One of those "could never get the time right" things :(

[kidinfo1]

Okay so before I start this post let me say first off, some of the things that happened in this situation are pretty ****ed up. So please try to look passed that.. Sometimes it's hard to control how you feel.. I just really need to vent / maybe get some similar stories and how they worked out or even advice if there is any.

 

So this site has helped me through my break up with a girl that I dated on and off again for 5 years. What I didn't mention was what happened everytime we broke up.

 

So I've had this "best friend" but we weren't friend zoned because we'd mess around when I was single. It's like right when me and my ex would break up, she'd be there for me and we'd start a "thing". I would always wind up ****ing it up to go back with my ex.

 

I've been broken up with my ex for over a year now and my friend has a boyfriend (who also happens to be a friend of mine and my whole friend group). We started hanging out again like everyday this summer while her bf was out of town just as friends because like I said, we were best friends, and one thing led to another and we started to mess around again (I know terrible thing to do).

 

Everything just felt so right. We really do match well. And we basically acted like we were dating, except secretly, because like I said all of us are friends with her and her bf. it got to the point where even our friends were like "when are you guys getting married", and people coming up to us on the side asking of we were going to get together because we should.

 

Eventually this last week her bf came back to town and obviously this had to end (they are moving away and need each other for rent). Me and her had this big heart to heart where we realized that we actually always did have feelings for each other, so much in fact that we did things neither of us would ever do (the whole cheating thing). Basically how I was all she wanted but I always always ****ed it up for my ex, and how I always had feelings for her etc. But nothing can come of us for at least a while because of the whole moving / rent thing and how I have my life already set up where we live now.

 

The other night we had a little get together at my house and they came together and that hurt so bad to see. Even though I had no right feeling that way, I did. After that night me and her made an agreement where she wouldn't come over with him if he was at mine and my roommates house, just because of how it made me and her feel. But all I really want is her to come anyway I could care less about anyone else (as bad as that sounds)

 

Anyway, we were texting a bit and she said things like how no matter what in the future we will find each other again and once she works things out and gets settled in the future she's gonna find me (it's not like we won't be in contact anyway). The bad things is, it won't be for over a year and she'll be living with her bf with limited contact to me and not being able to see me, so I'm afraid she'll forget. Which in all honesty probably SHOULD happen since what we did was pretty wrong.

 

It just sucks because I really do think that me and her are a perfect match (and so do all our friends), but we could never get the timing right.

 

I just don't know what to do. We obviously can't talk about this which anyone but ourselves which is why I came here. I needed to vent and I'm hoping someone has something to say that can help. Or at least a similar experiance and how it worked out. Once again I know what we did was terrible so I just ask that you try and look passed that when reading this.

 

Thanks

[todreaminblue]

did she coem clean with her boyfriend.....deb

[kidinfo1]

did she coem clean with her boyfriend.....deb

 

in a perfect world, but it really isn't possible in this situation

[preraph]

So what worries me is her priority and yours as well seems to be keeping your abodes. Seems like if she needed a place, you could maybe make arrangements to get a place with her. And if she's picking him because he's willing to get a place with her, well, where are her standards? I'm sure there are more complex circumstances, like you already have a roommate or whatever, but I mean, why is she not able to survive and have a place to live without depending on a man to pay for it?? Does she not work or what? Please just consider now some of the practical aspects of her and whether she is a responsible person who can stand on her own two feet or whether she prefers to let men foot the bills. I mean, she could get a female roommate, right? Just sayin'. She has options and so do you.

[kidinfo1]

So what worries me is her priority and yours as well seems to be keeping your abodes. Seems like if she needed a place, you could maybe make arrangements to get a place with her. And if she's picking him because he's willing to get a place with her, well, where are her standards? I'm sure there are more complex circumstances, like you already have a roommate or whatever, but I mean, why is she not able to survive and have a place to live without depending on a man to pay for it?? Does she not work or what? Please just consider now some of the practical aspects of her and whether she is a responsible person who can stand on her own two feet or whether she prefers to let men foot the bills. I mean, she could get a female roommate, right? Just sayin'. She has options and so do you.

 

I haven't thought of it like that. But she's moving like an hour away for school and they already out down money for the place and their on the lease together so it's kind of a tough situation. And my life is already somewhat established here I can't fully pick up and leave just yet.

 

It just sucks. I can't tell if she just wants to play 2 guys or actually means what she says. She genuinely seems to care (ie not coming over when her bf all our friends are hanging out so it won't be awkward), but I feel like you can never tell with women these days