Some time off...would only like to hear from OM/OW

[yogachic]

I would like to hear from OW/OM that have taken some time off from their AP...what were the results from this? Due to my MM's spouse getting a bit suspicious and then finally 'listening' to him - I thought it would be a good thing to take some time (a month) so that he isn't stressing about us...but now i am really regretting this as i am missing him very much and I am struggling not to text him until our agreed upon date...

[herself]

We had a few breaks some for the same reasons.

Always landed on our feet often came back stronger.

The space if you allow it shows strength and respect for all parties.

Dont break it...but do be prepared often (sorry to say) these relationships often dont last.

He clearly loves her if hes worried about discovery and in time guilt and other factors may cause a permanent break as it becomes complicated and no longer fun so to speak.

Use the time for you...try not to think of him but some breathing room to gift to yourself as well. Stay busy...leave your phone off and out of sight right now.

[Pushing Forward]

In June 2012 I decided we should have a break in our PA. However, he wanted to still talk and see each other when we could. We still talked almost every day and saw each other once a month or so but no sex even though he was pushing for it. After six months he told me he was dating someone. He and his W were separating and she had moved out. Four months after I found out about the other woman I pushed him to resume our PA. That was 16 months ago. It was the worst decision I could have made. We had already gone almost a year with hardly any physical contact. Even though I loved him deeply I think I was partially over him. I was an idiot because I didn't want him with her. Recently I found out he was seeing her even before I stopped our physical A. I wasted the last 16 months trying to salvage what I thought was amazing and special just to find out I had been lied to for 2.5 years and am trying to move on now. I would take time to reevaluate your position and not try to push him. Maybe you'll realize you deserve someone who can be yours for real and not risk being caught. I wish I had done just that. I wish I had cut him out of my life completely.

[yogachic]

Thank you ladies... I should also mention that I am also married... and he has a child that he is afraid to lose. I have been trying to keep myself extremely busy and have been trying desperately to reconnect with my spouse (but am not feeling successful - this feeling was before MM).

[MuddyFootprints]

Would you consider opening your thread to fmow?

[yogachic]

Sure muddyfootprints...

[Scarlet2]

The longest break I had from my MM was two months but it was his choice not mine. We still talked and saw each other briefly but there wasn't any sex during the break. What it did was put him back in balance to concentrate on his M instead of thinking about me all the time and it made me think about him more than what I already was. We are currently in the middle of coming back together from the break but I'm not sure if I want it to continue because we're still unbalanced. Everything was fine before the break. I like to think breaks make us stronger but I haven't experienced that side of it yet.

[MuddyFootprints]

Neither of you are completely committed to either relationship.

 

Taping the toy box shut for 30 days won't change anything.

[still_an_Angel]

We went on a break when his W got suspicious and started wanting them to share one car to work and stuff. He couldn't call or text because she's in the car or around him nearly all the time. This lasted over 6 weeks. We only kept in touch via email. It was pretty intense when we got together again, we both struggled during our time apart. We had another one when his house got renovated. We only lasted a couple of weeks.