My dating potential online is ridiculously hilarious

[Keenly]

I won't discredit what you guys are saying. Pete and Snake, you're trying to help and you're giving some really good advice that won't hurt at all and will help. The thing is I have taken this advice and yes it got me more attention, but all that resulted in was more BBWs and girls just on there just playing around.

 

Keenly says they should try and initiate first. Well, most of those girls have been on there a while because they don't see anything they like. When they do see something they like, they do initiate first, or they'll respond immediately.

 

Keenly did you get a look at what I sent you?

 

I haven't taken a look at it, but I know what it is, and what it says as I've seen similar experiments been done.

 

 

If they ever do initiate first, I've never heard of it. So therefore I couldn't know if they do or don't.

 

I just have a really hard time imagining that girl who puts " just ask " " ask me what you want to know " or even better " ... " as the entirety of her profile would initiate messages ( about 25% to 35% of profiles I see are empty like this, or contain only an instagram URL )

[MissBee]

Because a thousand other guys 'just say hello' and half the time they're not even interested, they just figure sending out a 'blast' will get them more views/replies; most times their messages got skipped.

 

Oh, and whenever I did reply it was nearly always the same crap, bad conversation, lots of one word answers and other awkwardness. If a guy can't even start a conversation beyond very basic one word messages chances are he can't carry one IME.

 

I never expected perfection but a little effort was always appreciated.

 

Ditto.

 

I met my last boyfriend and current one through OLD.

 

If they had just said "Hi" that would have never happened.

 

Both of them weren't even people I was super physically attracted to initially but they actually had a detailed profile filled out which grabbed my interest because based on what they said I could already tell our similarities and not that nonsense about "Ask me" for every field and like me, they looked like they were serious about dating and gave a crap to make a decent profile. When they messaged me they commented on my profile, what we had in common, what they liked, introduced themselves and asked to know more....I immediately perked up. Unlike men who just say hi or say you have stuff in common but who haven't read a word or try to ask you stuff you already said. I actually favorited my bf first though in hopes that he'd message me if he liked what he saw and he did and he sent me a great message not just "Hi" or something generic.

 

OLD is what it is. You will get more misses than hits generally but with patience and conversation skills you can eventually meet someone.

[kolleamm]

In my opinion the only reason women online want a creative message is because if they are not attracted to the guy they will at least have an opportunity to talk their mouths off about themselves and then ditch the guy.

 

They crave attention. Don't give it to them, unless you want to walk out with your tail in between your legs.

[jay1983]

In my opinion the only reason women online want a creative message is because if they are not attracted to the guy they will at least have an opportunity to talk their mouths off about themselves and then ditch the guy.

 

They crave attention. Don't give it to them, unless you want to walk out with your tail in between your legs.

 

There you have it, you've got something here. I don't think people realize what's really going on and just get on there and start shooting messages.

 

I just have a really hard time imagining that girl who puts " just ask " " ask me what you want to know " or even better " ... " as the entirety of her profile would initiate messages ( about 25% to 35% of profiles I see are empty like this, or contain only an instagram URL )

 

These are who aren't serious about it. They didn't take the time to fill anything out and they just like the attention they get.

 

There's a lack of knowledge when it come to OLD. Most guys really don't know what's going on until they start google searching and posting on forums. I wish all guys not having any success would just opt out of OLD or just stop sending any messages all at the same time. That's the only way any of this will change.

[Imported]

In my opinion the only reason women online want a creative message is because if they are not attracted to the guy they will at least have an opportunity to talk their mouths off about themselves and then ditch the guy.

 

They crave attention. Don't give it to them, unless you want to walk out with your tail in between your legs.

 

 

I disagree. Maybe it's just a frame of mind thing. I don't think I am losing anything by telling a girl I think is attractive that she is attractive. It's not a big deal and I don't think she owes anything back. I would hope she is at least happy with the compliment even if she has no interest in me.

[Cinder_ella]

I disagree. Maybe it's just a frame of mind thing. I don't think I am losing anything by telling a girl I think is attractive that she is attractive. It's not a big deal and I don't think she owes anything back. I would hope she is at least happy with the compliment even if she has no interest in me.

 

 

Telling a woman she's attractive is a great idea: it stimulates the feel good chemicals in her brain. If she's attracted to you back she'll probably start planing the Wedding. If she isn't attracted to you she'll still walk away feeling good. Keep up the compliments; good Karma.

[irc333]

Actually it's Meet Up groups and more Meet Up groups. If you have brand name stores in your town then it should have a wide range of Meet Up activities. Our city has almost a thousand groups....hiking,dancing, dining, soccer, knitting, cards,...you name it...hamster raisers.

 

Another place to meet women. Fredricks of Hollywood and Victoria's Secret. ;-)

[Cinder_ella]

Another place to meet women. Fredricks of Hollywood and Victoria's Secret. ;-)

 

You want to hear something funny?

 

I saw my mom this Saturday and somehow we got on the topic of Fredrick's of Hollywood. And my mom is pretty wacky but very insightful and she said she thinks Fredrick's of Hollywood is a store that was originally created to pander to the transvestite crown.

[somedude81]

Another place to meet women. Fredricks of Hollywood and Victoria's Secret. ;-)

 

What about if your working there?

 

A few people on this forum have suggested that I do bra fittings.

 

I am looking for a job to last me the year...

[GemmaUK]

In my opinion the only reason women online want a creative message is because if they are not attracted to the guy they will at least have an opportunity to talk their mouths off about themselves and then ditch the guy.

 

They crave attention. Don't give it to them, unless you want to walk out with your tail in between your legs.

 

If this is how you really feel then step away from any kind of dating just now.

 

Misogyny in men is very unattractive.

We can sense it before it is obvious.

[ascendotum]

This.might be one of those issues that's vastly affected by age differences . That last message sounds a lot like what I send out. What I get back is usually one three or for word sentence that feels like pulling teeth when trying to respond to it.

 

I can relate to this. In that Paris example, the last msg is the type I would send, and like you, my responses were along the lines of what you get. Women love to talk but it did not seem that way on OLD for the most part. I know women's criticisms of guys on OLD is legit, but really I thought guys could have the same criticisms back minus the 'pretending to want a LTR but really looking for sex' one.

 

I also think being average looking and living an average life = booORRRRiiirning for lots of women. Lots of women are average and live humdrum suburban lives likewise, but I do think a lot want a guy in their life that will make it more exciting. I know the types of guys the women I knew dated seemed to have exciting lives.. jet setting, owned yachts, owned million $ coys, senior well paid mgrs, firemen, polices, army Sgts, special ops, surfers, rode motor bikes, search & rescue, pilots, etc.

[Cinder_ella]

If this is how you really feel then step away from any kind of dating just now.

 

Misogyny in men is very unattractive.

We can sense it before it is obvious.

 

It's repulsive. I think It might have it's own scent...something like a mix of rotting garbage and quiet desperation.

[TouchedByViolet]

If this is how you really feel then step away from any kind of dating just now.

 

Misogyny in men is very unattractive.

We can sense it before it is obvious.

 

It's repulsive. I think It might have it's own scent...something like a mix of rotting garbage and quiet desperation.

 

These statements always make me roll my eyes. Some of the biggest *******s I know have no problem getting women (casually or for relationships).

 

When it comes to OLD most guys struggle. It's one of those things you just have to accept.

[GemmaUK]

When it comes to OLD most guys struggle. It's one of those things you just have to accept.

 

As do most women..

We do.

[the tank]

Op give you time and try to have really good picture . I never had a date during my first week. usally took me at least 10-14 days after my subscription. Use paid site too. You need to invest time. in my case I gave up on online dating but I met girls and some of them were really pretty . It's not impossible.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

As an older female (38) who had great success in OLD, I can honestly say that for the average guy in the 20-30 age range, I agree that the odds are stacked against you.

 

My theory is that because a lot of the women in this age range are still wanting and waiting for "the one", without any real idea of who exactly that person really is. Generally, they want the fairly tale - tall, dark, handsome, romantic, faithful badboy that makes you laugh. If they're a hottie, they have no problem getting approached offline, so online, they're hoping for the fairytale. Hell, they don't even have to be a 10, but at that age, its what a lot of women want.

 

I think it gets easier once you are over 30 because the women are more realistic and have been through enough bad relationships to have a good understanding of what constitutes real happiness in a relationship. The criteria changes, therefore, so does the appeal of certain men.

 

I don't think online dating is a waste of time as long as you continue to pursue other options for dating. I know quite a few people who have had success OLD, but again, they were all over 30.

[Cinder_ella]

Quite a women said on their profiles NOT to message them and tell them they are attractive because they are tired of hearing it. I'm sure some men around here can verify this.

 

 

 

I used to work for FOH when I got out of high school. They catered mostly to strippers, but they did have a ton of cross dressers calling there too. The clothes were sexy, but not made well.

 

OMG! When I speak to my mom tomorrow I'm going to tell her she's right about FOH - she's going to be so happy. She loves being right.

[jay1983]

As an older female (38) who had great success in OLD, I can honestly say that for the average guy in the 20-30 age range, I agree that the odds are stacked against you.

 

My theory is that because a lot of the women in this age range are still wanting and waiting for "the one", without any real idea of who exactly that person really is. Generally, they want the fairly tale - tall, dark, handsome, romantic, faithful badboy that makes you laugh. If they're a hottie, they have no problem getting approached offline, so online, they're hoping for the fairytale. Hell, they don't even have to be a 10, but at that age, its what a lot of women want.

 

I think it gets easier once you are over 30 because the women are more realistic and have been through enough bad relationships to have a good understanding of what constitutes real happiness in a relationship. The criteria changes, therefore, so does the appeal of certain men.

 

I don't think online dating is a waste of time as long as you continue to pursue other options for dating. I know quite a few people who have had success OLD, but again, they were all over 30.

 

I think you hit the bullseye here.

Edited August 12, 2014 by jay1983

[kolleamm]

As an older female (38) who had great success in OLD, I can honestly say that for the average guy in the 20-30 age range, I agree that the odds are stacked against you.

 

My theory is that because a lot of the women in this age range are still wanting and waiting for "the one", without any real idea of who exactly that person really is. Generally, they want the fairly tale - tall, dark, handsome, romantic, faithful badboy that makes you laugh. If they're a hottie, they have no problem getting approached offline, so online, they're hoping for the fairytale. Hell, they don't even have to be a 10, but at that age, its what a lot of women want.

 

I think it gets easier once you are over 30 because the women are more realistic and have been through enough bad relationships to have a good understanding of what constitutes real happiness in a relationship. The criteria changes, therefore, so does the appeal of certain men.

 

I don't think online dating is a waste of time as long as you continue to pursue other options for dating. I know quite a few people who have had success OLD, but again, they were all over 30.

You're probably right too, even right now I can name some women who still think they have a chance with some people way out of their network such as celebrities and other types of famous people they will likely never meet. They have this all or nothing mentality in them that is really damaging.

 

Heck even I thought I could get with anyone I wanted, but then I finally grew up and decided I don't need to have the best just someone decent.

 

Looks like it's gonna be a long wait...

[Scales]

This.might be one of those issues that's vastly affected by age differences . That last message sounds a lot like what I send out. What I get back is usually one three or for word sentence that feels like pulling teeth when trying to respond to it.

 

 

I can copy and post multiple examples if you guys are curious, but I'd imagine the response is get from my age demographic, based on experience, would be something like " yeah it was lots of fun. " end of message. And I'm sitting there like what am I supposed to say to that after I just wrote out two paragraphs... X_x

 

Any time I ever got 1 word or 1 sentence responses, I usually accused them of being boring in the next message. You wouldn't believe how quickly they would write an entire paragraph or more after that. Some of those conversations lead to dates. I can tell you for a fact that a few of them were very interesting people. Some women just like to play the "low investment" card.

 

I also admit to being kind of an *******.

[somedude81]

Any time I ever got 1 word or 1 sentence responses, I usually accused them of being boring in the next message. You wouldn't believe how quickly they would write an entire paragraph or more after that. Some of those conversations lead to dates. I can tell you for a fact that a few of them were very interesting people. Some women just like to play the "low investment" card.

 

I also admit to being kind of an *******.

 

Brilliant.

 

I'm going to steal that.

[Cinder_ella]

Any time I ever got 1 word or 1 sentence responses, I usually accused them of being boring in the next message. You wouldn't believe how quickly they would write an entire paragraph or more after that. Some of those conversations lead to dates. I can tell you for a fact that a few of them were very interesting people. Some women just like to play the "low investment" card.

 

I also admit to being kind of an *******.

 

How I miss dating: The games, the mind fu*King the ridiculous highs and lows.

 

(If my husband ever leaves me I'm shaving my head and becoming a Buddhist Nun.)

[endlessabyss]

As an older female (38) who had great success in OLD, I can honestly say that for the average guy in the 20-30 age range, I agree that the odds are stacked against you.

 

My theory is that because a lot of the women in this age range are still wanting and waiting for "the one", without any real idea of who exactly that person really is. Generally, they want the fairly tale - tall, dark, handsome, romantic, faithful badboy that makes you laugh. If they're a hottie, they have no problem getting approached offline, so online, they're hoping for the fairytale. Hell, they don't even have to be a 10, but at that age, its what a lot of women want.

 

I think it gets easier once you are over 30 because the women are more realistic and have been through enough bad relationships to have a good understanding of what constitutes real happiness in a relationship. The criteria changes, therefore, so does the appeal of certain men.

 

I don't think online dating is a waste of time as long as you continue to pursue other options for dating. I know quite a few people who have had success OLD, but again, they were all over 30.

 

That's it!!

 

This is the way it goes. You are essentially going to have about 20% of guys (maybe smaller) having whatever choice of women they want. Then, around the 30's, women are willing to settle down with the less desirable, after riding the carousel. They have been used, and mistreated, because the top 20% have all the options, and sleep from woman to woman. Subsequently, the nice guy is sought out lol.

 

The problem that I would have with this is, do I want the sloppy leftovers, or should I just go out alone? Knowing that you're that undesirable that is just there to be a provider, or to keep someone company, isn't that flattering, no?

 

This is just the process of natural selection.

 

I am very grateful that I have had the experience of sleeping with a semi-decent amount of women in my prime years (some good looking, others not so), had a LTR, and even reproduced (even though I don't see my child anymore).

 

I may be on the other side of the fence now, being single, and not having any options, but I won the game in my eyes. Marriage in western society is a death trap, so at best you'll go from relationship to relationship.

 

The game is complicated. You're going to experience struggle from either side of the fence.

[Cinder_ella]

That's it!!

 

This is the way it goes. You are essentially going to have about 20% of guys (maybe smaller) having whatever choice of women they want. Then, around the 30's, women are willing to settle down with the less desirable, after riding the carousel. They have been used, and mistreated, because the top 20% have all the options, and sleep from woman to woman. Subsequently, the nice guy is sought out lol.

 

The problem that I would have with this is, do I want the sloppy leftovers, or should I just go out alone? Knowing that you're that undesirable that is just there to be a provider, or to keep someone company, isn't that flattering, no?

 

This is just the process of natural selection.

 

I am very grateful that I have had the experience of sleeping with a semi-decent amount of women in my prime years (some good looking, others not so), had a LTR, and even reproduced (even though I don't see my child anymore).

 

I may be on the other side of the fence now, being single, and not having any options, but I won the game in my eyes. Marriage in western society is a death trap, so at best you'll go from relationship to relationship.

 

The game is complicated. You're going to experience struggle from either side of the fence.

 

I'm speechless. "The Leftovers?" I'm going back to my Castle and add another lock on each of the doors.

[endlessabyss]

I'm speechless. "The Leftovers?" I'm going back to my Castle and add another lock on each of the doors.

 

 

I think we have a disconnect here, princess. Are we going to really try to ignore the fact, that from 20-30, that women are going to seek out this "talk, dark, handsome, bad boy"? Due to the fact these guys are not going to settle, women will end up looking for it again and again.

 

Then when they figure out these guys are not going to be relationship material, they settle for the guy that was sitting on the sideline, whimpering about how he's a supreme gentleman, but no one wants him?

 

I have experienced this all too many times myself. I have beta qualities, such as being an introvert, timid, shy, and have been at a disadvantage with my peers who are the opposite. When a chick gets to know me, after about a week she dashes. Lucky for me, I had a pretty good social circle that made up for these flawed characteristics for a few years.

 

The only reason my LTR worked is because my ex saw me at times with a robust social life, and having other options. She then all of the sudden clinged to me. When I was the nice guy, my ex got bored, cheated, broke up with me a million times. The only time I had control is when I had other options, and she knew I was cheating. I didn't want it that way, but that is what her kind are attracted too. When I stopped partying, and spent more time with her, what happen? lol. She moved on the next player.

 

Have fun with your castle locks, or whatever you're taling about.

Edited August 12, 2014 by endlessabyss