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Having trouble finding happiness


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juststarry6443

...alone. I'm overly attached to my boyfriend & my cousins who are like my best friends & I always want to see my new niece. I keep wanting someone to want to keep me company & talk to me. I keep feeling lonely & keep not wanting to let go. Like my cousins they've stopped noticing how much I'm there for them, how much I have to offer & how much I try to stay close even if all of us are in our relationships & I know tht goes to show I'm not worth their time so I need to just let go. But I don't want to. & my boyfriend I keep wanting him to like call me more or text me more but I know sometimes he's just tired from work & wants to relax & play games.

I'm not happy rn. Not happy being broke & unproductive &all I have to do all day is wonder when my boyfriend will text me back or if my cousins are ever gong to plan a day to hang out with me. &I'm starting to feel like seeing my niece, hanging out with her & making her laugh is keeping me sane.

Maybe because its summer vacation & I'm bored but I'm feeling like idk how to be happy by my lonesome.

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Well the truth Is, happiness comes from the inside. Love yourself completely for who you are and that inner radiance will shine like a big bright light to those around you. Need to so a little soul searching is all. My best to you.

 

Mea :-)

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Ninjainpajamas

You'll never be happy if it's dependent on someone else, a lot young women especially seem to tie their sense of self-worth and value to men, which is the absolute worst idea because men are in no way prepared or designed to carry that burden...in fact they don't want it.

 

You need your own personal goals, and dreams that you want to fulfill for yourself...the problem is some people seem to only care about relationships, getting married and being attached to someones hip for the rest of their lives...but that's only going to give you a life of worry, anxiety and this constant need for validation and attention that no one can ever fulfill.

 

You need to find yourself, what you want, what you're about and who you are...WITHOUT, everyone else. You need to figure out what represents you, what you stand for and believe in and live your life according to that, instead of following everyone around like a puppy dog hoping they'll play with you.

 

Fulfilling that void comes from within yourself, you fill it yourself...no one comes in and fills it for you, you have to find some passion and motivation that provides fulfillment to your life that you just do for yourself. And for some people that is family and raising a family, but the problem with that is people often time spend too much "dreaming" about that life without any understanding or experience of what that is actually like, no many people are cut out for that kind of life and will get the kind of fulfillment they need from it.

 

You need to learn to become more independent and self-sufficient, or you'll end up leaning on people who are selfish and will exploit your neediness when they desire it, leaving you feeling "betrayed" when they're not so willing to fill your needs in return.

 

Think beyond your fears and recognize them, understand yourself and what you're about, know how you work better than everyone else...you'll see that so much is controlled by issues, insecurities and fears..not the things you think are actually motivating you and giving you "happiness", your kind of happiness is fleeting and always dependent on the moment. You need to search within yourself to learn where to even start, you need to start asking yourself what you really need and want and actually work to accomplish those goals...by yourself, they should be personal independent goals, not the kind of goals that means someone else doing something with you or for you.

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ChessPieceFace

The above posters have points, but ignore the fact that people need people. If the above posters were 100% accurate then solitary confinement wouldn't be much of a punishment...

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I'll agree with the other posters, but I'll add that you should do something that lets you meet new people. It's great that you've got these close relationships, but if these are the only ones you have and you're not keeping busy, it puts pressure on them. There must be some sort of sports team or book club or meetup group around your area that you can join.

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  • 2 weeks later...
travelbug1996
The above posters have points, but ignore the fact that people need people. If the above posters were 100% accurate then solitary confinement wouldn't be much of a punishment...

 

 

People who need people is fine and healthy. Its people who NEEEED people where the problem comes in. As humans, of course we need other people but when relationships have the potential to be codependent they start to determine one's self worth and self respect. Relationships should not have that much power

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