Success stories getting back an Ex?

[Boymeetsgirl]

Hi guys.. As the title says. Any success stories re atracting your ex back and how did you do it?

Edited August 3, 2014 by Boymeetsgirl

[OK_computer]

There's no such thing as getting your ex back. Even if you do there will always be a rift and things will never be the same. Success? Success is moving the EFF on from you ex and never looking back. haaha:cool:

[Jenmarie]

^ This isn't true. My boyfriend and I were together for two years. Things began to get rocky about three months after he broke up with me. (And I'm not talking about the honeymoon phase wearing off, that wore off ages before the new problems started arising). We began to have problems because we both had individual problems. I lost a few of my friends and became depressed, my dog passed away that I had for 9 years that my mother who passed gave to me, my bipolar disorder wasn't being treated, and a lot of stress increased in our relationship. My boyfriend had stress of his own, he recently moved, got behind in school, and became depressed on his own. He had a terrible sleep pattern to where he would stay up late playing video games, and as much as I loved to play them too, I would resent him for it because it made me feel like I wasn't the main priority, especially when I was going through a lot at the time.

 

He eventually broke up with me and I was completely heartbroken. I asked him to reconsider, but he told me straight up that it was over. Words can't describe how hurt I was. I had a lot of hopes that this was just a rocky time, and things would get better, but they didn't, they got worse, he ended up being resentful towards me because I kind of got clingy after my losses, I seeked comfort through him, which was a big mistake on my part.

 

After he broke up with me, as much as it hurt, I accepted it and went NC immediately. I knew talking to him would make things worse. I knew it would make me look desperate, and I knew I had to focus on myself. We were broken up for nearly three months and had absolutely No contact. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. While in No Contact, I made new friends, and a lot of them, enlisted in school, found a seasonal job to work, picked up new hobbies and interests. I began doing volunteer work again that I did before in our relationship but stopped at the end. I got treatment for my bipolar depression, and I began to feel better about myself, and happier. I kept myself busy, I would talk to friends instead of breaking NC. I stuck with it and I didn't break it for a long time.

 

I eventually broke it, after nearly three months. I decided to text him, not about our break up or relationship of course, but about a mutual interest of ours: anime. I went to anime con and got some cool things, and I texted him a picture of something and said "Look what I got at anime con! :)" He texted back immediately, and we fell into a conversation. I ended the conversation 10 minutes later, because I had to leave for my volunteer work. After I told him I had to go, he said, "I'm very glad you're doing that, we should talk more, no?" I agreed and went on my way.

 

We didn't talk for a week or so after that, then eventually we started to slowly. While in no contact, he caught up with his school work and took care of himself and we could see the positive change in one another. He said he felt so happy to have me in his life again. So, we agreed to get back together.

 

So, yes. It was really hard during the break up. While in NC, I told myself, that I had to focus on myself, focus on my friends, family, hobbies, interests. I told myself we would never get back together, but hey, it happened. I was even the one who broke NC. It is possible, but you can't make getting your ex back your primary focus. YOU should be the focus, always.

 

We've been back together for 8 months now, and things are just like how they were when our relationship was healthy. I have friends, I still go to volunteer work, and I have hobbies outside of him. I always make sure to do me first. So, yes, success is possible and relationships can be the same after something heartbreaking. So don't feel depressed or have doubts. (This is actually my first post to LoveShack, I've been a lurker for years). But focus on you, and if anything is meant to be, it will be!

Edited August 3, 2014 by Jenmarie

[cavalier99]

Why would you ever want back with an EX? Waste of time, thought, and emotional energy entertaining this thought.

 

Onto the next!!!

 

Now if the next happened to be an ex a few years down the road after a full recovery and both of you having different RS that seems different to me "REMOTLEY" possible.

 

I've just never been interested again in an ex romantically even if they are.

Edited August 3, 2014 by cavalier99

[OwMyEyeball]

The only strategy to focus on is self-betterment for self. For life.

 

If she's doing the same then there can be a chance of healthy reconciliation later on down the road.

 

Any other approach is full of schemes, manipulation and self-rejection. That may achieve the initial objective - 'winning' the ex back - but all the underlying issues that bled the relationship will remain fully intact. It's only a matter of time before they resurface.

[d0nnivain]

My college roommate & her then BF broke up senior year. They had been together since junior high. Anyway, they spent about 2 years apart but would occasionally see each other because their parents were next door neighbors. Eventually they got back together & have been married for almost 25 years now.

[GingerVixen]

There's no such thing as getting your ex back. Even if you do there will always be a rift and things will never be the same. Success? Success is moving the EFF on from you ex and never looking back. haaha:cool:

 

Agreed!!!!!

[frankvega]

For some reasons very few success stories ever get post on these types of forums. I know many in real life all different situations were couples got back together and stayed together. Usually they were long term relationships over 3 years or more and usually they had been broken up for more than a year before getting back together.

This happend to a family member of mine and it happend to my best friend.

It happens a lot if you ask around but rarely are you going to read about it in a forum.

 

Mainly what 99% of the times what people will tell you here is to move on and find someone new.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

For some reasons very few success stories ever get post on these types of forums. I know many in real life all different situations were couples got back together and stayed together. Usually they were long term relationships over 3 years or more and usually they had been broken up for more than a year before getting back together.

This happend to a family member of mine and it happend to my best friend.

It happens a lot if you ask around but rarely are you going to read about it in a forum.

 

Mainly what 99% of the times what people will tell you here is to move on and find someone new.

 

Sour grapes galore.....

 

You just said it. After a while and BOTH PARTIES MOVED ON, then yeah its possible. 99 percent of the people on your thread has told you the same thing because you need to move on from it. MAYBE in the future its possible...but not until you move on from it.

 

I hate when people come on here and try to badmouth the advice given. If you dont like it, you know where the log off button is.

[Mangiafuoco]

There's no such thing as getting your ex back. Even if you do there will always be a rift and things will never be the same. Success? Success is moving the EFF on from you ex and never looking back. haaha:cool:

 

It's not true at all. Getting back together isn't have the same thing of the previous relationship, but it's accepting the old relationship is gone and starting a new one.

[Mangiafuoco]

For some reasons very few success stories ever get post on these types of forums.

 

The reasons are pretty simple. When people come back together it usually happen after lot of time, and in the meanwhile they are full healed and are not more in these forums, or when the reconciliation happen they are happy and full occupied with the relationship, so they have not time to come here and share.

[hoping2heal]

The reasons are pretty simple. When people come back together it usually happen after lot of time, and in the meanwhile they are full healed and are not more in these forums, or when the reconciliation happen they are happy and full occupied with the relationship, so they have not time to come here and share.

 

I'm sure that is true some of the time, not all of it.

 

I'm not going through a BU. I come back because many years ago when I was going through things this site was so helpful. I feel like not being fresh from a break up (but having been through them before) allows me to share my experience and what I've learned while not being too subjective because I've got BU goggles on either.

 

I know of one couple who broke up and reconciled successfully, and a handful who broke up and reconciled unsuccessfully IRL. Who's right? The guy who says it happens all of the time to people he knows IRL or me?

 

Obvious answer...neither! Reconciles can and do happen and be successful, but as with anything "your mileage may vary" but from my "IRL" perspective; what usually happens is the couples split apart and move on because some reasons make the relationship unable to be repaired.

 

The one couple I know that had a successful reconcile did so after 4 years of being apart and both having moved on and fell in love with other people in the meantime. They tried sooner than that and the reconcile fell apart; there was no infidelity on either parts (or at least that was known) but she ended things because she wanted to move to the big city post graduation and she knew he really didn't want to. She was still very in love with him and he her but that was enough to cause mistrust in their second reconcile and why it fell apart. But, after both moving on and loving other people and going through that experience, they both grew some and eventually found themselves back together. Yeah it happens.

 

Unfortunately, a common theme around here (but not always) seems to be ****ty exes. People leaving the guy or lady for someone else, people two timing, story tellers, controlling and manipulative ass-hats or bitch-hats(new word? ha), Or the non ****ty ones grew up and grew out of their relationship. Most people would be doing themselves a service to accept that their breakup was of benefit to them and happened for a reason, because often (though not 100% or even 99% of the time) the ex is just soooo not worth getting back.

Edited August 5, 2014 by hoping2heal

[OK_computer]

It's not true at all. Getting back together isn't have the same thing of the previous relationship, but it's accepting the old relationship is gone and starting a new one.

 

Why would you ever want to go back?

[erklat]

Why would you ever want to go back?

 

Because it is not easy to align stars with everyone, many times better persons than your ex is, and fall in love.

[barky2]

Happens everyday.

 

I can name close to 30 just with friends and family.

 

But don't look into hope from these stories.

 

Your situation is unique.

 

One thing I can say is, I've had every ex come back sometimes it being 12+ years later.

 

Best thing to do is move on, drill it in your head it's not going to happen, and if it does deal with that headache then.

 

And yes the girl that brought me here, I did get back.

 

After almost a year and a half or something.

 

It was short lived, bc I realized I deserved better and it was just the same ol song and dance.

 

 

 

Just my two pennies.

 

 

 

 

 

Barky

Edited August 5, 2014 by barky2

[frankvega]

Sour grapes galore.....

 

You just said it. After a while and BOTH PARTIES MOVED ON, then yeah its possible. 99 percent of the people on your thread has told you the same thing because you need to move on from it. MAYBE in the future its possible...but not until you move on from it.

 

I hate when people come on here and try to badmouth the advice given. If you dont like it, you know where the log off button is.

 

Dude I never bad mouth anyone especially when they are giving me free advice. The OP ask a question and i just answered the truth from what I read here and from what I see in real life.

 

On the real I would never meant for you to get offended in anyway.

[Sugarkane]

Not a lot of successful recons get posted here. Interestingly quite a few people on here seem to get dumped for an ex. But people don't confirm if their exes recon was successful or not. You usually find the dumped does more growing and soul searching than the dumper. And find someone much better than the ex.

[frankvega]

Not a lot of successful recons get posted here. Interestingly quite a few people on here seem to get dumped for an ex. But people don't confirm if their exes recon was successful or not. You usually find the dumped does more growing and soul searching than the dumper. And find someone much better than the ex.

 

 

Now that you mention it you are absolutely right. there are hundreds of threads of dumpees posting that their Boyfriend/Girlfriend dumped them for their ex.

So if you think about it in a way they got back together(just not with the poster)

[lil hoodlum]

Unfortunately, a common theme around here (but not always) seems to be ****ty exes. People leaving the guy or lady for someone else, people two timing, story tellers, controlling and manipulative ass-hats or bitch-hats(new word? ha), Or the non ****ty ones grew up and grew out of their relationship. Most people would be doing themselves a service to accept that their breakup was of benefit to them and happened for a reason, because often (though not 100% or even 99% of the time) the ex is just soooo not worth getting back.

 

 

^^^^^^^^^There is so much truth to these statements.^^^^^^