women would stay with an abuser. It just seems that it's the guy that gets more excused for misdeeds and transgressions in a relationship or marriage (violence is one of them). Well this is the impression I get online, hopefully in real life less accepts unwanted behaviors. That article is a lot of ridiculous mambo jambo. I stopped reading it after a couple of paragraphs. I don't see what good comes off wild accusations and calling people all sorts of names. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 I'm guessing this somehow attracts them: Understanding the Dark Triad ? A General Overview | Illimitable Men I can assure you, that is not what attracts most women. You get the rare case of someone being attracted to a Manson type, but it isn't common. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChamomileWind Posted July 31, 2014 Author Share Posted July 31, 2014 (edited) I can assure you, that is not what attracts most women. You get the rare case of someone being attracted to a Manson type, but it isn't common.Not to most (and hopefully not) but certainly the dysfuctional ones. An extreme example is the girl that married the killer Joran van der Sloot and got pregnant, which I'm assuming she must be seriously damaged. http://edition.cnn.com/2014/07/04/world/americas/peru-van-der-sloot-wedding/ Sometimes it really makes me wonder what goes on in their minds for them to stay with those violent men or even consider that type as bf and/or husband material. Edited July 31, 2014 by ChamomileWind Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 How did you find the dark triad material? The only time i've seen it mentioned here was two months ago, after that boy shot people in Santa Barbara; the poster was basically promoting the serial killer/psychopath lifestyle in order to get women, which is ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 The sad thing is, that there are way too many women who are still with men who have abused them. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChamomileWind Posted July 31, 2014 Author Share Posted July 31, 2014 (edited) The sad thing is, that there are way too many women who are still with men who have abused them.I know and it really gets me wondering what's so great about having a bf or husband she has to fear and endlessly walk on eggshells? I guess feeling safe must not be important to those women. How did you find the dark triad material? The only time i've seen it mentioned here was two months ago, after that boy shot people in Santa Barbara; the poster was basically promoting the serial killer/psychopath lifestyle in order to get women, which is ridiculous.I saw the article once a while ago but only read some part because I was creeped out. Then this brought back to my mind as I was reading about abuse here and when I typed the words dark triad, that's when I saw the article again. I guess my shock is probably because I've never been in an abusive relationship that it intrigues me how can those men still make a gf stay with him. I would be totally shocked the very moment he has to even threatened that he's going to hit me; that would be it for me. Edited July 31, 2014 by ChamomileWind Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 Any woman who excuses a mans violent streak and/or violence towards her is an idiot. i would have to disagree...i am not an idiot..deb 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 i really do feel there si a correlation between women who are abused and that woman having a high sexual count in the past.....and or including prostitution...addictions.....etc.... women who have high sexual counts are often thought of as "unsafe" and men who date them and know their history often use that history against them.....to either include abuse .....or justify abuse towards that woman.....it becomes a cycle of abuse....the two are often correlated and united against women to continue abusive behaviors towards them .....these women are oftenintelligent enough to know it is wrong but emotional maturity is often hampered by the only life they have known....none of the women or myself for that matter are idiots as previously stated by somedude.....and i feel that when you havent been witness to these cyclic situations you dont really understand what it is like or how exactly hard it is to break free....to ignore this ......is disheartening to the women involved to deem them idiots pure ignorance....sorry but its true......its been proven statistically that it takes more than seven times normally for a woman to leave an abusive relationship......deb Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 i would have to disagree...i am not an idiot..deb I'm not sure how to take that, Deb. Have you excused a man's violence towards you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 I'm not sure how to take that, Deb. Have you excused a man's violence towards you? Yeah, I don't know how to respond to her post. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 (edited) I'm not sure how to take that, Deb. Have you excused a man's violence towards you? at the time it happened yes in fact i told everyone it was my fault....i said that i shouldnt have followed him inot th ehouse when i knew he had been drinking rum and was not himself...i followed him into the house and got the worst beating of my life.....if i hadnt followed him and waited till he went to sleep ...i wouldnt have instigated the beating that is what i told the police when they turned up and were urging me to have him charged....and refused to let them take me to hospital or have him charged at that time it was up to me as far as charging goes....laws have changed since then to deal with women who refuse to have men charged for abuse..... i said i was fine.......i convinced them i wasnt as bad as i looked......it was surface only and i would have a bath and be fine.....if i was back then , an idiot, they woudl have taken me....i was not an idiot.....then or now....i was wrong to excuse it plain and simple........deb Edited July 31, 2014 by todreaminblue Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 at the time it happened yes in fact i told everyone it was my fault....i said that i shouldnt have followed him inot th ehouse when i knew he had been drinking rum and was not himself...i followed him into the house and got the worst beating of my life.....if i hadnt followed him and waited till he went to sleep ...i wouldnt have instigated the beating that is what i told the police when they turned up and were urging me to have him charged....and refused to let them take me to hospital or have him charged at that time it was up to me as far as charging goes....laws have changed since then to deal with women who refuse to have men charged for abuse..... i said i was fine.......i convinced them i wasnt as bad as i looked......it was surface only and i would have a bath and be fine.....if i was back then , an idiot, they woudl have taken me....i was not an idiot.....then or now....i was wrong to excuse it plain and simple........deb I'm very sorry, Deb. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 I'm very sorry, Deb. he was sorry too gorilla theatre........once he was sober.......he never hit me again...i was with him for fifteen years.......deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 at the time it happened yes in fact i told everyone it was my fault....i said that i shouldnt have followed him inot th ehouse when i knew he had been drinking rum and was not himself...i followed him into the house and got the worst beating of my life.....if i hadnt followed him and waited till he went to sleep ...i wouldnt have instigated the beating that is what i told the police when they turned up and were urging me to have him charged....and refused to let them take me to hospital or have him charged at that time it was up to me as far as charging goes....laws have changed since then to deal with women who refuse to have men charged for abuse..... i said i was fine.......i convinced them i wasnt as bad as i looked......it was surface only and i would have a bath and be fine.....if i was back then , an idiot, they woudl have taken me....i was not an idiot.....then or now....i was wrong to excuse it plain and simple........deb Why did you stick around after it happened? Why did you refuse to have him charged? Why did you refuse to go to the hospital? You were an example of why the laws have changed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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