Exhausted but not Sleeping

[Bittersweetie]

I have a toddler and am very, very tired. Yet I'm finding that often I wake up in the night and cannot go back to sleep. This would happen to me occasionally before the baby (1-2x a month for years) but it didn't bother me as much because I would make up that sleep on the weekend. I would just get up and read for a while. However sleeping in on the weekends are no longer an option...I need solid sleep every night.

 

I make an effort to think of only calming things, counting, or such when trying to go back to sleep. And usually 2-3x a week I do sleep well, through the night. But it's those other nights that are driving me bonkers.

 

My son sleeps ten hours a night; I go to bed 1-2 hours after him. I've always needed about 8 hours of sleep. I drink caffeine but rarely after noon. I eat regularly and am taking a vitamin. My H does snore and sometimes that is an issue for me, but it has been for 15+ years. I'm not sure what's changed in the past six months.

 

Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated. I just want to sleep!

[Thruster]

get tired!!!!!!!!!!!

 

it works

 

exercise -- not getting heart rate up

 

lifting - weather it is weights - laundry baskets - etc.

 

I like the exercise part -- well just because

 

1: you will feel good for doing an exercise

2: you will want to pass the heck out

 

do not -- do stepper - cardio (bad for night sleep)

ask hubby if he was a gym rat -- deadlifts - squats with db

 

nuts -- but 15min heavy lifting and you will be counting sheep in no time

[PegNosePete]

Have you tried some soft music playing while you try to sleep? That helped me a lot. Preferably something instrumental/classical, but Pink Floyd, Coldplay and even INXS worked for me.

[LuckyLady13]

I'm curious about this too because I had the opposite reaction to what Thruster suggested. The more I work out (love weightlifting) or the more I worked (at one point 3 jobs), the harder it was to sleep. I gave up eventually and talked to my doctor and he gave me an old school sleeping pill and I take one every night now (and have for about a year) and sleep like a normal person.

 

Bittersweetie, you've got a toddler but is this your first and only child? I ask because I don't have kids but I'm pretty sure I've heard a lot of parents say they can't sleep with a toddler to take care of. Parents, correct me if I'm wrong. Overexhaustion?

[GorillaTheater]

I don't usually share that problem, but I've heard very good things about melatonin supplements. It's a natural hormone and about as safe as they come, although I understand that if you're nursing, it would be wise to run it by your doctor first.

[learning_slowly]

Wow, checkout the side effects of the sleeping pills. I went through a patch of insomnia and got some. But after reading the label, I tried no caffeine, no late night lights etc and that helped me.

[Bittersweetie]

Thanks all for the suggestions. I don't think lack of exercise is an issue...I have a toddler! All I do all day is run around after him. Before the baby, I was active and did work out regularly, but had an office job...I wonder if maybe I'm too active?

 

Sleeping pills are out because I need to be "on" if my son wakes up in the night for some reason. It's rare, but does happen.

 

I do have a noise machine that I've used for years.

 

I'll look into the melatonin.

 

I think I'm going to try to be more alert in regards to what I eat and drink the afternoons/nights before this happens. Maybe it's related to something like that.

 

Thanks again!

[LuckyLady13]

I should have said I do not at all recommend sleeping pills unless it's a last resort! I tried the newer prescription stuff first and not only didn't I sleep, the next day I was depressed, angry and strange (totally out of character) all day so the side effects may have been on the mental and emotional side but if I had a toddler? That's a potentially dangerous situation to be out of your mind while caring for a little kiddo.

 

The old school stuff is no better as far as sure, I sleep now and wake up a rather normal person the next day (yay) however, the side effects are physical and also serious.

 

I can't recommend the prescription stuff. It's bad news really. But if it came down to it though, they may be sleeping pills but if I heard my child in the middle of the night, I'd wake right up. They aren't anesthesia. I'm capable of getting up if I have to and I'm in a good enough state of mind to deal with whatever comes up.

 

I just can't recommend it so I'm open to any and all more natural ideas.

[Ninjainpajamas]

I've had difficulty sleeping my entire life, it's always been a struggle for me so I'm used to dealing with it....it didn't matter how exhausted I was, in fact it seemed like the more active I was the harder it was for me to fall asleep, especially if my body was burning or sore from sports or working out, I just couldn't relax and fall asleep...I was like this clock that wouldn't stop ticking...but here's some of my advice.

 

1) Try sleeping away from your husband, see if changing into sleeping on the couch or somewhere else where it is quite and peaceful makes a different, you need to be able to focus and concentrate on your sleep, and snoring is highly disturbing, it definitely won't help you at the very least...the biggest problem with people tends to be that they get stuck in a mentality that they don't have to adjust anything over time because they never needed it before, even though they realize that it may be an issue...don't fight yourself though, just do it.

 

2) Don't eat late or drink any caffeine at night, you seem to be aware of this already but really try to make sure you are not accidentally drinking something with caffeine in it...I've almost completely cut off soda out of my diet except every once in a while, I do believe it made a big difference. You also don't want to sleep on a full stomach, everything should be done 2 to 3 hours before you sleep and if you're hungry just try and sleep if that's your bedtime instead of having a quick snack.

 

3) Sleep on a schedule, probably the hardest thing for me to do but try and stick to it...plan on waking up at a certain time and going to sleep at a certain time, get your body used to the pattern...this for me can be really hard to maintain especially on weekends, but if I go to sleep later I try to wake up still early the next day, because one day can throw me all off. This is probably the most helpful solution for me.

 

4) Stress and anxiety, don't try and force yourself to do something...don't focus on thoughts and things that make you feel stressed out and anxious. For myself when I go to sleep is when all these thoughts rush in my head and can cause me to toss and turn...but with the help of the fan and try to focus my brain to think of absolutely nothing, I ignore the thoughts from forming that turn into emotions so that the emotion doesn't occur, so it's been easier to fall asleep, sometimes I feel like I'm going to lay there for hours, then the next thing I know I'm waking up in the morning, really try and think about nothing...try to vent out your worries and even exercise to let off some of that anxiousness in the daytime, then wind it down during the evening, your body is more of a creature of habit than you know, so stay off the computer more if you're always glued to it, like your phone or whatever playing games and the like...don't force yourself to stay up when you are tired either.

 

I am personally against sleeping pills from experience, I was trying those, and although it made me drowsy which sometimes helped, i ended up in a weird state and felt strange, I'd wake up with nightmares and I don't even really have anything to be scared about or of, it's just the images are so vivid. I am someone who avoids medicine if I can to resolve an issue without it, it's a last resort...other than significant pain (like really significant) or allergies.

[Bittersweetie]

 

1) Try sleeping away from your husband, see if changing into sleeping on the couch or somewhere else where it is quite and peaceful makes a different, you need to be able to focus and concentrate on your sleep, and snoring is highly disturbing, it definitely won't help you at the very least...the biggest problem with people tends to be that they get stuck in a mentality that they don't have to adjust anything over time because they never needed it before, even though they realize that it may be an issue...don't fight yourself though, just do it.

 

 

Thanks for the thoughts. I actually do sleep in the guest room once every couple of weeks and those are usually good nights. Plus, yesterday my H decided to take our son to visit his relatives this weekend so I'm on my own. Two whole nights by myself! Hopefully it will help me catch up.

 

Thanks!