BrainRightHeartWrong Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 i know there are probably 100's of possible reasons BUT.. say dumpee hasn't hounded the dumper with begging, hardly keeps contact and dumper initiates contact both parties know from experience that friendship doesn't work but they do actually like one another dumper isn't keeping dumpee on a backburner for backup both parties have no new relationships or even want a new relationship with another person no children are involved etc. etc. is it possibly a case for both of breaking up over a longer period of time where they will eventually never contact again? do both know this and are currently practicing such methods? is it possibly a massive long term game for dumper? maybe dumper IS looking for other opportunities afterall and wants to see what else is out there to see if they can do better BUT DOESN'T inform dumpee of their real intentions! opinions please! Link to post Share on other sites
BM30153 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 I'll try to answer your questions or at least give you perspective from a dumper's point of view. It really depends on your situation....but in my case, even though I initiated the break-up, I still want to have him in my life, so I've been contacting him via emails and phone calls. The reason for my contact is because at the end of the day, I still think my ex is a great person and I don't want to cut off all ties with them. After all, we did share some pretty amazing moments together and he never did anything egregiously wrong to me. It's just timing was off for both of us. Now, the reasons for my continuing to connect with my ex are two folds: 1. I really do still want him in my life and harbor hopes that we can maybe rekindle something in the future when the timing works for both of us. He is currently in another country and I'm in the States. I left the door open that if and when he should get here, I'd love for us to give it another shot. My talking to him is to still stay connected with him and to know of the major going-ons in his life. 2. To some degree, I regret my decision to break it off and there is a part of me that wishes I can recant my words, but, I know realistically I cannot because it's just not the right thing to do right now. We both know where we stand and as things are, we are not on the same page. If I were to propose getting back together, we'd be back to square one and none of the issues that are there would be resolved. I know this is sending my ex mixed signald, but what I hope he can take away is that my effort to stay in contact is a thinly veiled effort to get him to propose that we try it another try....even though I was the one who broke it off. Does that make sense to you? Anyway, please don't think the dumper is stringing you along when they contact you. I, for one, genuinely misses my ex and on some level regret that I prematurely ended it, but on the other hand, I also knew we couldn't continue down the path we were on. I still care about him very much and think about him all the time. That could be the case with your dumper as well....... Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted February 26, 2005 Share Posted February 26, 2005 In some cases the Dumper gets his/her ego fed by the fact that the dumpee still has feelings and the Dumper has no real intention of getting back together but rather keeps that dumpee on a string until they find another person.. Link to post Share on other sites
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