Best Way To Handle This Scenario

[Ferocious]

I just recently got cheated on for the SECOND time by my ex GF. When we first dated she virtually cheated on me with some dude who lived a few states away. She sexted him and told him she loved him ect. When I found out about it I became very controlling and wanted to know who she talked too ect. 2 months later she broke up with me due to "trust" issues and said she felt like I would never trust her. I pleaded with her that she didn't give me enough time to get over the initial instance and that if she wanted me to stop going thru her phone all she would have to do is ask. She kept claiming I would never be able to trust her and that it was hopeless. About a month later we reconciled and got back together.

 

Here's where things get interesting. I trusted her this time which was the biggest mistake I ever made. She told me this guy she was texting was just a friend and that she was all mine. She made me get rid of girls I was texting and even hit me with "Your texting these other b*tches it feels like you don't even want to talk to me". She became jealous over other girls!!!! This all happened within 5 days of her cheating on me. She then told me she was going to a baseball game with some friends from school. I thought this was kind of strange (she didn't invite me) so I asked one of her friends if I could go. She told me that she was going on a date with some dude from her college. I immediately questioned her and she hit me with "see you don't trust me still" so what else was I supposed to say? She told me he was just a friend and she knew I would get mad if I knew it was another dude. Anyways to make a long story short she kissed him and when he asked her out she said yes. She also had told her friends she planned on getting a BF when she went to the game a few days prior to her going. She played me so hard. She ignored me the whole time she was with him and claimed "I couldn't get a signal" and then when she arrived back home she texted me how much she missed me lol. The next day she broke up with me and threw me some lame excuse that "I was being to clingy". She didn't even have the guts to tell me she cheated on me. I already knew what was going on and when I confronted her about it she told me nothing happened and her feelings just changed. This was all lies cuz she played me for an entire month with this guy. She used me. I was sick on the couch with a UC flare a few weeks ago puking and she knew it and still had the nerve to cheat on me. I'm now left with NO women and NO options because this girl basically tried to keep me all to her while she went and explored her options. Up until the day she went to the game she told me "nothing would happen" "I told him I have a BF he said we were just going as friends anyways". She lied about EVERYTHING......I don't even understand how you could do that to someone. I asked her to tell him she had a BF in case he got the wrong idea and she claimed she did....What a lie.....After cheating on me she had the nerve to tell me "I still care about you" "Im so sorry for what I've done". What I want to know is it even possible for someone like her to "care" about me? Sure doesn't seem possible to me. I was in the hospital snapping her on Snapchat like 3 days before she cheated and the whole time she knew for weeks that she planned on cheating on me. THE WHOLE TIME! She told her friends about this guy weeks ago........If you were really sorry in my opinion you would beg me back? Or no? She just tossed me out just like that. It took no effort for her. I started no contact today and she's already texted me 3 times. All completely irrelevant things. As a matter of fact she's already with her BF on a nice vacation for two weeks atm so I doubt I'll get another text. I'm not even really sure what to do. I feel like she's just played games the whole time. Breaks up with me over trust, then cheats again.......That's so low I can't even put it into words. I was beyond sick a few weeks ago as well. I just want to know from anyone who's ever been cheated on what you did to get over it and if these people are feeding their own egos by saying "I still care". To me that makes no sense. Also, she claimed she thinks about me all the time and how bad she's hurt me, but I don't buy into that. She's going to the beach with him like do you honestly expect me to believe I'll even cross her mind? I would never take her back, but It actually bothers me she doesn't want me back. She kept saying "I've made a mistake" well then why is it that she's still with him? Like cmon now idk what to even make of this situation, so any help is much appreciated.

[beach]

No reason to bother with a gal like that - she cheats and lies.

 

Find a gal that's nothing like her.

[Ferocious]

No reason to bother with a gal like that - she cheats and lies.

 

Find a gal that's nothing like her.

 

I understand that, but I feel like I've been duped so hard. I cut off all my connections with other girls because any girl that tried to flirt was gone. We made these rules up that we were only allowed to hug other ppl and that if any girl or guy tried to take us we would get rid of them. I followed this to a T! It was even her idea and she played me so hard. I wake up every morning I feel so weak I feel sick I feel ultra depressed while she's on vacation not thinking of me with the new guy! I even asked her to help me by finding me another girl bcuz I can't go to college due to my disease and she agreed, then while on vacation I responded to one of her msgs and I got a msg from her BF telling me to leave her alone I'm bothering her. Can you imagine how frustrating it is sitting here all day knowing this girl essentially ruined me while she goes out and has a grand old time with her new pal? I'm 21 haven't cried in years, but am now crying bcuz this girl can't even feel sorry for what she did! She doesn't feel one ounce of guilt not one! I even told her I was sick and she knew it the whole entire time bcuz I was at her house a few weeks prior sick and she still cheated.

 

I would never want her back EVER! I don't want this new her, but I get duped while she gets away with it. People say the best thing you can do is to move on forget about it ect, but how can u move on when u have not a single connection? She took all that away from me and she knew the WHOLE time she was gonna cheat. The whole entire time she knew it and she still did it. She not only had me as a backup, but she made me all hers. It was all just some game to her, but to me I thought it was real. There is nothing to really fall back on I lost my job to my disease, I can't go to school due to my disease, I became reliant on her bcuz she made me happy. There is really nothing left like my other goals keep getting pushed away bcuz I have no control over them. I can't control my health or my job or any of that. I sit here and seriously don't understand how someone could do that to anyone. Even when I was sick I was working out and still looked like I was in shape. I never was depressed even tho I didn't have much, so the fact she just tossed me out bothers me. My head seriously hurts as if I have a constant migraine the emotional pain is insane I've never felt this way before ever.

[Javelin]

but how can u move on when u have not a single connection?

 

You have no self esteem, that's why you feel this way.

 

And when a person is a victim of cheating, there is an innate urge to stay with the cheater because they feel as though they (the cheat) can fix what is broken.

 

Here's my advice:

 

It'll be hard, and it takes time (how much is up to you,) but you need to cut communication with your Ex and get rid of everything connecting you to her. Once that is done, begin your recovery process. Your new found time should be spent healing, meeting new friends, and trying new things! Overtime, you will look back and wonder how the **** you ever stayed with her! Once this realization is in place, your esteem will be back, you won't require closure, and you'll be ready to begin dating again.

[Ferocious]

You have no self esteem, that's why you feel this way.

 

And when a person is a victim of cheating, there is an innate urge to stay with the cheater because they feel as though they (the cheat) can fix what is broken.

 

Here's my advice:

 

It'll be hard, and it takes time (how much is up to you,) but you need to cut communication with your Ex and get rid of everything connecting you to her. Once that is done, begin your recovery process. Your new found time should be spent healing, meeting new friends, and trying new things! Overtime, you will look back and wonder how the **** you ever stayed with her! Once this realization is in place, your esteem will be back, you won't require closure, and you'll be ready to begin dating again.

 

I think you're right. The weird thing is and I don't know how to explain this, but when I first met her I thought she was below my standards, then when I dated her I guess I fell for her kind of so once she got rid of me it was pretty hurtful. I was hooked up with her and she was my first GF. I don't do well just randomly meeting ppl so I wanted her to help me. It seems as tho she can't even do that despite what she's already done. There is no urge for her to fix anything bcuz I believe in her eyes she only cares about herself and her needs. No one else is involved in her thought process.

[preraph]

Congratulations, you now know how a lot of women feel. She's a liar and you need to cut your losses and do no contact with her.

[pteromom]

She made me get rid of girls I was texting...She became jealous over other girls!!!!

 

This is actually a red flag for the future. Because she looked at male friends as potential dating partners, of course she assumed you having female friends meant you were going to cheat.

 

Trust is very important. If someone can't trust you, you have to wonder how trustworthy THEY are.

 

Also, she claimed she thinks about me all the time and how bad she's hurt me, but I don't buy into that.

 

She wants to keep you on the back burner. Is it possible she feels badly that she hurt you? Yes. Is it possible that she still cares about you and thinks about you? Yes. But that doesn't change the fact that she is incapable of a loving faithful relationship. She can't give you what you want, so what she is feeling doesn't really matter at all.

 

I would never take her back, but It actually bothers me she doesn't want me back.

 

She might want you back. But you know her game now, so she is unable to manipulate you further. So you aren't an option anymore.

 

Like cmon now idk what to even make of this situation, so any help is much appreciated.

 

She is a cheater, a user, and selfish. There are many psychological reasons for the way she is, but the "Whys" don't matter. The fact is she is not what you want, so it is time to forget about what she is doing, and move on.

[Chi townD]

There's an old saying."Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me"

 

 

You got played and I have a feeling the guilt is starting to get to her. She's not done with you. She'll want nothing more than to get you into the friend zone to ease her guilt.

 

 

That's when you need to be strong. That's when you really need to apply NC. I hope you've already blocked her on your facebook. IF she went on vacation with this girlfriend stealing douche rocket, it's only a matter of time before she starts posting pic of her trip. One thing about some girls, if they're having fun, they want the world to know it regardless of someone's feelings.

 

 

Heal from this, stay NC and start making positive changes to your life.

[Javelin]

There is no urge for her to fix anything.

 

You should know by now that cheating cannot be fixed, once the damage is done it leaves a permanent scar. Unfortunately 2 in your case and I hope this is a lessened learned.

 

I'm not going to pretend to know you, but if you are an honest person and didn't provoke her cheating escapade in any way, I leave you with this advice:

 

Do not change who you are just because someone broke your heart. You may also find yourself searching for answers as to why she cheated. And, if you are at that point, you cannot put the blame on yourself. In fact, don't even bother searching for clues because its irreverent and at the end of the day she would have cheated regardless.

 

So again, don't change who you are! Instead, use these life lessons to quickly identify a cheater's habits and position yourself outside the range of their ways.

[Ferocious]

There's an old saying."Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me"

 

 

You got played and I have a feeling the guilt is starting to get to her. She's not done with you. She'll want nothing more than to get you into the friend zone to ease her guilt.

 

 

That's when you need to be strong. That's when you really need to apply NC. I hope you've already blocked her on your facebook. IF she went on vacation with this girlfriend stealing douche rocket, it's only a matter of time before she starts posting pic of her trip. One thing about some girls, if they're having fun, they want the world to know it regardless of someone's feelings.

 

 

Heal from this, stay NC and start making positive changes to your life.

 

I've already blocked her on everything except for texting. You're spot on as I already know she's been posting pics to her instagram. She follows me as I unfollowed her bcuz I dnt want to see none of that. However, this girl is so hurtful she doesn't even want me as a friend -_- I wanted her to hook me up with someone bcuz right now I seriously feel disconnected due to what happened. I can't even be her friend period. She doesn't even deserve that status, but what I tried to tell her is I don't want left out in the cold while she prances around all merrily. I told her she can fix the problem by being honest with her friends about what happened and then attempt to hook me up with someone. After that idc what she does or who she's with I would get rid of her, but atm I have no connections at all. I don't do good meeting new ppl; I was initially hooked up with her thru a friend and hence that's why it's my first ever GF. I don't see how there's any guilt whatsoever in this girl. I really just wish there was, but maybe I'm not seeing it clearly. She texted me right before she left for vacation saying she was leaving and that her dance performance the prior night was good. I texted her a few days later while she was on this vacation and got ignored. She was on her phone bcuz she was on instagram, so I dnt see how u can care about someone or feel guilty when you straight up ignore them. She even disconnected her kik acct so I couldn't contact her while she's with him. Pretty low to cheat on someone, reject them, and then when they ask for help spit in their face, but she definitely "loved" me.........

[Javelin]

I've already blocked her on everything except for texting...

 

You need to stop *ALL* communication with her.

 

And, stop trying to rebound - a girlfriend, hook up, one-night-stand should be the last thing on your mind. Go play some basketball or something.