Narcissist blocked me on Facebook after I unfriended him

[unknown249]

I have been "seeing" a guy for about 9 months. Or rather we were FWB.

 

I began developing feelings around the same time that he became more distant. He wasn't replying to my texts, he just wasn't acting as a friend would any more and it began to bring me down. This was where I began to notice his narcissist ways.

 

I confronted him about how the whole thing felt one-sided; I was the only one putting effort it and getting nothing out. He said I was right and he was probably being unfair, then outright admitted he was keeping me around as long as he had nobody else. He told me that when a better thing comes along, he will cut me off and have no further contact with me.

 

I became distant that same night, and he was continually apologising admitting I was right - he has narcissistic tendencies. He told me he cared but because he knows he is safe with me he doesn't try.

 

So, the story develops when the following day I text him and he, yet again, didn't reply. So I told him I had given this too many chances and I was done - I admitted I had so many things to say but I was aware he doesn't even get it. With that I told him not to contact me again. I then deleted him on Facebook in order to cut contact. He proceeded to text me to tell me his battery died (which I know was a lie as he was on whatsapp since I sent the message), and said "why else would I not reply"?

 

I ignored it as I knew I should. But today I found that he has deleted me on Facebook, probably after realising I unfriended him. Why has he done this? Is this his way of control? He has essentially threw me out like yesterdays trash.

 

I had control of this and now he has just snatched it away from me.

 

I feel like he's stole me and I hate him for this.

[LittleHamster]

Im no expert, but this looks really bad. I recently went through a similar thing but i had cut things soon as i realised it was one sided. I can only imagine what a 9 months worth of one sided efforts would have done to you. Its the worst kind of emotional pain. Just because ive went through all this, ill tell you that these kind of narcissistic bastards never come around to our expectations. In their mind they've justified everything, like i was so clear about everything, it is her fault only to expect anything from me. He doesn't value sweetie, only thing you can do now is to save your integrity, block him from everywhere and not respond to his advances. You don't need to struggle this much, you deserve a lot more in a relationship and like they say, weed out the *******s early and there can only be benefit from this. If he was meant to be, he will come around himself otherwise it would have only ended in you being in more pain and self loathing.

 

Im really sorry if i have hurt you by saying any of these things but its my personal experience talking and these guys aint worth anything.

[organizedchaos]

I have been "seeing" a guy for about 9 months. Or rather we were FWB.

 

I began developing feelings around the same time that he became more distant. He wasn't replying to my texts, he just wasn't acting as a friend would any more and it began to bring me down. This was where I began to notice his narcissist ways.

 

I confronted him about how the whole thing felt one-sided; I was the only one putting effort it and getting nothing out. He said I was right and he was probably being unfair, then outright admitted he was keeping me around as long as he had nobody else. He told me that when a better thing comes along, he will cut me off and have no further contact with me.

 

I became distant that same night, and he was continually apologising admitting I was right - he has narcissistic tendencies. He told me he cared but because he knows he is safe with me he doesn't try.

 

So, the story develops when the following day I text him and he, yet again, didn't reply. So I told him I had given this too many chances and I was done - I admitted I had so many things to say but I was aware he doesn't even get it. With that I told him not to contact me again. I then deleted him on Facebook in order to cut contact. He proceeded to text me to tell me his battery died (which I know was a lie as he was on whatsapp since I sent the message), and said "why else would I not reply"?

 

I ignored it as I knew I should. But today I found that he has deleted me on Facebook, probably after realising I unfriended him. Why has he done this? Is this his way of control? He has essentially threw me out like yesterdays trash.

 

I had control of this and now he has just snatched it away from me.

 

I feel like he's stole me and I hate him for this.

 

Wait. All the crap that went down, things he said to you, how he treated you...and him blocking you on fb after you unfriend him has your mind spinning out of control? Really?

[unknown249]

The blocking was the icing on the cake so to speak. I had been treated so badly for a long time and when I finally decided enough was enough, he takes the one bit of control I had away from me.

 

It is actually surprising how people like him can worm their way out of everything by victimising himself and making me feel like I am apparently the one who has done something wrong. It is incredibly messed up and I can see that, but my emotions are all over the place.

[mammasita]

He was a FWB. You wanted him to chase you and put in effort, for what exactly?

 

I feel like you expected a little too much.

 

.....and he took your control?

 

You're right, he went on Facebook and said "I'll show unknown249, she thinks she's in control right now, but once I delete her from my Facebook she will know the truth <insert evil laugh here>"

[unknown249]

He has always wanted control, with every aspect of the relationship we had. From grovelling when he knew I was having doubts, to dominating sex.

 

For me to end it on my terms when he clearly didn't like me doing so, it wouldn't surprise me if he did it to spite me or get some sort of reaction.

 

When I was understanding and not treated fairly, which he even admitted, there would be no other reason for him to do that.

 

Maybe I did expect a little too much, but he was completely infatuated with me at the start. He was full of false promises - romantic weekends away, constant texting (even persistent at times), knowing all the right things to say... He did a complete 180 and whenever I asked him to clarify what we were, it was always "I don't know what we are".

 

I can't help but feel he completely screwed me over. He severely lacked honesty, all for his own benefit.

[Zahara]

I had been treated so badly for a long time

 

I'm not sure why you're surprised at feeling you have been completely screwed over when you accepted bad treatment for a long time? You're more than responsible and accountable for what has happened. This doesn't just fall on him, but on you as well. If one accepts bad treatment for a long time, it's no one's fault but their own.

 

How are you surprised by his behavior now when all along you knew he's never considered you or your feelings?

[ExpatInItaly]

I'm not sure why you're surprised at feeling you have been completely screwed over when you accepted bad treatment for a long time? You're more than responsible and accountable for what has happened. This doesn't just fall on him, but on you as well. If one accepts bad treatment for a long time, it's no one's fault but their own.

 

How are you surprised by his behavior now when all along you knew he's never considered you or your feelings?

 

OP, please read the above. Then read it again. I understand his actions are hurtful. I've been there, believe me! But if you knew he was a jerk, why are you so upset now? This is par for the course and you already knew it. Why did you stick around for so long knowing he wasn't treating you well and didn't want a relationship with you?

[SycamoreCircle]

OP, the questions you are asking you will be asking for a while. Narcissistic behavior is baffling. Trust that the answers you seek will eventually become less and less important to you. Every step you take to further yourself from this person is a step towards your own well-being and dignity. That especially includes not giving a rat's a** about anything involving his social media. Be secure in the knowledge that the hurdles you face towards wholeness are nothing compared to the hurdles he faces.

 

Focus on you.

 

Look for the good in people around you.

 

Find something in your life to be grateful for.

 

Forgive.

 

Heal.

 

Move on.

[unknown249]

Thank you all for your comments.

 

I guess you're right. I will never get answers from this, but it's so hard for me to get my head around. I stuck around longer than I should have and I know that now, but although he was neglectful he had such a hold on me - it was hard to escape.