meeting new people

[single chick]

i am still getting over the breakdown of a relationship with someone who i loved very much.

 

i want to go out and meet new people so i know that there are other people out there, but i do not want a relationsship with anyone at the moment. i'm simply not ready, and to be quite frank, i am not over my ex.

 

i am going out with friends after work this friday night, and i want to know how to handle the whole thing. there will be single guys everywhere, but i don't want to feel the pressure of come-on lines etc. i'm very attractive, and i get hit on quite a lot, but i don't want a fling or a relationship. i would just like to meet people and make friends without anyone thinking it might develop into something more.

 

what do i do if a guy comes up to me and puts the hard word on me? i don't want to look obviously single, as though i want to "pick up" so to speak.

 

i'm not used to this scene, and any advise would be really helpful.

[Tony T]

There's not a whole lot you can do other than stick very close to a group of friends and let them help shield you from the come-ons.

 

The clubs are the place where single people go to meet people. You won't find a lot of guys there who'll want to be your buddy.

 

If you're looking for friends to just do things with, you're better off being introduced to people by your current friends or meeting people away from the bar scene.

 

In the old days, telling a guy you were married or had a boyfriend would instantly do the trick. Nowadays, that doesn't have much of an effect on most agressive guys. As the night progresses and the guys are more filled with spirits, they are likely to be more persistent. However, you should go out once and just see how it is. I think you can handle it alright just by playing it by ear. But be ready to be very assertive as the night progresses.

 

I think just a smile and letting them know you are with friends and not interested in any kind of association beyond friendship may do the trick. If they persist, go fetch a bouncer.

 

Just remember, the guys aren't there to look for lady "friends" in most cases.