Jb1986 Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 My husband and i have been together for 13 years. We have a 3 year old little boy and a 1 year old girl. My husband has been doing the same job for 10 years and he has had enough, he has been having sick days for a month and now is on leave for month and looks like he will be going back part time for 2 days a week (24 hours) I am always supportive and willing to pick up the slack when need be, however I am feeling very unappreciated and taken for granted. I feel like myself and the kids are a burden in my husbands eyes instead of a blessing. He doesnt help with the housework and not much with the kids. I run my own business part time aswell yet the housework, childcare etc seems to be predominately my responsibilitiy. We are fighting daily, always about the same crap. For instance he played a gig Saturday night so I let him sleep in yesterday, today both kids up at 6am, he just assumes I should get up not him, then as he lazes in bed he wonders why I get annoyed at him! He never does little things to show me appreciation. He doesnt do any housework at all. He is constantly frustrated with our children. I'm just so sad. When I bring up with him about being unhappy he tells me "just leave me then" any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 You say he's been taking sick days. Does he have a cronic illness? Could this be a reason for him slacking? Some people need firm instructions (mainly males). I learnt this with my 2 sons, if you want something done, they're usually willing they just have no idea it needs doing or how much needs doing. Try doling out the orders...eg "Can you please get Johnny and jane's breakfast, and find their clothes for them. I need more rest" "Can you clean the bathroom this weeked, I'm busy with bookwork." If he isn't willing, then counselling perhaps? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Maybe he is depressed. He should see his family Dr and get a full physical to make sure all is okay. Go to marriage counseling and together fight hard to save your marriage for the sake of your 2 young children. To just end it and walk out without trying to save it would be a mistake. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carrie_o Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Maybe you should separate for a bit. I'm not saying that you should divorce, just live apart for a few months. You are very close to acting like a single parent already. Good for you for being able to handle childcare, housework, and being the breadwinner! Your husband is not contributing. Show him that you would be fine without him. Also show him how miserable he would be without you. Who will cook for him? Who will clean up after him? He will have to be more responsible. He will also miss you and the kids. As much work as kids are, it is always easier to take care of them than to miss them. Separating would show him everything that he might lose if he doesn't change his ways. Link to post Share on other sites
dogeared Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Agree with WWIU. Aside from that, have you had a conversation with your husband about helping out more at home since he is on leave/has reduced hours? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jb1986 Posted August 6, 2014 Author Share Posted August 6, 2014 He is definitely depressed. I will always fight for our marriage but sometimes it's hard being the one that carries the load. He refuses treatment for his depression as he thinks nothing will help. After posting this we talked again and it's always helpful for me to see the problem isn't me or isnt our marriage it's within him. Now to get him to see someone! Link to post Share on other sites
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