jacktheripper Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 Hello everyone, I'm wondering if I did the right thing by leaving this girl I took out a girl on our 2nd date earlier today,I took her out at a restaurant for lunch. So its about an hour in the date, and a guy that worked there came to our table, kissed her and said something along the lines of "hey baby whos your friend" I was so confused and angry, I just went up to the front, paid for the meals and left without her. She texted me an hour ago and told me it was her really close friend, also happens to be gay, and had no relationship together. I haven't replied yet, I don't know what to do On our first date it seemed like we had so much chemistry, and she definitely looked like she was interested in me. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 Define "kiss" - where? On the lips or cheek? I think you acted very rashly. You didn't even give her a chance to introduce you to this person or explain herself. She could be telling the truth, you know. You jumped to a conclusion, in my opinion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 As long as it was you, not her, that picked the restaurant, then you know it wasn't intentional but random. She might have told you, Oh, I know this guy that works there. If he's just a friend, she should have offered that info up DURING the introduction. Sounds like some all around bad luck. I would ask her, Why didn't you tell me you knew someone who worked there and explain who he was during the introduction?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jacktheripper Posted August 9, 2014 Author Share Posted August 9, 2014 Sorry for not including some stuff, but the kiss was on the lips. We were choosing where to go, and she told me she knew a great Italian place by her house. After he kissed her briefly, she looked around, then down. She didn't say anything for a minute, and broke the silence by saying it was her really close friend. I just assumed I was wasting my time, too many mixed emotions for me. I was really falling for her, but that little moment just shattered the thought of us being together. Link to post Share on other sites
leavesonautumn Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 She probably looked around and then down because she realized in that moment that you might take it the wrong way. Maybe she wasn't expecting the kiss? I mean, I can understand how you'd feel a bit shocked when you saw it. Here's someone you're hoping to kiss who kisses someone else with no explanation at that moment. She should have explained right after. What did she say after he asked her who you were? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jacktheripper Posted August 9, 2014 Author Share Posted August 9, 2014 She probably looked around and then down because she realized in that moment that you might take it the wrong way. Maybe she wasn't expecting the kiss? I mean, I can understand how you'd feel a bit shocked when you saw it. Here's someone you're hoping to kiss who kisses someone else with no explanation at that moment. She should have explained right after. What did she say after he asked her who you were? She didn't say anything, the guy just left after a minute saying he had to go back to work Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 It's too late to do anything.....it's already over. Link to post Share on other sites
Dork Vader Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 I personally would have finished lunch then left. Then I would have waited for her to contact me and said. i'm sorry but kissing other men while on date is inappropriate. It was nice meeting you good bye. Even if he was gay.. That is what boundaries are for!! The only way I'd possibly have let it slide was IF he was a very good gay friend (like best friend). But if he was that good of a friend she would/should have known he worked there. If he was that good of a friend he would not have risked ruining her date with a peck. Who wants to exchange bodily fluids with a dude that kisses most woman he views as friends? Nasty... You did the right thing you're better off with out this woman. It is a major red flag on numerous levels. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Dork Vader Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 She probably looked around and then down because she realized in that moment that you might take it the wrong way. Maybe she wasn't expecting the kiss? I mean, I can understand how you'd feel a bit shocked when you saw it. Here's someone you're hoping to kiss who kisses someone else with no explanation at that moment. She should have explained right after. What did she say after he asked her who you were? If was truly a gay friend she knew well enough to get a peck from; she would have known the kiss was coming. Her lack of response to "who's this" says a lot as well. She was either in shock and having an o crap moment about the kiss or he was not a friend. But if he was gay as soon as he walked away she would have said sorry about that he's a gay friend.. One question do you know how long she has been single? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 I personally would have finished lunch then left. Then I would have waited for her to contact me and said. i'm sorry but kissing other men while on date is inappropriate. It was nice meeting you good bye. Even if he was gay.. That is what boundaries are for!! The only way I'd possibly have let it slide was IF he was a very good gay friend (like best friend). But if he was that good of a friend she would/should have known he worked there. If he was that good of a friend he would not have risked ruining her date with a peck. Who wants to exchange bodily fluids with a dude that kisses most woman he views as friends? Nasty... You did the right thing you're better off with out this woman. It is a major red flag on numerous levels. Dude! her friend kissed her! she didn't kiss him. She had no control over what happened. I bet she was so taken aback by it, that's why she was so lost for words. It was unfortunate that her friend acted inappropriately, but it wasn't her fault. She didn't over step any boundaries, her friend did! Link to post Share on other sites
leavesonautumn Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 If was truly a gay friend she knew well enough to get a peck from; she would have known the kiss was coming. Her lack of response to "who's this" says a lot as well. She was either in shock and having an o crap moment about the kiss or he was not a friend. But if he was gay as soon as he walked away she would have said sorry about that he's a gay friend.. One question do you know how long she has been single? So, she should have known he'd kiss her because he's gay? That's a bit presumptuous and unfair. Like Smackie said, she had no control over what he did and by the OP's explanation, she even seemed a bit confused after. Should she have explained after? Like I said in my previous post, yes. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 She did say something about it afterwards, she told him it was a really close friend of hers, then he got up and left. He never gave her a chance to explain, he left like a tool. He messed up what could have been a real good thing by over reacting. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 I really don't know why some of you guys are makin her out to be the jerk when she did absolutely nothing wrong. The OP is the jerk here, getting all overly emotional. My god falling for her after one date? Serious insecurity issues. OP you F'd up real bad. Call her, apologize and try to make it right.....time to man up. Link to post Share on other sites
leavesonautumn Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 You're right, I think I missed one of OPs replies after his first post. She did explain and he didn't even really give her a chance. Just sounds like an unfortunate scenario. Imagine the situation though. You're sitting there on a date and someone randomly walks up and kisses the person you're with. I'm not really sure what I'd do except sit there awkwardly. OP, how would you feel about seeing her again? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jacktheripper Posted August 10, 2014 Author Share Posted August 10, 2014 You're right, I think I missed one of OPs replies after his first post. She did explain and he didn't even really give her a chance. Just sounds like an unfortunate scenario. Imagine the situation though. You're sitting there on a date and someone randomly walks up and kisses the person you're with. I'm not really sure what I'd do except sit there awkwardly. OP, how would you feel about seeing her again? I'm going to pass, i don't have her on facebook, and i never asked, but i decided to check her profile and it says "In a relationship with ____" This is a big wtf to me. Link to post Share on other sites
leavesonautumn Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Damn dude, that sounds super messed up. On to the next one! Link to post Share on other sites
JS84 Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Cut your losses and walk away. There's no "wtf" about it. The woman isn't relationship material, end of story. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 If all her close male friends kiss her, she'll stay single for a good long while. Leave it behind OP, nothing lost. Link to post Share on other sites
Dork Vader Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Umm it's not that hard to avoid a kiss. Pull back, put your hand up, turn your cheek a lot of ways. Yeah it might have caught her off guard but that really means he's not that good of a friend. If she was such good friends with him this kissing would have been a regular thing and not out of the norm. Thus she would not have been caught off guard. That said her response would have been.. Sorry about that he's my gay friend. or something a long those lines. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 There's always two sides to a story. Of course a nastier one is painted by the one that is hurting. These days, a little background checking on social media is necessary. There are so many who are easily taken advantage of on OLD sites. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Since she suggested the place, she wanted that guy to see her on a date, whoever he is. It's too soon to be meeting the friends, so she very well may have been playing games with someone. Not sure I'd give her a second chance since she led you into that situation. It's one thing to know the servers and quite another to know them well enough to kiss on the mouth. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Oh well what is do is done.....move on and forget about it. Link to post Share on other sites
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