FaithInTheDark Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 I have a friend that I've been hooking up with the past couple weeks.... He's really shown what a player he is and openly hits on my friends in front of me. Deep down he's a decent person but I'm not happy with myself. I keep sleeping with him and finally admit to myself I may have feelings for him even though nothing more will come out of it. At a party I saw him and a girlfriend of mine hit it off and his arm was around her blah blah blah. Well she went home and we all went back to the guy friends house and I slept with him again. I let my libido get the best of me. So my girlfriend messages me asking for his number and I told her how we've been hooking up. She didn't know and asked if it was okay if she pursue him as he's been asking to hang out. Honestly it makes me feel kinda rejected and weird but there's no rules between him and I and I haven't been looking out for my own feelings. I don't want to tell her she can't be with him as it's not my call and I'd hate for him to think I'm being obsessive over him. What should I do? I know if I see then together I'll feel weird and sad but there's nothing I can do right? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 What should you do? The same thing we told you to do in your other thread about him. If you don't do something he will end up alternating having sex with you both. Do you want to be a part of that? Link to post Share on other sites
eleve82 Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 Girl... any girl "friend" that STILL wants to pursue a guy despite knowing you are hooking up with him is a) not really a friend and b) just a little too cheap (pardon my french). Now, you can do one thing for yourself - you can respect yourself and cut out the sex with your friend (if going cold turkey is too difficult) or you can make it easier for yourself and cut him out from your life. If he genuinely likes you for who you are, he wouldn't be hitting on other girls all the time and will react to you pulling away. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Poptree Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 I honestly can't say what I would do. I already get annoyed when my friends are too touchy feely when I've mentioned I was interested in a guy. If a friend were to want to date/talk to someone that I've slept with, I'd probably shame her a little. It wouldn't be good for the friendship. Whether I have feelings for him or not, sex makes me bond in some type of way, I'd rather he go sleep with other girls I don't know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FaithInTheDark Posted August 5, 2014 Author Share Posted August 5, 2014 Thanks for your insight. I'm not stoked about it but yes if he were to alternate sex between us that'd be so low on both parts. I just told her to go for him if she wants, she can have my sloppy seconds. I just won't want them to think I care. She should already know I'm not feeling happy about it , I've mentioned it but whatever. Sooo done with this situation ... I gotta grow up Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 Hmmm... That would be weird, for me. When I was a teen, me and my friends used to "share" guys... but as I grew up, that became a big no no. Right now, if I'm sleeping with someone, that someone is off limits to my friends. It doesn't mean we're exclusive, just that my friends cannot go there until I'm done with the guy. And it works the other way around as well... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 If I remember your story from before, this guy is a real jerk so you shouldn't be with him anyway. And doubly so that he's hitting on your friend. Your friend at least asked, so that's something. If I were you, I'd get out of that relationship and tell her she can do what she wants but that he's not a very nice guy. I did once tell a friend of mine who was bugging me for a guy I was dating's phone number that I wanted to wrap up my business with him first without her coming in and complicating things (Knew I was about to stop going out with him at that time). I mean, are you planning on continuing to sleep with him while she dates him? If you tell her to back off, she'll just tell him and he'll probably humiliate you for it. If you tell her to go for it and continue to sleep with him, she won't like it. Bottom line is you need to ditch this dude for good. Link to post Share on other sites
Thegreatestthing Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 It's normal when your having intimate sex with someone to feel close to them and want to be with them or be confused about their feelings for you,don't call yourself obsessive or act like your weak for having human feelings after sex that's the most normal thing in the world. He's kissing you and doing intimate things with you,while putting his arm around your friends,it's depressing if you ask me - find a guy that thinks your worth more than just sex ,who wants to hang out with you and be around you all the time,believe me he exists! but as long as your involved with this guy you won't find him ,your emotions will be too wrapped up in this,not only that but your self worth will be diminished so you won't attract him to you and will contuines to feel low about yourself because this guy doesn't care deeply enough about you. Believe me you will feel so much better if you let this guy go and find someone who wants to love you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts