Made a mistake...

[Pleasant Surprise]

I'm fed up. That's it. We haven't spoken in well over a month, but I still feel just as hung up as I did before. I'm so ready to move on mentally, but emotionally I feel so attached to this person who left me, other than trying to reach me one time last week.

 

I'm sick of bothering the one person who is willing to listen to me about this issue because they don't need it in their lives. However, you, as a community, are all willing to listen to me and hopefully draw some wisdom from my situation.

 

I already know that I will **** up many, many times on my NC journey. However, this thread is the declaration of the beginning of my attempt to truly move on from this.

 

My biggest issue is not direct contact, that's a breeze. It's checking all of her social media outlets on a daily basis. Every time I break and check her Twitter, Instagram or Snapchat, I will post here. I will post here everyday and when I am feeling like I'm ready to break NC to prevent actually breaking it.

 

I hope that making this declaration will enable me to be stronger in my struggle against myself, because I want to set a good example for all of my peers on here and I don't want to let anybody down on here.

 

Tomorrow will be my first day without checking any of her social media. I will go for as long as I can and document my feelings and progress as frequently as I need in this thread. Any thoughts of reconciliation will be pushed away unless the opportunity arises. I'm so sick of waiting and thinking. It's time to be proactive.

 

Please wish me luck!

[BridgetGrey]

I'm in the same boat as you are believe me. I was going on not checking anything social media of his and then I see his trip pics of Instagram:rolleyes:

and then I commit to it and he messages about something which he could have had his sister who needed message me about it. I felt as if he was trying to recontact....

 

ugh believe even though I think I'm progressed than you in the aspect of I accepted it's over and know the relationship expired , but I just wanna forget and it's like even when I stop the social media it pops up it's just hard especially when I have a lot of on my hands such a family situation and studies.

[dawnr0]

Good luck!

[Pleasant Surprise]

I'm in the same boat as you are believe me. I was going on not checking anything social media of his and then I see his trip pics of Instagram:rolleyes:

and then I commit to it and he messages about something which he could have had his sister who needed message me about it. I felt as if he was trying to recontact....

 

ugh believe even though I think I'm progressed than you in the aspect of I accepted it's over and know the relationship expired , but I just wanna forget and it's like even when I stop the social media it pops up it's just hard especially when I have a lot of on my hands such a family situation and studies.

 

I know how difficult it is to deal with any form of contact from your ex, regardless of if you have accepted that it is over or not. Deep down you must still have some form of caring feelings for your ex, and it's hard to fight it. Your ex will find you when you are at your best point and feeling powerful and they will contact you to mess it all up lol. It's life, though. We gotta deal with the cards we are dealt, I suppose. It isn't so bad for us, now that I think about it. It seems both of us have had awesome relationships with these people and it was just cut short. I would rather miss something and have amazing memories than have been in a bad relationship.

 

I think it's the opposite for me. Life is boring for me lately and I really need to get busy so I stop defaulting to thinking of my ex. Hopefully my vacation next week (no internet for a week) and the beginning of football season will keep me too busy and tired to be a creepy stalker haha.

 

Football will be hell for the two weeks of double sessions. We have to wear full equipment in the dead of August for two three hour sessions (morning and afternoon). I never thought I would be so excited to be slaving in the hot summer sun with my buddies in complete agony and pain lol. Anything to egg my mind off of this scenario.

 

Good luck!

 

Thank you! I'll need it!

[BridgetGrey]

I know how difficult it is to deal with any form of contact from your ex, regardless of if you have accepted that it is over or not. Deep down you must still have some form of caring feelings for your ex, and it's hard to fight it. Your ex will find you when you are at your best point and feeling powerful and they will contact you to mess it all up lol. It's life, though. We gotta deal with the cards we are dealt, I suppose. It isn't so bad for us, now that I think about it. It seems both of us have had awesome relationships with these people and it was just cut short. I would rather miss something and have amazing memories than have been in a bad relationship.

 

I think it's the opposite for me. Life is boring for me lately and I really need to get busy so I stop defaulting to thinking of my ex. Hopefully my vacation next week (no internet for a week) and the beginning of football season will keep me too busy and tired to be a creepy stalker haha.

 

Football will be hell for the two weeks of double sessions. We have to wear full equipment in the dead of August for two three hour sessions (morning and afternoon). I never thought I would be so excited to be slaving in the hot summer sun with my buddies in complete agony and pain lol. Anything to egg my mind off of this scenario.

 

 

 

Thank you! I'll need it!

 

 

 

I dunoo how yours ended , but mine was long distance and he was not going to commit basically I was too attached and inexperienced , so I would say we both dragged it along and it ended on a mutual tone. Anyhow yes there was good times and I used to feel robbed , but that's life you can't have it all.

 

But now NC is for us I don't want to be sucked back into him or relay on him when he won't be there for me all the time. I'ts not right.

[Pleasant Surprise]

I dunoo how yours ended , but mine was long distance and he was not going to commit basically I was too attached and inexperienced , so I would say we both dragged it along and it ended on a mutual tone. Anyhow yes there was good times and I used to feel robbed , but that's life you can't have it all.

 

But now NC is for us I don't want to be sucked back into him or relay on him when he won't be there for me all the time. I'ts not right.

 

Yeah, more or less the same deal here. We're both inexperienced and young (teenagers). One of the things she told me the last time we talked was that it was best for both of us to stop dragging our relationship on. Of course, she still wanted to be friends, which I still haven't really given her an answer to. I still hope one day I can just move on and be her friend, because she's a great person. But I do need to let to first.

 

And you're right, it's not right for us to shorthand ourselves.

[Pleasant Surprise]

First day, I haven't looked at any of her social media pages or anything. Did see a picture of her on someone else's snapchat story, though. Other than that, I spent the day with family and actually got pretty emotional. I had distant relatives come from far away and I saw one of them for the last time probably ever today. I hadn't met her before but she started to cry when it was time to go because she would miss my family and I. I didn't understand how somebody that I had never met in my life could love me so unconditionally. It made me feel like absolute crap because I am wasting so much time loving an ex who left me instead of using my love on people who were much more deserving of it.

 

While in theory I kept NC today, I definitely suffered a loss. I feel horribly guilty about still being hung up on my ex.

 

This will be rough.

[Pleasant Surprise]

I know it has been a couple days since I've posted anything on here - hope you didn't miss me too much lol. Unfortunately, I think this will be my departure thread from this website. Thanks for all the great advice you've all given me.

 

A week or so after I got a call from my ex it was eating me alive. I had to know what she wanted. I ended up breaking NC and asked her if she needed anything. Call was a mistake, she apologized. I said that it was cool and I thought it was sorta strange. She said that she was freaking out when she did it and apologized again. I said it was cool and asked how she was. She said she was good and asked about me. Pretty much said the same thing. She asked about how my summer was so I told her a little bit about that. She asked if I would be running track again this year (we ran together last year) and I told her yeah. She said some stuff about track and her sister. At that point I thought it best to keep things somewhat short because I haven't completely moved on yet. Told her I had to go to sleep and I'd talk to her later, also glad we caught up a bit. She said she was glad to have heard from me (I went ghost on her for a month and a half) and said goodnight.

 

No talk of the future or past in terms of our relationship. I don't know if a friendship is in the cards for the two of us, but I don't really care. I am definitely done with the relationship. I still have pictures and great memories of our time together which I doubt I'll ever dispose of, to be completely honest. I don't know when we'll talk next, if ever. None of that matters to me now. I honestly would feel fine never talking to her again. I'm just focusing on me for a while and I'm sure things will naturally come together as always.

 

I have finally accepted the end of this relationship. Just knowing we're on good terms now makes me feel okay with everything since I felt kinda guilty leaving off on the note that I did.

 

While I have accepted the end, I do still have feelings for this girl. It will be 5 months until track starts and by then I'm hoping to see her as just another person. I won't say friend because I don't know where we'll both be at emotionally at that point (we all know how fast **** changes). I'm feeling optimistic.

 

On that note, I'm taking my leave. I think posting here is giving too much thought to a relationship that is long gone so I even have to let go of you guys. However, I do feel that I owe you guys a final update. Hopefully you won't see me around anytime soon haha.

 

I'll leave you with this:

 

It gets better.