My dating potential online is ridiculously hilarious

[irc333]

Also, I don't email the ones I find unattractive, just the hot ones because if I'm going to get rejected or ignored online, it might as well be from the hot ones.

[Scales]

Seriously, I signed up for okcupid today and put up some decent pictures as well as a nice profile description to go along with it and the results were just wow.

 

I can not even get the ugliest troll on there even if my life depended on it. I messaged women WAYYYY below what I call average and still got nothing.

 

What in the world is going on here. I can with 100% confidence say that I can get women 30 times better in real life than I could online.

 

You tried one day. Give it about 2-3 months. Also, If I remember correctly I think you're still a student and also around 21? Pretty much a death sentence on OLD unless you lied about it. This is definitely one of the few cases I encourage you to lie.

 

OLD takes the fun out of dating. In person, if you see someone attractive you just approach them, ask them out, and you have a 50/50 chance that they'll say yes. Any venue. Any time. There's no waiting like there is with OLD.

 

Dating in general is a numbers game (but the odds in person are better). People forget that with dating in person you have everything you need; all the cues (facial, physical, verbal) and Mother Nature's eau de parfum - pheromones...that help us attract each other.

 

OP, stick with in-person dating. It's free, it's more fun, it's safer, and you know what you're getting b/c you can actually see and talk to the person face to face.

 

I get that OLD works for some people, but it didn't work for me when I tried it. Plus, after the ways that I've been manipulated and lied to by guys online, I'll stay with meeting guys in real life.

 

Different methods work for different people. OLD is a method for matching up interest and personalities before finding out if you match up physically. A lot of people who do real life dating start there relationships out of sex, and then see how it pans out. Even more people in either category stay together simply because of the sex. OLD just flips the process around which makes it harder but can lead to a more solid relationship from the beginning. You still have to meet up no matter what, and then either party may chose to call it off based on the lack of chemistry.

 

I remember a buddy of mine bought some pheromone cologne years ago. He saw some commercial about how it would attract women just by wearing it. A sucker born every minute!

 

Talk about a placebo effect if there ever was one.

 

Ha, ha! Well, technically humans do emit sex signals aka human pheromones naturally. Otherwise, how do you explain sexual attraction? That's what I meant by Mother Nature's eau de parfum.

 

It's mental. A picture of boobs or a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey does not emit pheromones. You think about it, and your body reacts by secreting hormones. Pheromones are a factor, but they don't create chemistry.

 

Because a thousand other guys 'just say hello' and half the time they're not even interested, they just figure sending out a 'blast' will get them more views/replies; most times their messages got skipped.

 

Oh, and whenever I did reply it was nearly always the same crap, bad conversation, lots of one word answers and other awkwardness. If a guy can't even start a conversation beyond very basic one word messages chances are he can't carry one IME.

 

I never expected perfection but a little effort was always appreciated.

 

Hydra is right on this. Guys on OLD send the most horrifically boring messages, and then they get mad because nobody replies. You are competing against the entire internet. There are so many messages which all sound the same. Even the carefully thought out messages all follow a very similar pattern. Oh hey, I see you like "___". That's awesome me too. I've been doing "___" for 5 years and I also really like "___". *insert desperate compliment*

 

I'm tired of people repeating the same theme of "pictures mean everything on OLD". That's like saying a degree gets you the job. It doesn't. Does it get you in the door of more places? Yes. However, how you act in the interview is the most important part. In OLD's case, the interview is your ability to write messages. To be unique. To stand out from thousands of guys. The ability to write funny, smart, unique, and flirtatious messages is the Xfactor to OLD. Pictures/height/weight/income are all just disqualifying factors. Having the right combo of them counts for a lot, but it won't make up for bland messages unless you're a model with a 100k+ salary. In which case, what are you doing on OLD? Women aren't out there looking for models on OLD, they are looking for a unique, interesting, and fun guy with no red flags. If you have red flags, you fix them. If you can't fix them, lying or getting off OLD are your only solutions.

 

If you have bad luck on OLD, it's usually due to red flags in your profile, or you can't write.

Edited August 10, 2014 by Scales

[somedude81]

Uh, yes it does. This is exactly the first round in real life and online dating. The very first impression is usually the appearance.

 

Of course. But in person appearance isn't as important as it is online. As I said before a woman judges how attractive a guy is based on several different characteristics.

 

Also, it's possible to win over a girl who at first wasn't attracted to a guy. That's not possible online.

[Keenly]

This is business as usual man. Nothing new. These women in these sites don't actually haveeenough interest in meeting some one to date to put in any effort whatsoever.

 

 

I've sent oer 1500 messages to different girls, and only a handful of dates resulted from it. Response rate is like 5%, then from there a response that isn't just three words is 5% of that 5%.

 

 

Its a waste of time.

[BlueIris]

...

I can not even get the ugliest troll on there even if my life depended on it. I messaged women WAYYYY below what I call average and still got nothing.

 

What in the world is going on here. I can with 100% confidence say that I can get women 30 times better in real life than I could online. ...

 

Seriously what is going on here...conspiracy theories perhaps? lol

 

Lots of women know how many men on OLD have this attitude, and that their messages are not sincere indications of interest, respect or attraction. Its become such a strong undercurrent in OLD that many people have withdrawn and stopped altogether, or the recipients are just as uncaring about the messages as the senders are.

[GemmaUK]

On LS I have just become used to the reasoning by many guys that their singledom is soley down to women.

 

There is nothing they (the men themselves) can work on. It's just that women are the main problem.

Makes you wonder why on earth they want anything to do with women at all.

[kolleamm]

On LS I have just become used to the reasoning by many guys that their singledom is soley down to women.

 

There is nothing they (the men themselves) can work on. It's just that women are the main problem.

Makes you wonder why on earth they want anything to do with women at all.

Sometimes I wonder if all of these excuses women make are really just a cover up for their lack of confidence. Oh his message wasn't good enough, or his accent is strange.

 

No more like your not ready for a relationship and don't have the guts to actually meet men in real life so you hide all day behind a computer deluding yourself into thinking their not up to your standards when in fact you just lack confidence.

[GemmaUK]

On LS I have just become used to the reasoning by many guys that their singledom is soley down to women.

 

There is nothing they (the men themselves) can work on. It's just that women are the main problem.

Makes you wonder why on earth they want anything to do with women at all.

 

and to elaborate..

 

Gawd! I really cannot be bothered with men so insecure that this is their view.

 

I know far too many people men and women stronger than that to bother with 'woe is me' man.

 

It gets really old (and tedious) really quick when a person doesn't take any responsibility for themselves.

[Eivuwan]

Sometimes I wonder if all of these excuses women make are really just a cover up for their lack of confidence. Oh his message wasn't good enough, or his accent is strange.

 

No more like your not ready for a relationship and don't have the guts to actually meet men in real life so you hide all day behind a computer deluding yourself into thinking their not up to your standards when in fact you just lack confidence.

 

Lol what the hell? First, I think you misunderstood Gemmauk's post. Second, your statement just confirms his post. Women get messages from men who are too lazy to type out more than just "hi." So why go for those men when you can respond to the ones who actually look like he took some effort? The only one who looks like he lacks confidence is you. Getting all upset because you didn't get as many replies as you would like from "ugly trolls" from just one day of OLD.

[GemmaUK]

Sometimes I wonder if all of these excuses women make are really just a cover up for their lack of confidence. Oh his message wasn't good enough, or his accent is strange.

 

No more like your not ready for a relationship and don't have the guts to actually meet men in real life so you hide all day behind a computer deluding yourself into thinking their not up to your standards when in fact you just lack confidence.

 

Lol!

 

I'm not looking, happy single..but thanks for caring!

[Keenly]

Lol what the hell? First, I think you misunderstood Gemmauk's post. Second, your statement just confirms his post. Women get messages from men who are too lazy to type out more than just "hi." So why go for those men when you can respond to the ones who actually look like he took some effort? The only one who looks like he lacks confidence is you. Getting all upset because you didn't get as many replies as you would like from "ugly trolls" from just one day of OLD.

 

Women don't respond to the messages that are well thought out and have substance either.

[Eivuwan]

Women don't respond to the messages that are well thought out and have substance either.

 

I do and I'm a woman.

[Keenly]

I do and I'm a woman.

 

Good! Now make women 20 to 25 in the outlying Sacramento area do the same. Lol

[jay1983]

As a guy who's taken the advice and hand crafted some clever messages. I say that, yes you are more likely to get a response, but it doesn't mean anything. Basically they're just thanking you for the nice message and won't respond after 2nd or 3rd, unless of course you're what they're looking for.

 

When I sent just Hi, how are you, they would still view my profile to see if I'm what they're looking for. If I pass the attraction test and they like my profile, they're not gonna say, "oh well all he said was hi" and skip over me.

 

and the gender war continues. Take that women, RAW! lol

Edited August 10, 2014 by jay1983

[FitChick]

Paid sites are better than free ones. Also, look for info concerning which company owns the site. Usually they own several which all use the same database of members. Google the company name to find the sites on one page so you don't have to search randomly. Then join the cheapest one. I've saved a lot of money that way.

[Eivuwan]

Good! Now make women 20 to 25 in the outlying Sacramento area do the same. Lol

 

Maybe it's not so much OLD. Maybe it's just where you live.

[Eivuwan]

As a guy who's taken the advice and hand crafted some clever messages. I say that, yes you are more likely to get a response, but it doesn't mean anything. Basically they're just thanking you for the nice message and won't respond after 2nd or 3rd, unless of course you're what they're looking for.

 

When I sent just Hi, how are you, they would still view my profile to see if I'm what they're looking for. If I pass the attraction test and they like my profile, they're not gonna say, "oh well all he said was hi" and skip over me.

 

and the gender war continues. Take that women, RAW! lol

 

Well, I'm not saying that guys need to write a paragraph for each message. Even one line in which he indicates that he actually read/skim my profile would be enough. When men just says "hi" I just don't bother. Also, I message men and I don't just say "hi" either and I also get rejected despite my messages.

[Zeurich]

I am a member of OKC since 2009 and I have received the letters from crazy pies like 22 even less. I dont think there are real people on online dating sites any way except crazy people who send mails just for fun, or looking to have some Skype boob fun or bloody scammers so what are you complaining about???????? in a day?????

[Eivuwan]

That's the point we are trying to make, that it doesn't matter much what kind of message you send. If the message recipient likes your pics, you get a response, if they don't, then you get no response.

 

When I was using POF, I tried being a paid member for a time. This let me know whether or not women were reading my messages that I sent. I sent out quite a few well crafted messages, and POF told me they were "unread deleted." People take one look at your pics and decide to respond.

 

Lol, I always assumed that when I don't get a response it's because they don't like my profile, not my picture.

[Phoe]

Good! Now make women 20 to 25 in the outlying Sacramento area do the same. Lol

 

And I gotta say with all honesty, if I COULD make women think the same way as many of us on this site do, I would. You deserve it Keenly.

 

 

In response to the OP - If you're doing decently IRL, forget OLD. It sometimes is the luck of the draw. Many women just won't respond, for whatever reason.

 

There are a chunk of us who respond to every message. I personally responded to every message that wasn't rude (the dude that said "sexy ass lips" for his opening line got no response, lol). I didn't judge the photos, if the guy was polite, he got a response.

 

Now, not every response I wrote got a response back. Some never bothered to write back *shrug*.

 

Some wrote back with one word answers like "sup." and "cool." and made it REALLY difficult to have a conversation with.

 

But a handful were quite nice to chat with, and the first one to ask me on a date got the date.

 

But that scenario is not the common scenario. Not every girl will write back, unfortunately.

[somedude81]

The problem with online dating is that the vast majority of women do not respond to messages. Personally I've never received a reply and I've messaged about 50 women so far. All were thought out messages that referenced something in their profile.

 

I wonder how many of those women actually looked at my profile for more than a second if they even looked at it at all.

[CrystalCastles]

the dude that said "sexy ass lips" for his opening line got no response, lol

 

Sorry, but sexy ass lips? That really cracked me up!

 

:laugh::laugh:

 

I mean, could he be any tackier?

 

:laugh::laugh:

 

The problem with online dating is that the vast majority of women do not respond to messages. Personally I've never received a reply and I've messaged about 50 women so far. All were thought out messages that referenced something in their profile.

 

I wonder how many of those women actually looked at my profile for more than a second if they even looked at it at all.

 

Maybe its the location? Who are you targeting?

 

Last year I signed up to OLD for a week. Many guys messaged me, and many I messaged first. Anyone who was polite, I messaged back, as long as they had a photo, the photo wasn't a zoom-in of their abs only, they weren't an old man (hey, I'm 21, I don't date 50 yr olds!) and they were reasonably within my location (not a 5 hour drive away). I didn't end up meeting anyone because I felt that OLD wasn't for me (feels too much like shopping for a boyfriend).

 

I think that maybe you can target university students? Many of my friends have boyfriends from OLD. Many of them messaged the guy first. I think that university students tend to be more open about meeting with others through OLD and they tend to be more open minded and less picky (at least, that's the mentality of many people at my university!). Also because they're more where you are at- many aren't married, don't have kids, are in the process of working towards careers through study. So its easier to relate to them, I think.

[jay1983]

Odds are, they never looked at your profile. OLD is as shallow as it gets.

 

Not girls that messaged me, but browsing through there were several cute girls that I didn't bother sending a message.

 

Just off the top of my head. One said something like "I'm proud to be an independent women in a male dominated world" something like that.

 

Another said "I don't get along with too many guys and personally I think most men are idiots" I passed on that too.

[somedude81]

Sorry, but sexy ass lips? That really cracked me up!

 

:laugh::laugh:

 

I mean, could he be any tackier?

 

:laugh::laugh:

 

You obviously haven't seen her pictures

 

Maybe its the location? Who are you targeting?

 

I live in a good size city and I'm targeting anybody between 22 and 30 who doesn't look like they're twice my weight.

 

 

Last year I signed up to OLD for a week. Many guys messaged me, and many I messaged first. Anyone who was polite, I messaged back, as long as they had a photo, the photo wasn't a zoom-in of their abs only, they weren't an old man (hey, I'm 21, I don't date 50 yr olds!) and they were reasonably within my location (not a 5 hour drive away).

 

Yeah I'm not surprised that you replied back to guy who sent you a decent message. I get the impression that you're the nice thoughtful type

 

I wish more women were like you and the others that actually replied back.

 

I didn't end up meeting anyone because I felt that OLD wasn't for me (feels too much like shopping for a boyfriend).

 

That's exactly what OLD is.

 

I think that maybe you can target university students? Many of my friends have boyfriends from OLD. Many of them messaged the guy first. I think that university students tend to be more open about meeting with others through OLD and they tend to be more open minded and less picky (at least, that's the mentality of many people at my university!). Also because they're more where you are at- many aren't married, don't have kids, are in the process of working towards careers through study. So its easier to relate to them, I think.

 

First off, I'm not exactly receiving unsolicited messages from women. I've gotten exactly one message from a girl and she was in England.....

 

I'm not really seeing any university students in my OLD results. I'll probably have to lower my search age to find them, but that's OK. Since I'm going to my last semester in college next month I'll have no problem meeting college girls. For OLD, I want to meet girls that are slightly older.

[EngnimaticResponse]

If all you did was say hello, then I don't blame them for not responding. For all they know, they figure you didn't even look at their profiles.

 

FYI, women don't look either. I have written nice messages commenting on something in the profile, and they didn't know what I was talking about. Yes, they didn't even know what was in THEIR OWN profile. I've also had some respond asking me questions that were answered IN MY PROFILE!