Overland_PK_Astro Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Hello, I just registered here just to ask this question. The store I shop at has an actual bank inside, and when I moved here this one woman caught my eye at said bank. I don't have an account at said bank, so I spent a lot of time trying to think up a valid "reason" for approaching her that wouldn't seem odd, eventually I noticed that she works almost every weekend and I did approach her using that fact to strike up a conversation ("Don't they ever give you weekends off?") etc. (You know, come to think of it, making observational comments about the staff rotation at a bank..I hope I am not on some FBI list now somewhere... the bank even has Federal in it's name ) However, I was still nervous talking to her etc and didn't get real far in conversation. So, how does one go about getting a date with someone who they don't directly know, who's only possible interaction is seeing this person at a store at a bank at which I don't have an account? At this point I am just some random person right? She's not in my social circles, and this isn't a social environment like a bar or a club where total strangers are expected to end up speaking. So how does one go about talking to someone like that, and possibly going out with, without seeming like some strange weirdo? I have never exactly been Mr Smooth when it comes to this topic, so I ask for advice (Astronomy? I can do it. You want something coded? Gotchya! You need some complex math done to figure out the volume of some weird shaped object. Good with women? Ehh... not my forte). Link to post Share on other sites
marcjb Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Have you thought of opening an account at the bank? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Don't overthink it. I would just walk up to her, with a piece of paper saying: 'Hey! I know we haven't properly spoken but you're beautiful and I'd love the chance to get to know you better. Call me on *number* if you're interested. Have a great day' If she thinks you're hot and she's comfortable with getting in touch then she will do. If she doesn't, it could be because a) she's not single, b) she's not into strangers, c) she doesn't think you're attractive... but you never know! I wouldn't sweat it any further. Just say 'hey, I just wanted to pass this onto you. See ya!' and slide it under the counter. Others will say it's a wuss approach but personally in a public place I wouldn't want to be put in the position of having to respond on the spot to being hit on, with colleagues and customers overhearing... some women would panic that they'll look 'easy' if they accept and decline. If you slide the paper chances are she'll have a nice confidence boost to the morning and walk around smiling and have time to mull it over and decide to call or text or not. I used to work at a bank as a teller so that's how I'd want to be approached I was a couple times actually, I was never single but I'd always text just saying I was flattered but taken, so that they didn't feel rejected for another reason. Once she has your number I'm sure you'll be able to relax because at least you've made that contact and you know she can get in touch if she wants to. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
blueskyday Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Just walk in and tell her you are thinking about opening an account. Chat it up with her. Hand her your business card and tell her you'd love to take her out to lunch, if she would like to. Or you could contact her if she would rather give you her contact info. Let her choose. Smile and leave. Short and sweet. But I would make sure you've smiled and caught her eye a few times while shopping first. I don't like a cold approach myself. Make sure to smile and say hi next time you are in the bank/store. Like it's no big deal. Sounds like she is interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Eau Claire Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Just walk in and tell her you are thinking about opening an account. Chat it up with her. Hand her your business card and tell her you'd love to take her out to lunch, if she would like to. Or you could contact her if she would rather give you her contact info. Let her choose. Smile and leave. Short and sweet. But I would make sure you've smiled and caught her eye a few times while shopping first. I don't like a cold approach myself. Make sure to smile and say hi next time you are in the bank/store. Like it's no big deal. Sounds like she is interested. Don't do this. No business card. Men have confidence and take the initiative. No 'if'...call me? Yikes. No. Never put the onus on a woman to get back to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
blueskyday Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Don't do this. No business card. Men have confidence and take the initiative. No 'if'...call me? Yikes. No. Never put the onus on a woman to get back to you. I generally agree with this, but she is at work and may get in trouble. I would offer/ask to get her info, too, as I said in my post. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Overland_PK_Astro Posted August 4, 2014 Author Share Posted August 4, 2014 Don't overthink it. I would just walk up to her, with a piece of paper saying: 'Hey! I know we haven't properly spoken but you're beautiful and I'd love the chance to get to know you better. Call me on *number* if you're interested. Have a great day' If she thinks you're hot and she's comfortable with getting in touch then she will do. If she doesn't, it could be because a) she's not single, b) she's not into strangers, c) she doesn't think you're attractive... but you never know! I wouldn't sweat it any further. Just say 'hey, I just wanted to pass this onto you. See ya!' and slide it under the counter. Others will say it's a wuss approach but personally in a public place I wouldn't want to be put in the position of having to respond on the spot to being hit on, with colleagues and customers overhearing... some women would panic that they'll look 'easy' if they accept and decline. If you slide the paper chances are she'll have a nice confidence boost to the morning and walk around smiling and have time to mull it over and decide to call or text or not. I used to work at a bank as a teller so that's how I'd want to be approached I was a couple times actually, I was never single but I'd always text just saying I was flattered but taken, so that they didn't feel rejected for another reason. Once she has your number I'm sure you'll be able to relax because at least you've made that contact and you know she can get in touch if she wants to. Might a note come off as juvenile? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Overland_PK_Astro Posted August 4, 2014 Author Share Posted August 4, 2014 Some guy once stopped me in the street, he gave me his number. I had never seen him before. He was not unattractive but I thought it was weird. Now another guy almost ran into my car and he gave me his number, original? Basically my fear.. as a total stranger it may be weird from her POV. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 She's in a customer service oriented career. She can field inquiries from random people. Just talk to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Overland_PK_Astro Posted August 4, 2014 Author Share Posted August 4, 2014 She's in a customer service oriented career. She can field inquiries from random people. Just talk to her. Ok. How much talking should I do before asking her on a date? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 A few minutes. No more than 5. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Overland_PK_Astro Posted August 5, 2014 Author Share Posted August 5, 2014 A few minutes. No more than 5. And what regarding what another poster brought up, that it may make her feel uneasy in front of coworkers? This bank inside the grocery store isn't huge, there are 3 teller windows, with no more than a foot of space I would say between tellers on their sides. Link to post Share on other sites
Aslanbek Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 Hello, I just registered here just to ask this question. The store I shop at has an actual bank inside, and when I moved here this one woman caught my eye at said bank. I don't have an account at said bank, so I spent a lot of time trying to think up a valid "reason" for approaching her that wouldn't seem odd, eventually I noticed that she works almost every weekend and I did approach her using that fact to strike up a conversation ("Don't they ever give you weekends off?") etc. (You know, come to think of it, making observational comments about the staff rotation at a bank..I hope I am not on some FBI list now somewhere... the bank even has Federal in it's name ) However, I was still nervous talking to her etc and didn't get real far in conversation. So, how does one go about getting a date with someone who they don't directly know, who's only possible interaction is seeing this person at a store at a bank at which I don't have an account? At this point I am just some random person right? She's not in my social circles, and this isn't a social environment like a bar or a club where total strangers are expected to end up speaking. So how does one go about talking to someone like that, and possibly going out with, without seeming like some strange weirdo? I have never exactly been Mr Smooth when it comes to this topic, so I ask for advice (Astronomy? I can do it. You want something coded? Gotchya! You need some complex math done to figure out the volume of some weird shaped object. Good with women? Ehh... not my forte). I am a very shy person, but I approached a cute bank teller 28 years ago, and we've been married for 25 years. So it can work for you! Of course, I really want to get a divorce now.............. Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 Might a note come off as juvenile? Not if you push it across to her with 'I wanted you to have this' and a big grin, eye contact. And then walk away. Seriously, as a teller, if you ever get held up by a robber they're more likely to pass a note through the glass saying 'give me all of your money, I have a gun' than to verbalise it through the glass and risk everyone else hearing, it turning into a major farce, someone tackling you to the ground. We read info passed through that glass all day long, it's normal to us! I think a note gives you a better chance because she will then have time to mull it over and make her final decision to respond favourably or not. If you ask her verbally you risk a knee jerk reaction borne of embarrassment, and her shooting you down. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 And what regarding what another poster brought up, that it may make her feel uneasy in front of coworkers? This bank inside the grocery store isn't huge, there are 3 teller windows, with no more than a foot of space I would say between tellers on their sides. This is the real world, not junior high school. Having a man ask her out will be flattering unless you are stalker. She won't be embarrassed. Even if she turns you down, there should not be any ramifications. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
daisydook Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 So how does one go about talking to someone like that, and possibly going out with, without seeming like some strange weirdo? Hehehe. I think it is kind of cute actually. I would go back and talk to her again, and say something playful and silly, and something along the lines of "I do not know how to say this without seeming like a weirdo, but when we spoke the other day, something about you (insert whatever you like) caught my attention. I just had to come back to see if you would like to call me sometime." I wouldn't make it too long a speech to her. Go in, be to the point, cute and sweet, and give that girl your phone number, dammit! Give her your number! Lol. If she calls, she calls. If she doesn't, she doesn't. You are only losing out FOR SURE, if you do not try!!! It is a definite no if you dont try, right?? Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
daisydook Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 If she is working, and you are worried about privacy, dont be over the top, and dont stay long, make your point in being there known and leave her with your number on a piece of paper. It doesnt have to be a huge ordeal. Lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Overland_PK_Astro Posted August 5, 2014 Author Share Posted August 5, 2014 If she is working, and you are worried about privacy, dont be over the top, and dont stay long, make your point in being there known and leave her with your number on a piece of paper. It doesnt have to be a huge ordeal. Lol I think I will do it tomorrow then, (Wed) she told me she works almost everyday and on the bank's website it lists it's hours as 10 am to 7 pm , so I can probably stop by after work... Or maybe during my lunch...but then if I do that she could be at lunch as well and gone... bah decisions hahaha. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Overland_PK_Astro Posted August 7, 2014 Author Share Posted August 7, 2014 Status update. Went yesterday after work and she wasn't There. I used my lunch break today to try, not there. (So I bought a poptart to eat for Lunch lol) My luck is horrid. Turning the corner to walk towards the bank Feeling nervous just hoping she's there so I can finally ask. Hopefully she is There when I go buy groceries or else I will have to get creative thinking Up excuses to go to Target. The nervousness and uncertainty is mind numbing lol Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 Perhaps she's simply on vacation. Just check next time you have reason to be in the store. Don't make a special trip just to see her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Overland_PK_Astro Posted August 9, 2014 Author Share Posted August 9, 2014 Bah. If someone could give me some advice on this within the next few hours, thanks: So I usually buy my groceries on Saturday or Sunday . I did Saturday today. She was there today so after I checked out I went by the bank and there were a group of people she was helping. So I got in line. This other teller comes out though and asks if there is something that she can help me with. I say no, that I am actually there to talk to her, looking at the woman I wanted to ask out. so I stand and wait a few minutes. Then the other teller tells me that *her name* is opening lots of new accounts and wont be able to talk any time soon. So I walked away. Question is, do I go back later? If I return just to talk to her, won't I seem like a creep? Link to post Share on other sites
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