Making a New Friend

[leeutalkin2me]

Has anyone ever just suddenly developed a friendship out of the blue with someone they havent met before. I know the whole internet/getting to know ppl gets looked at in a very bad light alot of the time. But this is actually in the workplace where you are kinda protected.

 

At work after I had been on holiday, a girl had posted a msg on our Intranet Bulletin Board asking if anyone had been to Sharm El Sheik-Egypt recently and could give her some advice on the place. That very same week I had just returned. I sent her an email explaining I had been and could tell her all the details about it if she liked, not wanting to bombard her incase many people had replied.

 

She responded wanting to know everything, which I obliged in great detail, even putting to rest her concerns of the area. She wanted to go for her Honeymoon.

 

Anyway we kinda got discussing mine + her travel history and gradually mentioned what kinda ppl we are etc. These werent just very short emails, like we all do at work instead of chit chat. They were very long emails, asking questions and generally discussing loads.

 

I found myself looking forward to reading her emails, they were very thought provoking in the beginning. Its been on my mind today so thought Id post and see what other ppls experiences or opinions ofthis kinda thing is.

 

We have mentioned loads of things about each other, things I probably wouldnt explain to people out loud. Joked about my criteria for girls, even told her about one i find real lush.

 

The magical thing I see is that she has really praised me, even before meeting and seeing me. The kind of person I am, and that she cannot believe I am single, that I have all the qualities that they look for. Saying ive a great personality, and a witty person.even tho i dont agree. Thats huge compliments with only seeing me on a holiday photo. Altho my txt language may differ alot from speaking/acting in person. For some reason she said I would be great at internet dating.

 

Its only been a few weeks and she should know me pretty well now. I got a big shock the other day, previously she had mentioned she had walked past my office and seen my name on the door but didnt come in (she works on 1st floor, i am on the 5th floor, its a v big building).

 

A girl walked in the office and i instantly said hello when she looked at me, just good manors I thought, thinking she must be new just gonna use the photocopier, but turned out to b the girl who had been emailing me. I was dumb struck when she said hello Im Amy.

She mentioned later in email, she noticed I was very shocked. Both didnt know what to say, talked for a couple of mins about pretty much nothing and then she left. she told me she is usually a talkative person but cat got her tongue.

 

Just out of chance yesterday, I mentioned a girl at work who hides under my desk sometimes when I am out the office and jumps out when I return. Amy said she could do with some kind of Elf like that, to keep nudging her awake. I mentioned Harry Potter dobby Elf, and she said she loved him.

So I printed a pic of dobby, laminated and stuck it under her desk for her to find. I hadnt been to her office before but found her desk before anyone came into work and placed it there.

 

When she was in work, I emailed her saying did you get your wish of a dobby under your desk, she said I wish, n I told her to have a look. And she was thrilled, apparently these small gestures really make a difference to a girls life, she had felt miserable the previous day so thought it may help.

 

Later the sameday, i went inside an office right nxt door to her, i was talking wiv someone n knocking on the wall. knowing she was in there. Getting quizzed how on earth i even knew the name of the girl in the nxt office, and would you guess it, in she walks to use the photocopier.

We mention a couple of things as my friend grasses on me saying i was knocking, and grilled us again how we actually know each other etc. We didnt give anything away.

I did notice this time, she turned bright red when she had walked in.

I was gonna go in her office but she got disturbed by some solicitor boss of hers and so thought best not too. Later she emailed saying i should have waited n come in to see where she had put Dobby. Only 2ppl work in that office and her colleague wasnt in so it wouldnt have been awkward.

 

We have lots of things in common, find her really interesting, and kinda just got to know each other by chance. Havent really talked properley in person, but it feels so good knowing her.

 

Its sureal how its all happened. What do ppl think? Any advice or opinions

 

Lee

[Jardin]

Sounds like you have the beginnings of a good thing going with this woman. Don't worry so much about the "how" of you two meeting-- you don't have to tell if you don't want to and neither does she-- and lots of people "meet" using the internet.

 

So, make your move. Go out for coffee sometime when you have loads of time to talk (ie. not during the workday!). You won't know what you have with this person until you start talking face to face.

 

Good luck!

[leeutalkin2me]

Im not sure if i mentioned she is engaged to be married. Heres todays emails , they r pretty dramatic

 

 

Ive asked about the wedding today etc and i kinda got this back

Amy:

Feel that I owe you a bit of an explanation.

I guess I'm not feeling chatty because if I'm honest I feel a bit confused. I suppose I don't quite understand what you want to gain from our emails. Come on lay your cards on the table - no skirting around the answer allowed!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Sounds like we are bothing a bit confused

 

So I replied with this

 

Lee:

 

Thats alright that your not feeling chatty.

 

I'm sorry if I have confused you, surprised its not happen before now though.

 

What do I want to gain??? Such a probing question

 

I just think that your a really cool person to know. From what you have told me about yourself, very interesting & honest. The way you think and view all aspects of life.

Never known someone like you before I guess.

 

Im not here to cause any problems or complications, if you think I am, just say I wont take offense.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AMY

 

Please don't apologise - it's not your fault. It's mine.

Basically in a very roundabout way I told you how I feel and yet up until now I had no clue about what you thought about me. Can you appreciate why I was feeling confused?

 

I know that you don't want to cause any difficulties but I find you very appealing and am curious to know more about you. But equally I don't want to cause you any problems.

 

When I asked about what you wanted to gain - I didn't mean it in a way to suggest that I thought badly of you. I just want to know what you want from me? If you don't feel anything about me in a similar vein to how I feel about you then just say and at least I will now for sure and wont keep probing.

 

I think I am just going to hide under my desk for a few weeks now.

 

LEE

 

No, No I should dont blame, not yourself at all.

 

I wouldnt say im a tease, well i dont know what i would call myself, tease was the wrong word but think im probably in the wrong. Im equally very curious about you, as I said before, theres something about you as a person ive never come across. I didnt know if it was because you were new to me or because of the person ive got to know over the last month.

 

Sorry that I've only just mentioned what I thought about you. I didnt want to seem like I was harrassing you in anyway and dont want to cause any problems for you. dodgy situation. So yes I do see why you were confused and take full responsibility for it.

 

Theres no need to hide under your desk, where will Dobby Sleep

 

: - )

[Jardin]

Well, you are right-- that she's to marry someone else DOES shed new light on your situation.

 

Are you sure you want to get in the middle of this? Sounds like she's not too sure about getting married-- and you might be the "excuse" not to go through with it.

 

She may just want/need a friend right now, and you fit the bill.

 

Last fling? Re-bound guy? These are the kind of thing you need to consider-- although I'm sure you are, already.

 

Anyway, this is just some food for thought-- you sound like a very caring, thoughtful person and you deserve better than ambiguity from her (or anyone else, for that matter!)