Are some guys Facebook friends with a lady to be in her bullpen when she breaks up?

[Col1]

Many women have a Facebook status of "in a relationship." These women also have some single guy friends on FB. When her dating relationship breaks off (and her FB relationship status changes), do some of those single guys then step up to "make a move?"

 

Do women find this off-putting?

 

Or is one of the reasons she officially changes her status is to let guys know it's okay to pursue.

[melodicintention]

I think you are over analyzing facebook and these people on it. Most people hardly use it anymore anyways and guy are using sites like Instagram and others to hook up nowadays.

 

I have multiple guys who friend me and never say anything too me. I feel watched. But it hardly bothers me because there are creeps and freaks just as much in the real world too.

[daisydook]

I have single guys on my facebook, but no one I would actually date, or would want to date, and I think I have weeded out any of them who actually may have only been there because I'm cute. Most are females, and husbands/fiances/boyfriends of said female friends. I will admit, I did have men on my list who may have been questionable. Operative word, "did."

 

I do not know about all women, so I will not speak for most women or all women. I have a very close guy friend I have grown up with and have known for 26 years. He looked at me one night a while back, when we were hanging out and giggled at me when I tried to fight him on this exact subject about men on my list wanting to be with me if I were single. He said "oh give me a break! Half the men on your list want to bed you, or keep you, or marry you, or at the very least go on a date with you." He was not wrong. Most of the single ones did, or I thought they might, or they had made it clear they would. Lol. I did actually weed out a lot of people though after that, as I felt it was kind of odd, nor did I speak to any of them anyway. I have less than 100 friends on facebook. I am not that cool!

 

I actually don't change my status, and have it blank. I have had it that way since I signed back on last November. I had deactivated my account a few years ago, and then only signed on at the end of last year again. It was safer that way, and went through the biggest break up of my life, during that time. I am very glad I wasnt on facebook. When I signed back on, a lot of people still assumed we were together. I did change my status to just being off, instead of introducing myself again as single, after a few years sans facebook. Lol.

 

I did not change it when I started dating again. It is obvious my boyfriend is in my life, and he does post things, and comment on things, I love yous, pet names, so anyone looking would see that, but I do not have a "status." I wont be changing it any time soon, and do not mind that when someone goes to my page they dont know whether I am married, single, its complicated or I'm gay. Lol. I don't want people knowing everything about my life, unless Im the one to tell them, and most people on facebook are not close friends.

 

Also, when single, I am a LOT more fun and flirty and social in real life. I mingle, I hang out with my friends more, I am usually partying more often (not in a bad way, but more willing and able to do a patio night on Wednesdays, where I would choose to stay in normally! Lol.) I usually make it fairly well known, even if I dont come right out and say to the world "I'M SINGLE AGAIN!!" I go outside and play and show the world how single I am!

[jay1983]

For single guys, Facebook may as well be POF or Tinder. Facebook is a great way to meet women.

 

I think you're right. Almost makes me regret being a facebook snob, not friending people I don't really know, unfriending girls that post nothing but selfies, unfriending people with 500+ friends that never see any of the little I post.

 

Not only do I not care for these people, but they eat the news feed pretty badly. I'm lucky if I log in once a day and when I do, I end up missing sh*t my immediate friends and family write so I just keep facebook at a bare minimum.

[CrystalCastles]

No.

 

I have a few close guy friends. Some are single, some are not. None of them I'd date. I find keeping a friend's list lower than 100 helped as well. Close friends only.

 

I also don't have my relationship status up there. I'm extremely private about my relationship, PMing my bf or texting only. FB seems like a good place to start drama and I'm not into that. I don't want people knowing about my dirty laundry (hell, I don't even talk about my relationship to my best friends!). In any case, the types who are facebook friends to swoop in on a lady aren't worth keeping around, IMO. Gross.

[SpiralOut]

I've had a couple of guys do that with me on FB.

[Noproblem]

It really makes me sick that almost everything in this forum make anything looks so dirty

I have guys on my Facebook who are in relationships right now

 

Does that mean that I am praying whoever that running the world right now that these guys break up, so I can lunch my onslaught to get them

 

Really!

[acrosstheuniverse]

Yes. Only happened to me once or twice in my life, I've kept someone on my list that I was friends with at one point or briefly dated, the entire two years I'm in a relationship I don't hear a peep from them, and then literally a day after I change my status back to 'single' (privately, too, so there's no big facebook announcement) they get back in touch asking how I am and if I want to go out. It makes me lose respect for them immediately and there's absolutely no way I'd get back in touch. Just gets them deleted.

 

There's one guy I briefly dated aged 17 and then 25, he's not on my facebook but every now and then he whatsapps me just asking how I am, then the next question is what's new, and then the next is 'so, you still with your bf?' and when I reply 'yes', he stops replying. It's so predictable it's funny, I only reply because each time I'm almost daring him not to be this predictable sleazy person haha. I laugh with my boyfriend about it.

 

I'm pretty tight with my facebook friends list though, I regularly cull. My criteria is if I saw someone out and about, would I stop in the street to speak to them and catch up? If not, deleted. No old workmates from years ago or friends I haven't spoken to in years, unless at one time or another we shared something really deep or special.

[jay1983]

Now that I met my GF, thanks to Facebook by the way, I hardly use social media. It really is great for single guys. Women are much more likely to respond on FB than they are POF, and everyone is on Facebook, unlike OLD. Keep your profile public, occasionally post something witty, and stay active on your friend's pages. You'll find yourself chatting with new people pretty quick.

 

You are correct, I've talked to a lot of people on my football group page. I just didn't have the time nor the convenience to do it frequently. Only reason I'm on here is because is I have a situation right now. After I get it straightened out you'll only see me post once every other day or so.

[Tayken]

The same can be said for women too....not just "GUYS"

[joystickd]

Well somewhat true. In real life a lot advice guys get from other guys is to be friends with women. It's why guys sometimes will settle for friendship. It's why guys are funny about male friends. It's not always about the women but more about guys