HappyStart2014 Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 Hello, I will try to summarize this the best as I can. I have had an on again and off again affair for about 2years. I am married as is he. Several DD and all were explosive. Me being the one who gets hurt verbally the most from him. Selfishly I always told on him as well as myself after him and I fought. The first dday he told me he could never want someone like me. I'm crazy ( is this a commonH term us other people get called?) . He hated me. Just cruel to me which progressed every dday. He eventually started following me around again, not saying I didn't have a couple week moments that I text him. But he literally followed me around. Sat outside my house. I still loved him, at that point he hadn't told me that he loved me. But we started to talk once again. This time asked me to meet for lunch with him. He told me he thought he was in love with me. I made him soo happy and I was all he could think about. He wanted me to leave my husband and us two to be together. Told me to think about it while he went out of state for work that week. So I did and I still felt very mutual. So I told him that I wanted this! I wanted to be with him. He was very quit ....I asked him if he really loved me and all he could say is he f bomb up telling me that and didn't really want me. Welp..another dday. Fast forward two months.... I'm at a golf charity even with my girlfriends and I turn around and he is there by himself! He kept staring at me and I kept drinking. Eventually I text him hello. He told me he wanted to see me...I said when and he said now. We met up..allot of crying on both sides. He said he just wasn't ready then. So began a few month stretch. Full of I love you's. We started being more sexual than we had been in the past. We did some things ...but it got more serious. We started planning this. Then one day he was distant. He told me that he couldn't handle being a step dad.It would never work. And he didn't want me. This broke my heart. Just tore me up. Another DDAY. Explosive one. He called the B word. Told me I was nothing but a giant mistake. I ruined his life. I disgust him. Fast forward a few months. Same scenario as before. Started talking...this time we kept it at arms length away. We hugged and cuddled ..never kissed or anything. But talked every day via text everyday. Then one day again he's distant....another DDAY. This time was the worst. He told me I was fat and ugly. The whole time he had been using me. I was manipulative. So here I am two months later. I'm feeling okay. I miss him at times. But not in the way I did before. I feel a bit destroyed by him. Like he has beat me down so much I am numb. I'm not the same person I use to be. I'm not bubbly and happy..I just numb and go w/ the motions of life. I think allot of me is sad he used me. That he really felt like I was not attractive and fat. I kind of wish if he felt that way he wouldn't have talked to me again:( I was doing good before. I feel like I'm ready to move forward. Like it doesn't sting anymore like it use to. I guess what makes me a bit panicky is if I forget him and move on....he will forget me and move on. That scares the you know what out of me. Him and I talked everyday all day..sometimes back and forth from 8 am to 10 pm. We told each other everything ..he was my best friend. Has anyone felt this way before? Link to post Share on other sites
Sasha1/2 Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 (edited) Your MM is abusive towards you. Why do you accept abuse from anyone in your life? Is your husband abusive too? Why not start chosing healthy relationships? Counseling would help you. My husband was my best friend. We text very well, but I can't live with him "for real" because he is abusive. Texting isn't real. Edited August 2, 2014 by Sasha1/2 Typos Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 When you say DDay, do you mean both or one of your spouses found out? Do you see anything like happening to change the way he acts? Link to post Share on other sites
nycrunner Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 affair equal fantasy and fun. Why bother with this drama ? Find someone else Link to post Share on other sites
Lovemesomehim Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 Why are you allowing him to manipulate you like this? Someone that loves you would not put you through this much pain. Being that you are married, why not leave your husband as to not put him through the pain when he finds out that you're leaving him for another man. Link to post Share on other sites
EnderA Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 (edited) He sounds like an a-hole. Why would you allow yourself to be treated like that? Edited August 3, 2014 by EnderA Link to post Share on other sites
WrinkledForehead Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 He's verbally abusive to you. I have best friends and I can assure you that best friends build each other up, not tear each other down. My best friend sees me at my worst and still thinks I'm an amazing woman, mother, student, etc. Don't keep tolerating his bad behavior. You don't deserve that kind of treatment! Link to post Share on other sites
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