i don't know what to do.....

[Twynns]

[color=violet]hello... i am new here.. well not really .. i read alot of the post in seek of answers and knowledge.. but today am seeking advice..

 

okay here goes... sorry if it's long..

 

i've been with my boyfriend for several years.. (12 to be exact)... no ring.. we bring up marriage every now and then .. but it's always the same answer.. not now i wanna get full establish first so i can give u what u deserve...

 

anyway.. about 10yrs into the relationship we had a threesome.. (not the first time having one) but this one stood out.. mainly because they continued for about 2months with out me... well after that 2months they told me cause i guess they felt guilty...

 

prior to the two of them we've been going thru some changes.. so it didn't surprise me that that happened... we reconcile dat sistuation and we moved on..

 

to tell u the truth.. i don't think i full let it go...

 

well to try and shorten this up.. i meet some one and have indulged in so very heated encounters...

 

the bad thing about it is i love my boyfriend but not sure if am fully satisfied with him.. and now this guy is makin his way to my heart ..

 

i know u can't be in love with two ppl.. but i now don't want to lose either of them...

 

i know this conversation is sketchy but am open to question.. so it can be fully understood.. what am seeking is advice on how to handle the sistuation..

 

thanks... [/color]

[Bryanp]

Hello,

 

You cannot have both. I would suggest you be honest with your boyfriend and tell him what is up. Either you will recover your relationship or you will move on. You will eventually be caught and it will be better all around if you are upfront with him now.

 

Do you think this is fair to your boyfriend? You went through the hurt and now you are doing this to him? This will all end up badly for you if you are not truthful. By the way, do you really think your new male friend would wish to be really serious with a woman who cheats on her live-in boyfriend behind his back?

 

If you truly loved your boyfriend you would not be doing this. You don't do this to a person you love. How can you not see this? I wish you luck.

[glitter-gal]

Sounds to me like you want to have your cake and eat it too... You gotta pick one or the other honey, just the way the world spins.

 

In my opinion your relationship with your boyfriend of 12 (holy freaking cow!!!) years is afraid to commit or doesn't want to commit at least not to you. Check it out, he gets to sleep with you whenever he wants... plus you would do ANYTHING for him (even let another woman come into your sex lives ~~>Bad Idea!) And then he leaves you for her only to have you take him back anyway after 2 months!!??!!

 

Ever heard the expression "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free??" And not only the milk Sis, the cheese, and everything else!!

 

My advice to you is ~~~> LEAVE HIM!!! Find someone new, don't let them walk on you like carpet, demand the respect and love you, as a beautiful woman, deserve!!

 

(If for some reason you still want to be with this man that has been stomping all over you for 12 years, tell him to cut the crap, be a man and commit. And then of course you have to hold him to it. Although, most people say you can't teach an old dog new tricks....)

[Twynns]

[color=violet]thanks for the advice... i like ur straight forwardness...

 

being dat long in the relationship family seem to look at it as him taking

advantage of me..

 

but i figure that's what being in a committed relationship meant..

 

was to be able to forgive and forget... and stand by him thru thick and thin..

 

right now.. am feeling for new things... and self happiness.. even if it means

being by myself. .. the other guy... isn't dat serious... he's a pleasure

and a wellcome change to be around.. but... if i was to leave long term for him..

i really don't think he will be able to trust me...[/color]