TROSS17 Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 So my girl tells me she is heading to a concert tow hours away with a male friend that lives an hour away, and told me half way there. I was not pleased. Now a few days later says she had dinner plans to take a male friend out after he repaired her computer and she said she would cxl due to she could not afford it. So they still go out, at a nice restaurant I assume he would be paying,,, then when I texted at 1030 said she was on the way home, well after I texted again they basically went bar hopping and she says she was home at 130am. This "friend" is supposedly married. Then my girl texts me again at 330am blasting me breaking up name calling etc about my questioning. Was I wrong in conclusions and expressing my dislike? I think this "friend" if he was thought it was a date, she said not, but how many dudes are going to drop 150-200 on a girl for just friends? I tried to bite my lip but just could not and didn't say anything rude or mean,, just expressed my dislike of the idea to be out so late. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 The amount of money is relative. $200 to some people is like $20 to someone else. If it's the same guy -- concerts plus dinners . . . it's a slippery slope 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TROSS17 Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 she said it is not the same both supposedly long time friends Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Have you met this guy? Would you be welcome to grab a drink with them? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TROSS17 Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 I have not met either, I was only 6 blocks from where she said they were having dinner., if it was truly just a friend she should have and I did point that out Link to post Share on other sites
Elle1975 Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 How long have you two been dating? Anyway, I agree.. you should have been invited. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Absolutely If he was just a friend, the correct move was to have you join them at least for dessert. When I meet platonic male friends, DH knows he's always welcome. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Ummm... going to a concert and dinner and bar hopping. Those sound like dates to me. Oh, and she didn't tell you about the concert until she was halfway there either, "Oh by the way, Douche Rocket is coming with me. I hope you don't mind!" As if you had a choice in the matter after that! She blasts you at 3:30 AM and name calling because you "questioned their relationship". Well, I think you have valid questions. Dude, if the shoe was on the other foot and you were taking a girl to a concert and then wining and dining on another occasion. She would have dumped your ass in a minute. Dude, what she's doing is disrespectful to your relationship. I mean, geez! The restaurant was six block from your house! She didn't think to invite you to join her?!?! Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Either she's already cheating on you, or she will be in a matter of days. At least she's doing it with such a good friend, no? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TROSS17 Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 I appreciate all your comments and confirming my questioning is within reason Link to post Share on other sites
Dork Vader Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 You said it was two different guys? Or was it the same guy? As for the concert I think she could have handled it better. As soon as she found out she might go she should have talked to you about it. I have bought tickets to concerts and had friends flake the day of. I then mass text my friends to see if anyone can go.. But even if it was last minute she should not have just gone. She should have text said "hey my friend so and so has an extra ticket to the concert I'd like to go.." The dinner and drinks was not appropriate. At the very least she should have invited you to have drinks. She also out right lied to you about coming home. She did not want you there. There was a reason you were not invited. It could have been she just wanted space from you. It could have been there is more to this guy. But no matter what this is not stuff you do in an exclusive relationship. Her actions made you question her and for good reason. You're better off with out this woman. Even if t was just friendship (which I doubt) she has some serious communication problems. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 If it's me, I tell her to shove her attitude and lack of respect sideways and let her know that you can do better. If you want to put up with her antics then by all means have at it but be prepare to be walked on. All in all, I look in another direction for a woman with a bit more manners and tell her to go to hell. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I've been to thousands of concerts and I often went alone, but there were times I went with whoever had the best tickets! So if someone is really into music, you can't judge on that. I openly went out of town to concerts with a male friend while dating and serious about someone else. Because he's into music too, he understood and we didn't even have to have a conversation about it except at some point or other I made sure he knew me and the guy (who was very good looking) were just friends, which was true, friends and coworkers. Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Biggest red flag...you're not included. I think you're completely justified in the way you feel and the way you reacted. Tell her you need some time to sort things out because she really hurt you. Also, you might want to throw in a "How would you feel if I did that to you?" Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Yeah, not good. You weren't included then she tried to turn it around on you and make you seem like the bad guy. I think the name-calling and break-up text were her guilty conscience because she knows bar-hopping with some mysterious male friend isn't cool. I would also wonder what time she actually got home. Anyway... Tell her you want to meet this married friend of hers. Explain that it would make you feel a lot more comfortable if you know who he is. Suggest that he and his wife meet you two for dinner so you can all get to know each other. Her reaction to this suggestion will be very telling, I think. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 If you haven't already, break up with this girl. She is cheating on you, no question about it. She didn't tell you about her concert goes until she was halfway there... she lied to you about coming home, then she had the nerve to get mad at YOU for calling her on her suspicious behavior. Her reaction alone to your concern says it all. She's up to no good, she KNOWS she is doing wrong, and she got defensive. get the hell out man. Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 I think you may be answering your own question here. These are not good signs at all. None whatsoever. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 Tell her you'd like to meet up with her "friend" and his WIFE and see how she responds. Her answer will tell you all you need to know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TROSS17 Posted August 10, 2014 Author Share Posted August 10, 2014 Well thank you all. I feel just in my reactions. Long story short she dumped me at 2 am Saturday morning via text. I agree with most of your comments. I am better off without her. We had dated off and on for 15 years before separate marriages and after. So enough is enough. Thank you for your responses. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Jesus, a break-up text in the middle of the night? She's immature and cowardly. And I have to say I'm very surprised to hear that you've dated on and off for 15 years before marriages...how old is she?? I had assumed from your posts that she was maybe early 20s!! Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 You know someone 15 years and they breakup via text? Something tells me there was plenty more red flags with this one. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Well thank you all. I feel just in my reactions. Long story short she dumped me at 2 am Saturday morning via text. I agree with most of your comments. I am better off without her. We had dated off and on for 15 years before separate marriages and after. So enough is enough. Thank you for your responses. She doesn't know relationship boundaries....glad it's over so you can finally move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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