jgraham19 Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Ive been too needy in the sense that whenever she was busy I couldnt handle not talking to her. Also when she got a great internship instead of being supportive I just got upset that we would have less time together. She had been contemplating a breakup but wasnt planning on it until a bad conversation yesterday. She says I have a month apart from her and then she would re evaluate getting back together. I have told her id fix it before but never took it seriously enough to actually fix the problem. She doubts I can change. What is my best course of action in the next month to prove I wont be as needy? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Learn to accept that you cannot control her or anybody for that matter. Figure out why you don't have enough going on in your own life that you need to be so dependent on another person to occupy your time. What other activities or interests can you pursue on your own to make you a more fulfilled individual? Also figure out why you feel threatened by her success. Instead of being supportive you turned it into being about you. That's selfish. And it most likely stems from your own insecurity. Clingy people aren't attractive, as you've found out by repelling her now. I would work on yourself for you though. Not her or anybody else. She may not come back. She wants space so give it to her. Go NC and work on yourself. Seems to me like working on yourself will take up most of your time....you have a lot to learn. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 a) take a hell of a lot longer than a month. You aren't going to do a thing in a month. You need several months away from her in NC. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 You can & should work on your own self esteem & being more independent. Sadly at the end of a month she will have determined that she can go on without you & will do just that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OwMyEyeball Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 You can & should work on your own self esteem & being more independent. Sadly at the end of a month she will have determined that she can go on without you & will do just that. Agreed The changes you need to make in your life simply won't fall into place in a one year period. Ask yourself very honestly: Why do I feel the need to always talk to her? Maybe just sit there and feel that one out. If you can afford it, a good therapist or counselor could help you better understand yourself and how you got to be how you are. And how to change some of that. That type of behavior typically drives deep down to the core of your personality. It takes a lot of honesty, trial-and-error, pain and time to better understand and adjust at that level. It's well worth it as you may find a lot of your other behaviors/habits/thought processes begin to reshape. That being said, the ultimate goal of this needs to be self-betterment for you, not for another. Otherwise you're just putting up more wallpaper on rotting wood. Link to post Share on other sites
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