Male dumpers more likely to reconsider?

[Darren2013]

It seems that most female dumpers are more settled in their decision once they end a relationship. They are not likely to look back and give their ex a second chance no matter how much he improves himself and becomes a better man. He will have to apply the lessons he learned to a new girlfriend.

 

But make dumpers are different. It seems that they are more likely to come back and they are not as settled in their decision after they end it. But in those cases the female dumpee has already moved on to another relationship. So in one sense whether a man is a dumper or dumpee he is likely to lose the power struggle game in the end. If he gets dumped she is not likely to come back. If he does the dumping he is more likely to regret it later but by then he couldn't get her back even if he wanted to.

[Phoe]

Not sure if gender really has much to do with it.

 

My exes cheated on me and dumped me, and never looked back. Meanwhile I remained single for several years after being dumped.

 

Once a person is done, they're done. Doesn't matter whether they're guy or girl.

[Dork Vader]

Gender has nothing to do with it. I've been on both ends of it. For me I've mostly been the don't talk to me again I'm done person. But I'm insanely rigid due to being OCD.

 

You might see more of it on here but it doesn't mean that's how it is in real life.

[dreamingoftigers]

IME, a lot of my exes have done at least a test to see if I am still in play..

 

Even when my husband was "done" and we separated, I figured it would be about a six month tunaround. It was about three-ish months. Still together. Married 8 years.

 

My ex left and came back six months later. It didn't work out in the end. But even after we broke up the second time, he contacted again. But by then I was with my husband.

 

When I've dumped someone, you couldn't convince me in any way to give a second chance. Breakups are endings.

[somedude81]

I wish I had more life experience to contribute to this thread.

 

My ex-GF dumped me and she was absolutely settled in her decision. I tried to get her to comeback but nothing worked and I just gave up.

 

While I've only had one GF, I've had several female friends eject me from their lives. After some time I tried to go back to being friends and they all refused.

 

I've never dumped a girl so I can't say whether I'd give a girl I dumped a second chance or not.

[Ordinaryday]

I wish I had more life experience to contribute to this thread.

 

My ex-GF dumped me and she was absolutely settled in her decision. I tried to get her to comeback but nothing worked and I just gave up.

 

While I've only had one GF, I've had several female friends eject me from their lives. After some time I tried to go back to being friends and they all refused.

 

I've never dumped a girl so I can't say whether I'd give a girl I dumped a second chance or not.

 

on the whole (it obviously doesnt apply to EVERY SINGLE WOMAN) women have much stronger support and friendship structures than men post-breakup, cos men have been socially conditioned to not talk about their feelings.

 

when a woman breaks up if she has any doubt about it well she will talk to her friends and discuss what happened with them (from her own perspective) and after her friends say "he's a jerk, good riddance" enough times she will be convinced she made the right decision.

 

and she will have a much easier time meeting someone new who will shower her with love and attention so she wont miss those things cos she still has them, just with someone else.

 

no girl who dumped me EVER came back to reconcile.

 

the most I have ever gotten are useless "hi how are you?" type breadcrumbs designed to ease their guilt.

 

a mistaken belief a lot of dumpees have is that going full NC will hurt their ex and make the ex come back. IT WON'T. she dumped you. she does not want you/me in her life. having complete NC is fine with her, it is just what she wants, and it wont make her come back.

 

even if she does breadcrumb the dumpee it is more to relieve her guilt than out of any genuine concern for his wellbeing and if you do respond once with "Im good thank you" she will go back to ignoring you.

 

in short treat a dumping like a death, treat it like you will never ever see the person again. that is what works for me. dont make plans or schemes to break NC or to get them to miss you, they wont work, because IF THEY WANTED TO BE WITH YOU THEN THEY WOULD BE. nothing changes that fact.

[No Limit]

Cutting someone off isn't a gender-thing, it's a mindset.

 

First BF of a friend broke up with her, he never looked back. Second BF dumped her, he tried to test the waters but she didn't want him back by then. Third BF, that remains to be seen.

 

I cut all ties a few years ago with my (ex-) best friend who thought she could treat me however she pleased, a few months later she wanted me back but by I remained firm in my decision.

 

Perhaps men fall a little bit easier for GIGS and then want their GFs back after a couple ONS, but that's all gender-related stuff I could think of.

[brokenlove14]

I've only had 3 exes.

 

The first one dumped me more than once, always came back. When I finally got around to dumping him, I never took him back. When I decide it's over, it's OVER!

 

The 2nd one, disappeared on me but eventually reappeared. I eventually dumped him and I was D-O-N-E, DONE! He came back. And then a couple years later when he was about to get married he came back to see if I wanted him before going through with it.

 

The 3rd one. He came back. And then ended up dumping me again because he's confused about his feelings. I think he's emotionally immature or has commitment issues or just wants to search for "better." Pretty sure he'll come back. Hopefully before I get to the OVER IT stage because I do really like this one and he treated me well, aside from ripping my heart to pieces.

 

I treat men EXTREMELY well, and I look good too. That's not just my ego talking, I promise. Sometimes all you can do is love people the best you can, and if they decide that love isn't enough, then you just gotta let them go to find happiness. Sometimes later they realize that you were the one who were making them happy. In my case, I think I treat them so well that they get so confident that they become chick magnets. Then they start wondering if this beautiful, amazing girl likes me then maybe I can get someone even more beautiful and amazing. But, I'm a needle in a haystack. So eventually they come back. And eventually I tend to learn that they aren't good enough. LOL.

Edited August 10, 2014 by brokenlove14
spelling mistake

[samg313]

Both of my longer relationships, the woman has either came back or tested the waters.

[brokenlove14]

The 3rd one. He came back. And then ended up dumping me again because he's confused about his feelings. I think he's emotionally immature or has commitment issues or just wants to search for "better." Pretty sure he'll come back. Hopefully before I get to the OVER IT stage because I do really like this one and he treated me well, aside from ripping my heart to pieces.

 

After 32 days NC, the breadcrumbs have begun...lol

[seekingpeaceinlove]

I've had 3 ex bfs and they all came crawling back.

 

Ex#1 - Dated 8 months. He dumped me out of the blue via text on my b-day. A-hole move. He asked me back 3 months later and I rejected him outright. 2 years later he contacted me again. Rejected again.

 

Ex#2 - On/off for 2 years. Break up was mutual. It's been about 5 years since we broke up and he's been trying to get back with me ever since though I am completely over him.

 

Ex#3 - Most recent ex (loved the most) and we dated 1.5 years. He dumped me though we had a rocky relationship and I wasn't happy at all in the end. Well, 7 months later we started talking again...and he let me know he wanted me back. So, I'm cautiously giving it another go....

 

I 100% agree with brokenlove14. If you've treated your exes well & with kindness in the relationships they'll most likely come back at some point... at least that's been my experience.

Edited August 12, 2014 by seekingpeaceinlove