How to handle mom at home?

[Gloria25]

Hi,

 

My mother has been living on/off with me. She depends on me financially. I am single, no kids, and this last time she came to stay by me...she's extended the time she stayed.

 

It gets frustrating because I believe she doesn't respect my space/home (she thinks she rules), I feel self-conscious about how I am to "act" around her, and I have resentment from her being a selfish mother who only cared about keeping our father around instead of protecting and providing for us (my father was verbally and physically - not sexually - abusive).

 

It's coming to a head lately because I am putting myself out there to meet guys after a long hiatus and want to be at liberty to bring someone over, make out on my couch and bring them to my bedroom w/o her hearing/knowing.

 

I mean, sex can get noisy...I also guess I'm kinda embarrassed that I will be brining home someone that is not a "husband" or someone serious. I've also been on the receiving end of people who you can hear are having sex in the other room and to me that is just rude and gross.

 

So, what do I do? I mean, there are people who are married with kids and/or have siblings or a parent living with them and I'm sure they "get it on" w/o disturbing others and/or feeling self-conscious about it.

 

Anyone can share experiences/advice on what to do? Maybe turn up music? Me to get over myself?

 

Thanks,

[d0nnivain]

there is no non-awkward way to bring somebody home with you under those circumstances. Go to his place or get a hotel. Foist your mother off on other relatives for a weekend if you can but don't think that you can just date without it being weird while she's there.

[preraph]

You are going to have to let your mom fend for herself at some point or you're not going to have much of a life. You need to give them a time limit. Meanwhile, get social services involved with them and see what all resources they can provide. In the US, you can't get most aid unless you have children (which is unfair) but you can get food stamps. If you're in the US, once they are retirement age, they can trade their Social Security checks in on a nice room at the nursing home if they can't scrape enough together to get a cheap housing.