moto1122 Posted February 26, 2005 Share Posted February 26, 2005 I started the FWB thing last October. I was in a long term relationship for more than 4 years, so I am using this time to enjoy single life. I usually get attached easy, so I let they guy know up front not to be to sweet. I try to see as many guys I can, so it's harder to run in to that problem but one guy I am seeing doesn't want me to be with anyone else, even though he knows the whole story. Every time I see him, the sweet side is raised a level...only when we are together. He seems very distant when we are apart and I don't understand this??? He'll tell me that we will talk soon and doesn't call for a while. Not to mention the girls he has been with were clingy and he hates that. I don't want to seem like the clingy type but I am afraid to call him because of that. What should I do? Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 26, 2005 Share Posted February 26, 2005 Every time I see him, the sweet side is raised a level...only when we are together. He seems very distant when we are apart When he starts treating you as sweetly out of the bedroom as he is in the bedroom, then you can start wondering if he 'serious' and is into more than just a convenient FWB thing. Some people get very attached to, possessive of, and are affectionate with their FWB: but only in the context of that relationship. They'll do the 'luv-n-snuggle-hold-n-cuddle' in the bedroom, but they won't date the FWB or even act like they are dating in public, and only are available with it is in their terms and convenient for them. He doesn't want to be your boyfriend, but he doesn't want anyone else to be sleeping with the girl he is sleeping with. I guess its more of a pride thing in this case than it is a "love/serious/commitment" thing. He isn't calling you, because in this one-sided relationship he is only interested in whats in it for him and whatever concerns you have could possibly interfere with the 'casual nature' of this relationship, so he doesn't want to hear it. When he wants something, he calls you - otherwise he has no reason or desire to call. He blows you off with a "we'll talk later", paired with cold behavior - again, he really doesn't want to hear what you have to say, particularly if it is going to push him out of the status quo. He has made it clear that he hates 'clingy' girls - when people tell you stuff like that in the context of this 'sex without a relationship' situation, its not a "deep and personal sharing" - its a clear warning that you should heed. He wouldn't tell you that if he wasn't afraid that you might be heading in that direction. What is it you are hoping to see come of this relationship? Do you want more than a FWB? If you do, then you'll have to be as prepared to lose him as you are to gain him. It would require pushing him to make the decision between being your boyfriend - or not being with you at all, and sometimes people in a situation like that will oftentimes make the choice we don't want them to make. Link to post Share on other sites
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