I want to try 'us' again but he's afraid of losing me from his life if it ends badly.

[smoothsailing]

Our breakup was mainly due to poor communication, which was exacerbated because we were in a LDR (We're students at different colleges; currently we’re in the same town because of summer). Also my ex found it stressful to be in a LDR, so that was sort of a contributing factor. We've been broken up for just over 2 months now. After 2 weeks of immediate NC, we talked things out and agreed to be friends and to take it slow.

 

We both still have feelings for each other, and in the past week and half we've been talking more and spending time together. When we hang out, we act and do things as if we we’re a couple. So I asked my ex about his thoughts on trying 'us' again. He admitted that we obviously weren't being just friends. He said it's something he'd have to think about because he's afraid to commit. The one thing he does not want is for us to run into the same problems, and have us hate each other by the end (we came close to that when we broke up). In his words, he would rather have me as a friend to him than nothing at all. I asked if he was actively trying to get over me or what, and he said he wasn't trying to do anything, he's just letting whatever happen, happen. He also says that as long as we keep talking regularly, he doesn't see why he wouldn't continue to have feelings for me since this is basically how we survived during the school year.

 

I get that the problems we had weren't ones that would just magically disappear. I wouldn’t get back together without trying to work on them. And I'm not going to pressure him into a relationship either. I'm just afraid that I'll end up getting hurt by continuing this "friendship" with him. So should I just have no communication for now, so that I can move on and truly be just friends with him? Or see where this goes? What do you think is the best course of action? Summer is ending; soon I wont see him at all anymore. Thank you for your help.

[ThorntonMelon]

my ex found it stressful to be in a LDR

 

we talked things out and agreed to be friends and to take it slow.

 

He said it's something he'd have to think about because he's afraid to commit.

 

In his words, he would rather have me as a friend to him than nothing at all

he wasn't trying to do anything, he's just letting whatever happen, happen

 

he doesn't see why he wouldn't continue to have feelings for me

 

You're spending time focusing on this relationship to the point you're posting on a message board and actively strategizing what to do.

 

From what I quoted does it sound like he is putting 25% of what you are into it?

 

Someday you'll laugh at this one when you find the guy who's willing to take a bullet to protect you.

[smoothsailing]

I hope I'll be laughing soon, but you're right I deserve more than this. Thank you.