Author beautysoul Posted February 26, 2005 Author Share Posted February 26, 2005 I really can't just leave without telling him. We have a dog, two cats, bills that come here, which I take care of all of that stuff. It's not just that easy. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted February 26, 2005 Share Posted February 26, 2005 The fact is that as he denies even having a problem, he is a timebomb, with a short fuse. You don't want to be around when he explodes. The problem is, that if you tell him, all hell is likely to break loose. He might take out his anger against you or your children. You don't want that. Most bills are monthly I think? Even as you leave you can put the checks for the bills in the mail. Concerning the animals you might need some time to figure a suitable solution. But the concern for your cats and dog is not a reason to stay. Link to post Share on other sites
helena abadi Posted February 26, 2005 Share Posted February 26, 2005 Beautysoul, I agree with all the replies. It is time to leave. You didn't bring out the worst in him. It was already there, waiting for any trigger. The Xmas Day incident just horrified me, particularly. Work out the practical details, you can do it. Get advice on how to do it, enlist support from reliable people around you. That's important. Don't use practical details as an excuse to stay. The fact you're about to graduate from college makes the timing really difficult. Can you talk to someone at college, a counsellor, about your difficulties. Most education institutions are equipped to deal with these types of crises. There is no excuse for abuse. Ever. Abusive men are controlling. They fear that if they're not in total control, then they're powerless. And abuse is out-of-control behaviour. I fear he may hurt you very badly, or worse. He needs HELP. Whether he is prepared to get it, is up to him. That is not your decision. You and your children need protection. Now. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted February 26, 2005 Share Posted February 26, 2005 Call your local domestic violence centre and follow their suggestions. They will know much more about what resources are available to you and the best course of action to follow in your circumstance. BTW, this has nothing to do with bringing out the worst in each other. There is NO excuse. He may have a disorder and that certainly is sad, but you don't need to put yourself in danger because he's troubled. If you're religious, perhaps your role in helping him is to pray for him - from a distance. Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 It's obvious the level of violence is increasing and probably you will someday have to leave. The DOJ (Dept. of Justice) has a [color=red]lethality risk scale [/color]that they say can reliability identify women who may be at risk of being killed by an intimate partner (it's at the bottom of the document.) Here is the link. http://www.ncjrs.org/pdffiles1/jr000250e.pdf Good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
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